[lynn P.]

Hi after 28 yrs. of marriage and 2 girls ages 7 & 11 my husband (who is muslim) decided to marry another woman (in a religous sense). He dropped this bomb on me 3 yrs. ago. I'm a stay at home mom and cannot afford to divorce and live on my own and support the kids. He doesn't want to divorce because of the children. We are also in a very bad financial situation. Since I found out we are civil and sleep in separate rooms. If I were to win the lottery and had financial independence I would divorce him and just remain civil for the childrens sake. What a complicated mess right! Initially I was devistated and felt like I was the only one. I didn't even tell my own family. I feel like I would need a miracle to sort this out.

[shezbut]

((((hugs))))) to you Lynn!

You can get help for others - depending upon your personal beliefs and whether or not you have support of family or friends.

In my opinion, it is unthinkable that you should have to live in this misery for another 10 years, for the sake of the children. Your children can pick up on your misery now. That can be rather painful and confusing for them. Please reach out for help to family, friends, and/or government assistance. I wish that I new of programs up there, but I don't. Hopefully, someone who does will respond to your post.

I wish you the very best !

Shez

[lynn P.]

Thanks to Shez,
you're right about the children being able to pick up on my mood. When it first happened they could feel that Mommy was sad. But after 3 yrs. I went through the mourning stage of the relationship. I don't live with the hope of ever getting back to the way things used to be. In my mind I don't consider him my husband and we don't sleep together. At least I don't have to lower myself in that way. If I were to divorce him or force him to move out now, then it would plunge me and the children into a poverty situation. After 3 years I do my very best at managing my emotions and thank God my girls are smart very well adjusted kids. He is to his credit a loving father. Anyway, thanks for the note you seem like a nice person.