going through Divorce, but still hoping

Feeling like giving up on everything, the girl I married and loved has ditched me, we have signed for divorce, she was living seperately for last 2yrs, but I was hoping that she will come back to me. Mistakes were made from both sides, maybe I have behaved with her rudely in the first few days of marriage, as it was arranged. She keeps on reminding me of old things and not ready to forget and move on.
I have never loved any girl in my life or never had girlfriends, I am 34 now, I am still begging her to come back to me and have agreed to all her conditions, but she seems to be stuck in the past and says she cannot get back to me. I am really heartbroken and finding it really hard to forget her. Have started antidepressants about a week ago. But dont have the motivation anymore, I had invested so much time, money and energy into the relationship and she has left me high and dry, dont know what to do, hoping that she changes her mind.
I am really struggling to forget her, my mind says let her go but my heart says that she is the one for me and that I love her, we had some good times together. Just hoping and praying that someone puts some sense into her.

Just hanging on for the sake of my parents and sister, otherwise have thought of ending it all several times.

Sounds like you're grieving this lost relationship. It sounds like her mind is made up so I don't think you should try to change her mind. All you can do is make this as painless as possible an learn from this experience. Don't think about ending your life over this - nothing is worth your life. Hang in there and in time it will get better.

((((((((((vaarier))))))))

So sorry to hear you are in such pain. Hang in there.

Can you think of it from her point of view???? An arranged marriage & you treated her rudely the first days of your marriage......what in the world do you think you were telling her.....how much you loved her? Remember, actions speak louder than words & your rude actions told her that you didn't love her & that she meant nothing to you.

I wonder if you really do love her or if you are just in love with having the marriage relationship & the perks that go along with it, but NOT REALLY HER. I am sure by the way you treated her when you were first married that she would wonder the same thing.

The thing is that verbally agreeing to her conditions doesn't show any change of action.....we can agree to a lot of things but may not be able to mentally or emotionally be able to meet the conditions & I'm thinking she must be having those doubts or she wouldn't be so adamant about the divorce.

I think what you can best do for yourself is to realize the truth about the relationship.....it was arranged & neither of you were really into being married to each other. Kind of sounds like you really wanted to be married at your age (family pressure or whatever) & she was the convenient one for the arrangement without any emotional involvement. Relationships like that very rarely work out.....so there is really nothing embarrassing about it......it's not like you had a long love relationship before you got married & it doesn't sound like there are really any REAL emotional ties that are being broken.

Sometimes the best thing we can get from a relationship is to analyze it & understand what the problem was (no love to base the marriage on in the first place) & learn for possibly the next time if you really meet someone that you are both attracted to each other. One way relationships don't work either.

Put this marriage behind you, knowing that arranged marriages aren't the answer for you & be happy with your life as it is.....then if you find the perfect match. Wishing you the best through all this difficult time you need to sort through the reality of your situation.

Be well