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  #1  
Old Nov 09, 2012, 10:42 PM
justjackie's Avatar
justjackie justjackie is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2012
Location: michigan
Posts: 17
hello all. it has been 5 days since i asked my hubby for a divorce. things have just been so bad for so long. but now that he is gone, i find myself wishing he would come back. wtf right? i mean i should be glad his emotionally/verbally abusive, cheating, lying, no working *** is gone, right?? but i still love him and even though i was the one who started the divorce proceedings, i still hope he might come back. but he moved in with his "girlfriend" and is refusing to even talk to me. every one of my family and friends is glad he is finally gone and i know it is for the best, but i miss him. i'm all churned up inside. maybe somebody who has already gone through this can give me some helpful words and suggestions. thanks.
Hugs from:
Anonymous33145, melstar

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  #2  
Old Nov 12, 2012, 06:37 AM
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Leed Leed is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
Dearheart, if he's been lying, cheating, verbally and emotionally abusing you, it is for the best that he is gone! I'm afraid that you just got used to that lifestyle, and that's why you wish he was back. I don't think that you really "love" him -- I think you are lonely, and you're afraid of being alone. I think he's battered your self-esteem so badly, that you think you can't get anyone else! And that's just NOT TRUE. You are a bright, intelligent, loving, caring person who DESERVES to have a loving, caring, compassionate man to care for you!!! No more of this verbal and emotional abuse!!! Stay away from men who talk badly about women. Stay away from men who drink alot. Stay away from men who are "players." Find a nice, quiet man who isn't going to cheat every chance he gets! He's out there, believe me.

Don't wish that your ex would come back -- your life was misery, and you know that. Wish for a grand NEW life - it's waiting for you!
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The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield
  #3  
Old Nov 12, 2012, 10:21 PM
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Big Mama Big Mama is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,191
Hey. I'm sorry you feel so lost. I have a feeling I'd be the same way if I were in your shoes. Know that you are not alone. Please talk to us here at PC, maybe we can help put your mind at ease.
  #4  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 07:09 PM
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justjackie justjackie is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2012
Location: michigan
Posts: 17
thanks for the responses.

it's been 3 weeks since i asked my husband for a divorce and a lot has happened in that time. i called our local shelterhouse (where i have received help before) and was told that they can help with all the paperwork and since i'm on disability i could get all the fees waived. so, that's what i did. yesterday i filed my divorce papers and it will be final on january 23, 2013. monday i have to call and have him taken off my dss case, my mshda and my lease.

this all seems to be happening way too fast. i'm struggling with how easy it is to just erase him out of my life. i mean, i know i don't want him back, i know he has a girlfriend, and he can barely be civil when we communicate. but how am i just supposed to let go and pretend he was never here, never loved me, that i didn't spend 5 1/2 years caring for him. i'm having a hard time today.
Hugs from:
Big Mama
  #5  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 09:43 PM
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Big Mama Big Mama is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,191
I am so sorry this is hurting you. I know these changes must feel huge. I know that my time may be soon. I may be in the same position as you. I feel for you and anyone else having to go threw this. I am happy for the stregnth you had to move forward. IO know the end result will be positive. It's just the time in between that is so difficult.
  #6  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 09:51 PM
Anonymous12111009
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Posts: n/a
I've been separated from my wife for about 8 months and the divorce won't be done until March of next year because our state does not allow divorce until after 1 year of separation. She initiated the divorce and really after a few weeks I was sure it was the right thing but at the same time, I went through a lot of very tough emotional challenges for awhile.

It does get better. In spite of the fact I knew I didn't want her back, there was this big empty space in my life that was there for 13 years. Just being married for that long and then suddenly alone is hard. It takes a lot of re-adjustment and your whole way of thinking has to shift and that won't happen overnight. I've learned to focus on my kids and myself more but it wasn't easy and took a bit of work. Being on PC helped a lot, I made a lot of friends here and met a lot of supportive people.

Hang in there!
*hugs*
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