[Strawberry123]

I've left my husband after 15 yrs of domestic violence. Was diagnosed with m.s 2 yr ago. The abuse wasn't alot 15-20 times. It was getting better. The for some reason 9mths b4 we split he started to go downhill. Yelling at me in the car, sleeping on the couch ect. Anyway he went after my oldest son drunk one nite. I got in the middle he thru me to the ground my son put him down on the ground and held him there until my father rescued us, and my 3 boys. I commiserated with my best friend who was also having a problem with her husband. She had me do things that made him madder at me. Then she 'fell off' the face of the planet. I found out 1 and 1/2 mnths ago that they're now dating. It's been 7mnths since the split. I'm seeing 2 therapists. But they won't give me a timeline on the grieving process. I still feel as raw as when the split 1st happened, and when I found out about the 2 of them. When will this go away. And when will the 2 of theem being together lose it's ability to hurt me. I'm desperate please help.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Strawberry123: I'm sorry you find yourself in this most difficult situation. I'm afraid there is not much I could offer with regard to this. However, I'm sure you will be able to find other members, here on PC, who will. Anyway.. welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

[healingme4me]

Sounds utterly dreadful. To have your friend betray you. Could take time to grieve. I've yet to ever see concrete time frames, yet, time is a healer. Your post doesn't mention if you've also taken steps towards divorce? That, too, compounds the grieving. How's your son after being attacked? Were the police involved? Will they both need to resolve this together with a counselor?

Are you and your sons safe now?

Welcome to PC

[Curry]

Hi Strawberry123

On Dec 31 I went for lunch with my boyfriend and ran in to my ex and his girlfriend. Sounds fine doesn't it. Except his girlfriend had been his mistress for six years. So what is the timeline for grief and betrayal and how do you feel better?

I admitted I got royally screwed over and that helped. Over the past year I have been remembering all the ways my ex abused me mentally and emotionally mostly and sometimes physically. I got in to a habit of being angry and of adding to the drama he brought. It felt good to admit that I didn't always act with dignity towards him. And then, the best thing in my life is letting myself chose not to be part of someone else's crazy feelings and behavior. I take a walk when he gets going when he visits me, and I give myself a break when I try to figure out how he could do things, like analyse me with his mistress and come home and tell me what was wrong with me when we were married. Life is really nice without a person who hurts you.