Interesting article

I came across this web site with some pretty wise advice for those of us who are going through this difficult time.

Coping with a Breakup or Divorce: Moving on After a Relationship Ends

Here's a sneak peak...

Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.

Talk about how you’re feeling – Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. Journaling can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings.

Remember that moving on is the end goal – Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger, and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward.

Remind yourself that you still have a future – When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. It’s hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.

Know the difference between a normal reaction to a breakup and depression – Grief can be paralyzing after a breakup, but after a while, the sadness begins to lift. Day by day, and little by little, you start moving on. However, if you don’t feel any forward momentum, you may be suffering from depression.

Are these the types of things, you were looking for, in books from your other thread?

Kind of. I was specifically looking for information on living this situation with a depressed person. I ended up finding a book called "On Your Own Again" which clarified things.

The author had an interesting insight; when you lose a partner, you grieve the loss of that relationship... and since the relationship is lost, your partner/ex becomes irrelevant in the process. You now deal with this on your own and for yourself.

That helped me distance myself from her a bit and just stop worrying so much about what she's going through and why she did it.

It is a great article. Thanks for sharing! Since this thread is started with Interesting Article, I hope you don't mind, if I share this one?

I found it last night. Falls in line with Divorce and Separation. (the site does have a rel/spiritual title, but the article itself, is far removed from that)Hara Marano wrote this piece for Psychology Today where she’s editor at large, after attending the 1999 Smart Marriages conference.

DIVORCED? Don’t Remarry Until You Read This : Marriage Missions International

That's a good one too. I recently heard some perspective on this from Joe Rogan. He's not everyone's cup of tea, but he has insight I appreciated.

He raised a good point, about becoming 'addicted' to one another in relationships, as he was explaining how hard it was to move on.

Which brings me to another, interesting article.

Love addiction -- how to break it - CNN.com

That's an interesting one. I think it's even trickier to let go when there are kids involved, which would make it strange seeing as breaking an addiction involves complete withdrawal.

Yeah, it does get trickier. It's like breaking the addiction, but being forced to work in the same environment because the courts don't allow parental alienation and you still have to ensure that the children see the other parent.

Like being a recovered alcoholic, working as a bartender/barkeep.