[Sigirl4evr]

I have went out on a few dates with different men. Well starting out I told myself I was just going to date that is all. Well one of the guys wanted a second date. I still wasn't sure if we had that much in common. But went out on a second and third date. We really had a lot of fun. Then he explains he has a doctor's appointment. It is something very serious, he said they gave him medication to take for 2 weeks and in 3 weeks he will go back for a biopsies. The medication they put him on made him very sick. He quick taking it and called the doctor back and explained he couldn't take it. They never called him back so he started taking it again and it done the same thing to him. Still has not heard from the doctor. Set up an appointment with a new doctor on Tuesday of this week. The last day I talked to him he was sick, didn't want to talk to anyone and he wanted to be well. I explained I would not bother him but I would like to know how he is doing. I would not feel like this wouldbe a problem, but I didn't take this dating seriously for about 3 weeks. If I could answer my phone I would but if I couldnt I didn't. And he kept telling me I was being mean to him. I explained my work and if I can answer I will. When I'm at home I answer. And I also explained if someone shows me they want me in their life for the right reason then I will show some caring in there. Well he is a very nice person seems to know how to treat women. I made sure I answer his calls when called. And now I don't hear anything. Please give advice. Call and check on him or let him call. But if I was interested in someone would you call and let them know what the new doctor said. It is just driving me crazy. Thanks for any kind of in put you can give me.

[sideblinded]

Well you asked for an opinion and that is what I have. I would wait a while and let him call. If you have to be on eggshells that is not healthy. If it is meant to be it will be. Be calm and be patient. Just give it a little rest.

[Sigirl4evr]

I did what you suggested, I waited a while and I called him. He had been meaning to call me and he was going to call. I said that is OK I know I'm at the bottom of your list. He stated he had cancer and he is going to have to have treatments and he is moving back in with his exwife. So there is my answer to not hearing from him. I see it like this better to know now than to get really close to him and he decides this. I really feel bad he is sick but wy wouldn't you move in with family instead of with exwife. But not my problem at this point. Just look forward and don't look back.

I understand that you really like this guy and would like to stay informed.

As much as I agree with your perspective, it helps to try to put yourself in his shoes. Maybe he's going through a really tough time right now, maybe he is talking to NO ONE, not even his closest friends or family. And, maybe he needs his space, which includes not needing to give anyone updates about his condition.

I think it is too soon in the relationship for you to be overly concerned about him and/or the fact that he hasn't called. If I were you, I would just give him his time and space, and move on, trying to keep an open mind. Dating is like a tennis match. The ball has to be hit back n forth. If you have hit the ball to his court, let him hit it back.

The harsh reality is, no matter what a magical connection you think you may have with him, he may not call back. People will do what people wanna do.

I had a similar experience - first date was AWESOME, sparks flying everywhere, I even saw wedding bells ringing in the distance and a lot of "what if" - she stayed out late with me and even drank with me. That was the end of that ! I never heard back from her, and was left wondering why. I now know the answer ... one word ... "because".

Hope this helps. For your sake, please don't get too vested in this person. I don't want you to get disappointed and hurt.

I wish you the very best.

Originally Posted by Sigirl4evr

I did what you suggested, I waited a while and I called him. He had been meaning to call me and he was going to call. I said that is OK I know I'm at the bottom of your list. He stated he had cancer and he is going to have to have treatments and he is moving back in with his exwife. So there is my answer to not hearing from him. I see it like this better to know now than to get really close to him and he decides this. I really feel bad he is sick but wy wouldn't you move in with family instead of with exwife. But not my problem at this point. Just look forward and don't look back.

Oh, whoops ! I didn't see your second post in response to the first.

Ok, there you go ! You can move on, knowing it's for the best

[Sigirl4evr]

Originally Posted by lilodian4ever

I understand that you really like this guy and would like to stay informed.

As much as I agree with your perspective, it helps to try to put yourself in his shoes. Maybe he's going through a really tough time right now, maybe he is talking to NO ONE, not even his closest friends or family. And, maybe he needs his space, which includes not needing to give anyone updates about his condition.

I think it is too soon in the relationship for you to be overly concerned about him and/or the fact that he hasn't called. If I were you, I would just give him his time and space, and move on, trying to keep an open mind. Dating is like a tennis match. The ball has to be hit back n forth. If you have hit the ball to his court, let him hit it back.

The harsh reality is, no matter what a magical connection you think you may have with him, he may not call back. People will do what people wanna do.

I had a similar experience - first date was AWESOME, sparks flying everywhere, I even saw wedding bells ringing in the distance and a lot of "what if" - she stayed out late with me and even drank with me. That was the end of that ! I never heard back from her, and was left wondering why. I now know the answer ... one word ... "because".

Hope this helps. For your sake, please don't get too vested in this person. I don't want you to get disappointed and hurt.

I wish you the very best.

Thank you for your response. I really don't want to hear back from him. Yes just to see how he is feeling and know that he will be OK. But as far as friends hanging out. nope to much has happened and I already have too people in my past to want more peoeple like this in my future. but again your reply did help and made me think of things little didderent. Thank again.