Kimmy

I have this child alter named "Kimmy" to me. Lately, a lot of triggers have been occurring all at once to bring her out. If this was any other personality of myself, I wouldn't mind.

Kimmy is a little psychotic. She jumps out of windows, runs into busy streets, and can't tell present from past.

I've tried talking to my ((4th)) therapist, but not only does she not believe in Dissociative Identity Disorder, she refuses to deal with or listen to anything I say. I wish I could drop this T, but as of now, I am only 14, so I can't pay my own way. This therapist is being paid by CPS and the State, since my mom can't afford it. And we can't switch until March 17th.

Kimmy's calmed down a lot, because she has finally told one of her stories of my past. So I guess I can continue on for a little longer with her insanity... but I have such a hard time believing what she says about my past. It seems so gruesome, and I just can't really accept it at times.

its so outrageously hard to make meaning but the only way to start is to let the pain speak any words that come -sensible believable or not Your mind will believe and deny but we're all free to keep trying to make some meaning and discard what doesnt feel true and reclaim it again for as long as it takes. I'm sorry your in this chaos -I hope you keep talking and listening to your self and whoever can help.
Wishing there was a short-cut too
Kathy

welcome to psychcentral.

Perhaps you can find something for Kimmy to do that allows her to share more of her stories without having to speak them to a T that doesn't "believe" she exists!

coloring, collages (cut and pasting magazine pictures and words) fingerpaint etc.

Reassure her (write notes she can find and read?) that she doesn't need to jump out a window when she gets scared... maybe find something that makes her feel more secure? (doll, book etc)

Some Ts refuse to accept the full definition of DID, and this is THEIR problem! But do keep in mind some mean it for very good reasons: they think that by ascribing actions "to another" you are not taking responsibility for "your" actions.

If you find, even after March, that you must stay with this T, try and discuss this further, with how their coping techniques can help you, who "believes" it is another personality. Gee, what a tough spot youmust feel you are in!

Do I call you Dagger or Daggah
Angie

Thanks for the tip. I tried the notes and journals and such, but nothing seemed to work. Almost everyone in the system has artistic talents, so that may work.

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Do I call you Dagger or Daggah
Angie

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Call me what you like. Dagger is the name of a personality of mine, and Daggah is that nickname o.o;

I'm DID too but the host body is much older than you, but I do understand what your going through
Angie

thank you. It's fine, I just wanna know I'm not alone and Kimmy can get through this

What I tell people is never settle. You pay good money, or in this case the state, for therapy. It doesn't do you or your T any good when you two don't connect. & yes, most don't believe in DID; so you find someone who does. Never settle. This is your life & you're young so you have an advantage in getting good therapy at this age. Most of us weren't diagnosed till later much less be in therapy for it. Please do not settle. Get help from a good therapist, find a way. It'll make your life easier when you grow older. Believe me, a lot of us are older, I'm 30, & I wish I would've started good therapy for my DID at a younger age. I would be a lot stronger.
Keep us updated & welcome to the forum!
Love,
RhysMadison

Believe me sweetie your not alone there are alot more of us here than you think
Angie

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
What I tell people is never settle. You pay good money, or in this case the state, for therapy. It doesn't do you or your T any good when you two don't connect. & yes, most don't believe in DID; so you find someone who does. Never settle. This is your life & you're young so you have an advantage in getting good therapy at this age. Most of us weren't diagnosed till later much less be in therapy for it. Please do not settle. Get help from a good therapist, find a way. It'll make your life easier when you grow older. Believe me, a lot of us are older, I'm 30, & I wish I would've started good therapy for my DID at a younger age. I would be a lot stronger.
Keep us updated & welcome to the forum!
Love,
RhysMadison

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You're right. I shouldn't settle for this. I think I can get my own job to help my mom pay for the therapy.

And I'm glad I was diagnosed early. I can cope with it sooner now, and I simply have a lot going for me.

Thanks!
-Dagger

yep, my t thought DID was so extremely rare and so over dx'ed that he never believed he'd ever see it in his career...then came "us"...lol. i couldn't imagine having a better t.

i don't think anyone should have to settle for having a t who is not on the same page...how could any progress be made?

be safe,

I once thought DID was that rare too. But now I see it's not nearly as rare as it was once thought. Just because switching wasn't as obvious as it was in Sybil, most weren't recognized. I need to find a therapist who will believe in "us".

What I found out is Sybil is a rare case. Many of us w/ DID don't look like how they portray a DID person to be, act, look. Nobody knows when I'm not me, very rarely does my husband or parents see when I'm not "me". Sybil was a good movie but people got mixed messages on what DID is/ isn't. 'course they wouldn't make a movie if it didn't have Hollywood drama to it.
Btw, you may be only 14 but you sound very mature for your age. Take care!
Love,
RhysMadison

-nods- I learned that just last night. Sybil was a very rare case. One of my alters make almost no sign of switching, and his manerisms and vocal patterns are similar to mine. Most of my friends know him very very well, but had no clue he wasn't me.

Yeah, I turn fifteen in May ^^; In my profile, I think I listed my birthdate as something else by accident, because a different personality registered. I do admit to being very mature, and I do like being congratulated on it, but I think it's best no one praises me on it. I tend to start thinking I know everything, when I am far from so.

Back to my Kimmy personality, one of my IRL friends had come over and listened to her a little, so her random suicidal impulses have subdued a lot. I'll be fine, and try to follow some of the advice you all have offered me.