[BlackTears]

For 12 years ive been with my husband... We have three beautiful daughters.. I have dealt with other girls throughout my marriage my husband though claiming never pbysically cheating on me would push me away and have emotional affairs witb girls he thinks are prettier then me.. Through it all I stayed loyal to him everyday my family gas always been the most important thing in my life.. Though cruel to me at times and as lonely as I was I never stopped loving or wanting my husband.... I got pregnant with our third daughter and he was beyond cruel to me barely talked to me never went to any apts made it know he did not want her... Though lonely i got through it and during her first year of life he wouldnt do anything chanve her feed her nothing my life changed no help with three kids he wouldnt watch them so I could work.... No sleep exhausted frustrated when she was 8 mos old I told him we needed to seperate to hopefully fix us... He moved out and we were still intimate then one day my middle daughter tells me about the girl who went to the park with them... Next thing I know i. Being served divorce papers wants me out of the house were in cause his names on it... My life had been turned upside down I cried so much didnt know how to go on... Somehow I did my girls and I moved to a lil town no one knows us.... Slowly im starting over our divorce was final in nov and in dec he starts being so nice to me and on christmas eve i gave into him and have been since then till by accident i found out the truth about this girl... She is a coworker and is also married and they had started an emotional affair before I got pregnant.. So much makes sense to me now and im even more crushed I think about all Ive been through and for what!!!!! For this woman to tell my husband how horrible her marriave is and how she wants nothing just out of tbe marriave and claims how much she likes my husband and then her hubby finds out about him and she drops my husband!! Im disgusted and fe so lost.. I cant even speak to him rt now..For tbe first time ever I truely dont want to be with him... Im forever changed im so lost and dont know what to do or how to move on or how to let it go my family is over and its the worst feeling in the world.... Ive gave up so much of me for him and I dont even know who I am anymore.......

[Yoda]

I am so sorry. I wish I could offer advice but I have none.

[Leed]

Bless your heart -- You are STILL the wonderful mother, great woman that you ALWAYS were!!! Do NOT let him take away your POWER. Don't let that happen because if you do, then he will WIN. Take your power BACK. You are beautiful, you are a strong woman! Look at what you've done! You've raised 3 beautiful daughters all by yourself and stayed sane! Do you have ANY idea how hard that is to do?? I'm sure you do, but I'm not sure you really understand how important it is to be both mother AND FATHER to these girls! You've given them everything -- all that you have to help them grow up moral, decent girls. That's an incredible responsibility and you've done it! All by yourself. You are incredibly STRONG.

Now you have to STAY strong so you can show him that you don't NEED a man to be a successful woman. You don't need HIM or anyone else! He's a LOSER. He can't be loyal or truthful to anyone. Not even to himself -- and that's no MAN.

So don't give him your power. Don't grieve over this "man" -- you can grieve over the time that you lost because of him but don't grieve for HIM. He isn't worth it, my friend. The next woman who gets stuck with him will need your grief. My prayers are with you dear one, and if you ever want to talk, please message me. I'll be there for you. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[optimize990h]

Well Black Tears, it sounds horrible what happened to you and your husband is poster boy for bad word, bad word people.

Please come back here at PC and the members will offer you support or feedback. Post whatever you need to express.

I can't say enough or find the words to what you went through, but continue to post whenever you need to. When you are ready, you can ask for support or feedback specific to what you are needing.

A therapist would be someone who could help you start healing. That's something to think about when you think it's time to find one.