need to vent

yesturday was a lousy day. I had to work with a total jerk and he caused me so much stress that i was showing signs of anxiety. Last night I was so stressed out that i had tremors in my hands and my friend noticed. I though I had done good and felt like I had not let the stress get to me but I was wrong. This guy is such a jerk that he even refurrs to himself as humble. He really p*ssed me off when he came to me when I was working at a stationary position and told me he would tap me out so I could be free to move around my checkpoint. I looked at him in shock and said what do you mean MY checkpoint I said there are four leads here (him being one of them) to run the checkpoint I dont own it. He is such a lousy, condisending, hypocritical jerk you just cant imagine it. Dealing with him always causes me stress because he thinks he is a know-it-all who always does things half *ssed and I (being the senior lead) have tried to be nice and guide him but i goes in one ear and out the other. and buy the end of the day I just want to kill him. Nobody likes him or respects him and how he has kept his position no one knows.

Does anyone have any ideas that I can use to keep stress from getting to me while i am at work. I mean honestly I dont handle stress like I used to and now it manifests in trembling. I hate it cause I feel like I have no control and all I want to do is ignore the jerk and go about my life. but at work there are times when i have to deal with him and he just drives me nuts.

ok enough rambling. thanks for listening.

Diana

((((((((((((((((((((((Diana))))))))))))))))

Diana, sorry that you ha you have been so much stress and such a bad experience. I just return to work last week, I've been under a lot of stress. There are some co-worker that always will get in our nervess, I just had some options to help me deal with this, let then hurt us and do nothing about it, that...I will never allowe it, been assertive an let them know how you feel , not taking things get out of our hands and look for stategies to deal with all this kind of sterss.

In my case been assetive and don't letting them get in my way or not paying attention more than the situation desertve had help me. If you are seen a T they canteach you different techinique on how to deals with stress. Even books and written materilas on web can help you also.

Hope my experience will help you hun

tc

we all need technique to handle stress

Thanks for the advice. I will talk to my T on Tuesday. At least I hope to talk to my T. I am not sure what has happened the last 2 weeks as those days are fuzzy to me.

Thanks
Diana

Hey, I don't know if this will work for you but it finally did for me. But breathing slowly. If you have a second hand on your watch Breath 12 breaths per minute. Or just look at a digital but breath deep, blow out slowly and think of yourself in a slowly . It helps me when I get tremors and high anxiety. It helps me ground. In through the nose out through the mouth slowly.
Good Luck and I'll be thinking of ya HugsThaCrew

Thank you very much for the idea. It is something I will have to remember to do. I think what bugs me so much is that I thought I was doing good. I did not think I was letting him get to me but I guess I was and did not realize it. I just dont handle anxiety the way I used to. I mean really I did not blow up at him like I wanted to do so I though I was good. Oh well such is life.

Thanks for the idea and support.

Diana

not blowing up is not always of sign of "doing good". for me it means i'm stuffing feelings and that leads to either switching or anxiety or both. thacrew said what i was going to say. deep, mindful breathing.

realize you are upset, angry, what ever. identify that feeling you are having. breath with the acknowledgement of that feeling. using a "mantra" such as "i feel my anger, frustration or whatever" on the in breath and "i acknowledge my anger(or whatever)" on the out breath. then after a few breaths say " i acknowledge my anger" on the in breath and "i will care for my anger" on the out breath. what this does is it lets you feel, know, acknowledge and then release. by the time you do this for several minutes you will feel more grounded.

it's a practice i am just learning. it's called mindfulness. and it comes with practice. if you can, post yourself a note at your station that just says breath, or be mindful.

don't know if this helps. it's just what i am beginning to learn after all these years.....
wi

Thank you for the advice. I will have to remember to do this. I guess that is what I did do was just stuff the feelings away. I have alot to learn.

Thank you
Diana

Some situations can be very difficult. And dealing with certain types of people almost impossible. What I found helps, since I believe in cause and effect, is telling myself that I created this for a reason. There is a lesson in every situation we only need to find it. And in order to do so we must rise above other people’s petty input.

This is deffinately one to ponder. Thank you for the advice.

Diana

I hope I didn’t upset anyone with that remark. It’s just that sometimes things are tuff enough for us without family, friends and workmates making life even more difficult.

Woory not Safron. You did not upset anyone at all. Your comment was simply one to ponder. There are parts we can use and parts we can not. But we are not upset.

Sincerly,
Denise of Diana's Clan

Glad to hear it. I had been having a few bad days. Finally got a decent sleep and feel much brighter now. Often worry about what I've posted when not feeling too good. Take care.

I can completely identify with work being stressful. My anxiety has been so high for the last week that I have barely been able to breathe. I am terrified that I am going to lose my job (again) due to illness. That would really be the last straw I think.

I guess what I do when I get really anxious at work is to try to stay active. I work in a small retail store. If I can manage to get engaged in a project or working with a customer it usually keeps my mind off of my anxiety. For me, it's the down time that is hard. I usually bring a book, sometimes my knitting, and just try to keep busy and quiet. I frequently have to segragate myself from the other two people who work there, as they are just too "normal" for me to deal with at times.

I don't know if any of that helps. But I hope it does. Be well.

DianasClan, I think that it sounds like you are dealing pretty well with this guy, good work! So what if you shake, you have a right to your feelings. When I realized that I didn't have to hide my feelings anymore this was a big relief. So many of us grow up thinking that we have to hide our feelings........

Yeah I grew up feeling like that. Could not cry or have any feelings. I guess that is something I need to work on.

Thanks
Diana

diana's clan, lately i've begun to read the articles on mindfulness. they are helping me recognize how i think when i get anxious or fearful, issues i struggle with. reading/studying them could offer simple, direct helps to try.

when i am anxious my own thoughts can make it worse. i sometimes get stuck in a negative thought pattern, like: "it'll never get better, i can't stand this, it's too much, i'm gonna lose it...." those thoughts are negative thinking habits i gained in the past and mindfulness can help me see and challenge them. "never" is not true, things do change. i can get through this one day and tomorrow will be different. this guy is a double ratfink but i will not let him take up so much space in my head, i can handle this....

WORDS WE MULL OVER HAVE HUGE POWER FOR GOOD/ILL!

sometimes we have to break old thought patterns and develop truer ones.

i'd like to share one spiritual thing i sometimes do with someone i just can't stand. i make myself pray for them and ask God to bless them and give them whatever they really need to become a success. this is radical, very challenging. however, i've done it for a matter of weeks (you do not have to feel good about someone to pray this prayer, i've prayed it through clenched teeth a number of times) there is spiritual power released when we pray for an "enemy", it OFTEN does good for them; it ALWAYS does good for us. it can set you free from this person. it is a moral victory to have the power to actually pray good for someone who is so unlikeable. the only thing to beware is if you start feeling smug about it you have strayed from the purpose and power of it. i've tried it and it does work. (ps, i will pray for you, stress at work is just so tough)

leslie and her pixies

Leslie and the Pixies,

Thank you so much for your post. What you said is all very true. I have to work on changing my thinking. Often when I work with him my mind does go to that negative place saying "I cant deal with him, He is driving me nuts I cant take it" and so on... I really have to work on changing these things.

Also the part you wrote above about prayer is dead on. I am a pagan and in AA and both tell me that is what I am supposed to do. I should be praying for him but have not done so. Again it is my negative thinking that is preventing me from doing so.

I have a lot to learn and do. Thank you very much.

Diana

I wanted to say thank you for your post. I know how you feel as I am terrified of loosing my job do to being DID. So my T has not put that dx on any papers. My official dx is major depression. I work at an airport and there is down time but we are not allowed to do anything during that time. I do my best to stay active but sometimes it is hard. I think it is great that you can take a book or knitting to your work. It would be nice if I could do that. I know what you mean when you say that some people are just to "normal" to deal with. Most of the people I work with are messed up in one form or another it is almost like a requirement to have the job. That too can make things difficult.

Thank you so much for the ideas.

Diana