[DianasClan]

My T wants me to talk to my.... insiders I guess..... anyway that just is hard for me to do. I feel like I am crazy or something. I mean really talk to myself???? What do I do? I just feel crazy. How will I know if they hear me and what if they dont want to listen. Then what. And how do I know if they are listening? I am really wrestling with this. But she says it is important. I just feel crazy. Hope i didn't offened anyone here. sorry.

Diana

[jopepsi]

Originally Posted by DianasClan

My T wants me to talk to my.... insiders I guess..... anyway that just is hard for me to do. I feel like I am crazy or something. I mean really talk to myself???? What do I do? I just feel crazy. How will I know if they hear me and what if they dont want to listen. Then what. And how do I know if they are listening? I am really wrestling with this. But she says it is important. I just feel crazy. Hope i didn't offened anyone here. sorry.

Diana

i understand ((((((((dianasclan) )))))) i was told the same thing a couple days ago i already feel crazy, but guess we will find out, i said people already think im crazy now you want me to talk to myslef i know this is probably not much help to you but i do understand what you mean and how it feels

[JudeeB]

In my experience, someone was always listening. When I stopped denying and fighting that they were real, things started to improve, slowly. I eventually went beyond validating them to honestly appreciating what they had done for me.

They are real and they aren't the enemy. The folks who abused us to the point of our mind having to find this unusual coping mechanism are the true enemy. Our alters, our other parts, are wounded, traumatized and often protectors.

I had to get beyond the poor me, why is this happening? to allowing them to work with my counselor and find healing. It wasn't all about me, if that makes sense. They were a mess, making choices based on old perceptions and needed to hear the truth from someone they trusted. At first that certainly wasn't me. My T gained their trust and eventually I became someone they could trust. It was all about finding them healing, not getting rid of them!

Even if some of the things we need to do make us "feel" crazy, we're not. Feelings are not facts. What is the alternative to resisting the very things that could benefit us? More chaos? More inability to function? isn't trying some things that take us out of our comfort zone worth it if it leads to some healing?

just from my experience,
Judy

[Safron]

I'm with JudeeB on this. We talked to ourselves all the time, it's called internal dialogue. We all do this all the time. Talking to all the other parts of you is no different. Granted, if you are just becoming aware of this, you might feel a bit silly but that soon passes. I found life got a lot easier once I learned to negotiate and compromise with all the other parts of me. I often talk 'angel' out of getting some red high heal shoes. lol

One approach is to get a notebook and write back and forth. Write what you want to say to them and ask them to write back. It has worked with us when we have an insider who won't talk.
I started by talking in the privacy of my own safe place. They hear you. Whether they choose to answer is another thing.
Its a process. It takes time.
Have you done any reading on DID? Ther are some good books that talk about how to open communication and create safety inside.
white iris

[DianasClan]

Originally Posted by jopepsi

i understand ((((((((dianasclan) )))))) i was told the same thing a couple days ago i already feel crazy, but guess we will find out, i said people already think im crazy now you want me to talk to myslef i know this is probably not much help to you but i do understand what you mean and how it feels

It actually helps alot to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I even feel bad for feeling this way but just lost mostly.

[DianasClan]

Originally Posted by white_iris

One approach is to get a notebook and write back and forth. Write what you want to say to them and ask them to write back. It has worked with us when we have an insider who won't talk.
I started by talking in the privacy of my own safe place. They hear you. Whether they choose to answer is another thing.
Its a process. It takes time.
Have you done any reading on DID? Ther are some good books that talk about how to open communication and create safety inside.
white iris

I appriciate the advice. are there any books you can recomend? The only experince I have had is with the movie and book Syble.

[Hunny]

It helped me to start with a 'Mind Map'. Not sure if you know what that is. I included everything and everyone, even outer people in that one. Then, I circled all the ones I thought possibly could be alters. It was getting pretty confusing by then so I transered onto another sheet all the ones I thought could be alters and put them in some kind of order by using coloured felt pens. Then, because I'm a drawer I sequestered myself away from everyone for a few days and started to draw or move my pencil around the page to see if I could either represent or give some kind of indication what they looked like or what symbol/icon represent them.

It actually was very helpful at first to show me myself.

Ice

[DianasClan]

Originally Posted by IceStatue

It helped me to start with a 'Mind Map'. Not sure if you know what that is. I included everything and everyone, even outer people in that one. Then, I circled all the ones I thought possibly could be alters. It was getting pretty confusing by then so I transered onto another sheet all the ones I thought could be alters and put them in some kind of order by using coloured felt pens. Then, because I'm a drawer I sequestered myself away from everyone for a few days and started to draw or move my pencil around the page to see if I could either represent or give some kind of indication what they looked like or what symbol/icon represent them.

It actually was very helpful at first to show me myself.

Ice

Thank you for the idea. I am not sure what a mind map is as I have never heard the term used before. All that I know of them is what other people have told me. So I am not sure if that would help or not. I dont even know how many of them there are.

Thanks for the idea.
Diana

[Safron]

I’m not sure about ‘mind map’ either but I find creating a script helps. It’s like a to-do list only a little more information is added. It’s like a plan for your day and, like a shopping list, you must make up your mind to stick to the list or it could work out quite expensive.

I don’t have any particular book to recommend but there is certainly a lot more information out there today and certainly worth checking out.

I remember my mum reading a book called The Three Faces Of Eve. I came across it much later and checked it out. Things got worse before they got better but that was the beginning of my recovery. I had a name for it. My stuff wasn’t as intense but there was definitely something going on and it helped a lot to finally have a name for it.

It has taken me about thirty years to come to terms with it all. Psych meds were stopped a few years back. I am now on a very good antidepressant with no side affects whatsoever. I worked to simplify my life and relieve the pressure and the stress and this has gone a long way in helping me deal. And so long as I can keep the stress and the pressure down, me and mine get along quite well.

[DianasClan]

Originally Posted by Safron

I’m not sure about ‘mind map’ either but I find creating a script helps. It’s like a to-do list only a little more information is added. It’s like a plan for your day and, like a shopping list, you must make up your mind to stick to the list or it could work out quite expensive.

I don’t have any particular book to recommend but there is certainly a lot more information out there today and certainly worth checking out.

I remember my mum reading a book called The Three Faces Of Eve. I came across it much later and checked it out. Things got worse before they got better but that was the beginning of my recovery. I had a name for it. My stuff wasn’t as intense but there was definitely something going on and it helped a lot to finally have a name for it.

It has taken me about thirty years to come to terms with it all. Psych meds were stopped a few years back. I am now on a very good antidepressant with no side affects whatsoever. I worked to simplify my life and relieve the pressure and the stress and this has gone a long way in helping me deal. And so long as I can keep the stress and the pressure down, me and mine get along quite well.

Thank you very much for the thoughts and ideas. I will have to try something. I am just not sure what but writing notes may be the way to go.

Thank you very much,
Diana

[SongBirdandDaisy]

I’m not sure about ‘mind map’ either but I find creating a script helps. It’s like a to-do list only a little more information is added. It’s like a plan for your day and, like a shopping list, you must make up your mind to stick to the list or it could work out quite expensive.

Very good idea! I think I shall also try this. I also like the part about simplifying and working of reducing stress - and being okay with that! I'm thinking being in a hyper state goes back to feeling safe?? Hard to convince oneself that we are safe now. Good thing we got T and all you guys.

Hope everyone is doing well. Not so stable right now - major reorganization happening within - eventually, I think it will be a good thing, but for now - just mighty confusing.

Hugs to everyone - anne

[Safron]

I have lived with this a long time and I can confirm that downward spirals are usually followed by some kind of breakthrough - no matter how small.

[fluttterby]

Art is another outlet for communicating with parts, especially with those not willing to talk/write. I had one that solely drew pictures as a means of communication.

Just my two cents.

[DianasClan]

Originally Posted by SongBirdandDaisy

Very good idea! I think I shall also try this. I also like the part about simplifying and working of reducing stress - and being okay with that! I'm thinking being in a hyper state goes back to feeling safe?? Hard to convince oneself that we are safe now. Good thing we got T and all you guys.

Hope everyone is doing well. Not so stable right now - major reorganization happening within - eventually, I think it will be a good thing, but for now - just mighty confusing.

Hugs to everyone - anne

I try to reduce stress. I work in a stressfull job but compaired to the stress I used to have this is nothing. I am going to try and work on triggers. I think that i need to start there. I have been dealing witht his for most of my life but never put thought in to it. so I have no idea about what trigers it or how to tell if things are worse or better.

Thanks for the ideas.