Hello All!

Where to begin?
If my post goes random at some points, I'm sorry. I'm still collecting my thoughts on my marriege.
My husband and I have been together going on 10 years.
Just resently, since I started my university studies, it dawned on me that my husband has been emotionally abusing me for 10 years. Well I can't say all of our relationship has been emotionally bad.
For over a year now, I have been debating on leaving him. I'm to stubbern headed to give up on him thou. The old fashioned death due you part keeping on running in my head..grr!
In Dec I started my university studies and asked him for some input..I should of known better then to ask him. He never gives it. I know I'm not perfect and have my own personal problems and have been dealing with my problems all my life.
I told him that we need marriege counseling and he agreed to go. But yet he has no input to give the counselor? In one of the meetings alone with the counselor I told her ALL the problems we have going on. She told me I'm being emotionally abused. It finally hit me! I then proclaimed to my husband that if things don't change I need to live. And that I'm taking emotionally abused classes. As you can imagine..poo hit the fan.
At first he told me he was joking about a lot of the things he was saying to me. Two days later he texts me, "I cried today, after I had time to think about it. I became my father! I'm so sorry. Can you ask to see if they have classes for males that emotionally abuse?"

Now I'm stuck in a bit of a position. 10 years and he wants to change? How long should I give him? How long do I wait to see some kind of change?

What to do?

Sorry for the long post!
Mystical Moon

MysticalMoon,
You did a very good job of sharing with us...thank you.

Jmo, if you are willing to give it some time and he is willing to try and change then it may be worth it--counseling, etc..
If it doesn't work out you will at least know that you gave it an honest effort.

On the other hand, though, if you know in your heart that you are ready to move on then do it.
It sounds like you have a good counselor. I hope you get the guidance you need to make a focused decision.

My best wishes to you,
Cap

Thank you Cap!
I have another counselors meeting tomarrow (Monday). This time I will ask the same questions as I have posted here.
Just a little confused on the "wait and see" time.

Thank you again!

Mystical Moon

Very interesting...

This may be the beginning of a divorce.
I went to the therapists today. She has been my best friend. I lost all mine a while back (thanks to the hubby). And she told me to give him till Apirl and see if there is any changes.
He texted me a few minutes ago, stating he just wont to be married to a shrink. ok? So that pretty much means me. I'm trying to become a psychologist.. hello?
He also told me that he wants to change, become the husband and the father my girls need. But yet, he threw this out?
Deep down inside, I think he freaking cause he likes the control. And his world just got rocked. In a small way I'm thinking about time your world got rock, mine has been rocked so many times, when is it your turn?

I will keep you all posted on what is going on.

Thank you, MysticalMoon, for sharing with us.

Jmo, but in your post today you sound more focused and determined and sure of yourself...

Cap

i wish my wife had your mentallity.....i emotionally abused her for some time....and i think she kept "hanging out" with guys to see who else wanted her.....she gave up on me i think.....but i changed