WE hate April. so many sad memories and so much hurt inside
just want to . T says I can go in again if it gets too hard, but she
wants me to not stay in.
I don't do these intense feelings
I don't like these intense feelings.
But my going behind my wall only puts more pressure on others inside.
Then I feel like I've hurt them.
So I'm back, but not at all liking this.

[Hunny]

Hi White_iris

Just so you know, you are in my thoughts:



All being well, chat with you tomorrow.

Ice

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( the constellation )))))))))))))))

[Elysium]

((((((WI)))))



Thinking of you.....

[Sad In TX]

Hugs to you. I am sorry this is a rough month for you. I don't particularly care for a few months myself due to childhood crap and other things that have happened. But I feel ya, and hope you get through this. Get with your T if you need to...

[possum220]

Dear White Iris,

Just so you know you are not alone............ We hate April too.

Maybe we could Hide in Fuzzy's cave until May is Here???

We can be safe there and draw and play games and watch cartoons.

Wanna do that??

Possum

[DianasClan]

April was always a hard time for me. Bad memories and things linked with tax time. Tax time was such a trig for me that i had to take action. now i deal with tax time in febuary and i look forward to it cuase i always get money back. but april is still a downer. I try to focus on good things.

((((((((((((hugs for you all)))))))))))))

Diana

[Miri]

Originally Posted by white_iris

WE hate April. so many sad memories and so much hurt inside
just want to . T says I can go in again if it gets too hard, but she
wants me to not stay in.
I don't do these intense feelings
I don't like these intense feelings.
But my going behind my wall only puts more pressure on others inside.
Then I feel like I've hurt them.
So I'm back, but not at all liking this.

Hello White Iris, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope it passes by quickly. What helps you? I cope by keeping busy, but it is exhausting. If you ignore the actual date, will the days fly by faster? Is there something special about May to look forward to? Is there even one thing in April that is good? I hope so.

I'm sorry you are feeling like this, White Iris. Will you take ?

I hope this bad ime passes quickly for you.

thanx for everyone here
its' the heaviness in our heart.
the hurting and the sadness
we lost our first baby in april---jennifer
our beloved grandpa died in april
some littles don't understand this is years later
and they miss grandpa so much.
they miss grandma too.
they were our refuge
baby memories got triggered with this past surgery
very painful and sad memories.
everything feels split wide open.
trying to put perspective on it.
it just hurts so d--- much.

[multipixie9]

Long before we learned we were DID and began to get help we would get horrible depression in our birth month and around all holidays. For us we later learned the people who abused us did especially horrid stuff to us at special times in the year. They ruined all holidays for us for about 40 years or more and we have gotten better enough to tolerate holidays, but I still like any day that is not a holiday better than a holiday. at least we don't want to die anymore at birthday time and holidays.

Eventually it will get better and not hurt so bad at these times of your personal year. It would be something to talk to your T about if you have one. I am sorry it is hard for you.

Leslie and her pixies

[iamtwilight]

keeping you in my thoughts white iris

april is bad for us too, and may.

funny thing, though a little off-topic... i always thought i was rebelling because i was so anti-holidays - but now i know better. hehe.


twilight

(((((Pixies))))) ((((Twilight)))))) (((((((Dianasclan)))))) and all who are having a rough time this month.

I know we can get though this. I remind myself that
"these are memories" "I am in NOW time" and even
tho it is so very painful, I have survived this before.
It's not easy.
Sadness and gut wretching pain is not easy

I sometimes want to curl in a ball or go inside and hide.
I have.
But it only keeps me there--in the memory, in the pain.

I am trying to focus on spring.
As hard as that is
trying to write
trying to draw
trying to breathe.
If those that are having difficulty during this month do so also
we can, at least in spirit
support each other and share this
and move forward.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((white_iris))))))))))))))))))))))))) May I sit with you and help share your pain so maybe it is not quite so overwhelming. I am sorry that it is such a hard time for you. Please take all the support that is given here. I know how much it can hurt sometimes. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal.

BB

[iamtwilight]

sitting here with you too if that's alright.

-- twilight

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( the constellation ))))))))))))))))

[Jewels]

April seems to be a bad month for a lot of people, me included. Well, that part of me seems to be very despondent and unable to hold back the tears, yet she wants to spend time out so she can forget about her own hurt and help someone else. I want to be like that myself, but I just am NOT that kind of girl. I used to be very good at helping other people, but since being in T, have found that I get overwhelmed at the slightest things, and run inside without dealing with it, so whoever comes out has to deal with it the best they know how. And it might trigger them as well. But I just don't care. I want to put as much distance between myself and the trigger as possible. So, know that there are others who share your pain in the month of April for their own reasons. Let's try to stick together and then we can make it!

Yahna, the main Jewel