I Think I Learned Too Late:

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023, 05:27 AM

Wow, what a long day. I woke up at 3am and decided to go back to sleep.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023, 09:14 AM

Lessons learned.

I'm more than one person's opinion of me

I have more potential than i ever imagined

I am blessed far more than i originally thought

Open Eyes · Aug 27, 2023, 10:56 AM

Determining your value by asking others if you are good enough is not going to give you your true worth. Instead it gives others way too much power and is actually what attracts narcissistic people to you to suck you into servicing their needs and becoming their enabler and codependent.

JustTotallyLost · 12:21 PM

@Open Eyes: Did i tell you about the girl i met at Taco Bell 33 years ago???

Well, i found her living here in SoCal.

Open Eyes · Aug 27, 2023, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustTotallyLost

@Open Eyes: Did i tell you about the girl i met at Taco Bell 33 years ago???

Well, i found her living here in SoCal.

Yes, you said you were going to meet her for dinner. Did you do that yet?

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes, you said you were going to meet her for dinner. Did you do that yet?

We haven't met up yet, but we message everyday.

Yesterday, she sent me a message that made my knees buckle, but not in the way you think

I've only sent her prayers, healing affirmation videos and encouraging texts.

Last night, I sent her this:

"You are such an amazing person. I want you to know that. Blessings be upon you tonight."

She replied thusly:

"Thank you Robert, you're uplifting and loyal 🙏"

The fact she somehow referenced or saw loyalty in me touched me in the deepest part of my soul.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023, 05:24 PM

I can't explain any of this.

Open Eyes · Aug 27, 2023, 06:01 PM

What are you trying to explain?

JustTotallyLost · 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

What are you trying to explain?

How she somehow saw loyalty in me from just a week or so of us messaging.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023, 07:12 PM

I sent her this 5 minutes ago....

My thoughts about you as I'm waiting to get my hair cut....

She speaks with her heart,

A splendid language nobody else knows,

But i can understand it,

She sees life in vibrant color,

She smiles with a warmth like the sun,

Her voice is like the rushing wind,

Her spirit can be felt across many miles,

She is a mix of such simple yet splendid complexities,

To know her, even across the vast expanse of so many miles, is to feel her touch your soul,

She is love, life, and music,

She is a rare flower in a desert of mediocrity,

An amazing soul who can captivate me with a single word,

You are the most beautiful mystery i have ever experienced... ❤️

JustTotallyLost · Aug 27, 2023, 08:27 PM

So, @Open Eyes, how are you doing tonight????

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 03:56 AM

Today was a good day...

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 09:58 AM

And today, I'm totally overwhelmed

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 10:00 AM

I'm so exhausted of being on this roller coaster.

Open Eyes · Aug 28, 2023, 11:54 AM

Ok, this means you need to identify what is triggering you to feeling good and then feeling unsafe or low.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Ok, this means you need to identify what is triggering you to feeling good and then feeling unsafe or low.

Well, not being able to purchase a home on my own income is frustrating.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 01:03 PM

I'm trying to think positively, but its tough with so much going on in my head.

Open Eyes · Aug 28, 2023, 01:19 PM

Understand, yet now the realestate market is extremely inflated especially in CA. Add to that the challenge you have where properties you contributed to financially were put in someone else’s name so you were basically just paying rent and have not built equity

So now you are facing challenges, yet you are not alone with this as many do not invest in property ownership and just rent.

My daughter bought her first home where she was able to rent the lower level and that helped pay the mortgage. She also rented a bedroom with shared use of kitchen and bath and living room. Again that helped with the mortgage. She eventually sold that home because of how great the market got for sellers.

Now you are going to learn how you can do fine in an efficiency so maybe you can look into a property that you can rent to art of it to pay the mortgage. You have to establish more credit yet and try and save as much as you can.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Understand, yet now the realestate market is extremely inflated especially in CA. Add to that the challenge you have where properties you contributed to financially were put in someone else’s name so you were basically just paying rent and have not built equity

So now you are facing challenges, yet you are not alone with this as many do not invest in property ownership and just rent.

My daughter bought her first home where she was able to rent the lower level and that helped pay the mortgage. She also rented a bedroom with shared use of kitchen and bath and living room. Again that helped with the mortgage. She eventually sold that home because of how great the market got for sellers.

Now you are going to learn how you can do fine in an efficiency so maybe you can look into a property that you can rent to art of it to pay the mortgage. You have to establish more credit yet and try and save as much as you can.

Fortunately, my credit score is in the high 800's and I have zero debt.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 05:38 PM

Ok, so I am truly a bundle of emotions here of late.

Open Eyes · Aug 28, 2023, 05:42 PM

That’s good 🥰. See if you can conserve and save enough for a down payment on a property you can have a part you can rent. Idk much about CA realestate other than it’s very expensive in some areas. Saving as much as you can may even end up where you move to another state.

Keep an open mind. 😉

JustTotallyLost · Aug 28, 2023, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

That’s good 🥰. See if you can conserve and save enough for a down payment on a property you can have a part you can rent. Idk much about CA realestate other than it’s very expensive in some areas. Saving as much as you can may even end up where you move to another state.

Keep an open mind. 😉

It's tough. The cost of living is ludicrous!!!!

Now, having said that, I've been to areas where the cost of living was lower and I wasn't happy with the amenities.

I loved Charleston South Carolina.

Open Eyes · Aug 28, 2023, 06:56 PM

Yes, cost of living is very high but in some states people are fed up and are moving to other states. Minimum wage gets raised but cost of living goes up so no getting ahead for those individuals.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 29, 2023, 09:08 AM

I lay In my bed on the floor, missing my home, my backyard, my bird feeders, having someone curl up next to you at night, being comfortable, u guess I'm missing a lot of things...

Open Eyes · Aug 29, 2023, 12:36 PM

The problem with what you just stated along with what you have shared is that which you deemed as your home was not. Instead it’s in your wife’s name and she sees it as hers. And she doesn’t cuddle with you, that’s an illusion. Instead she is cold and distant in her own world using you to pay bills on HER home.

Can you see this reality? You miss the illusion.

You have said how you saw things as joint/together owned. Well, that’s not how your wife sees it.

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