T told me...

Wish it was that easy to just stop because of blood. I've struggled with EDs since I was 12. I was diagnosed with bulimia and went to treatment and had periods of "normal eating" (whatever that is ?) But now at 28 I have a stomach ulcer and jacked up teeth, my body is messed up from lax, I have injuries that don't heal because of over exercising and yet I'm overweight. I've been both underweight and obese, all while bulimic. EDs suck and are not about the food/weight.

Thanks for all of your support everyone.

That is exactly what my T said. They are about control and autonomy...

Today when I saw my T, one of her suggestions for me to do right before I feel like I am going to go make myself puke is to jump on my tippytoes! She actually said this. "I want you to jump on your tippytoes instead of making yourself sick. Just start jumping away, Atleast it will definitley ground you which is something that you need when you are going through that because that is when you are trying to avoid your feelings the most and dissociating" So guess what I did tonight? I jumped on my tippytoes. Lol. Oh T, I don't know where she comes up with her ideas...

she's a genius! lol

Oh I almost forgot!! After I jumped on my tippytoes tonight I didn't make myself puke! Yay! I guess maybe I should change my name to PTSDbunny temporarily. Lol.

Thanks, I don't know about a genius but definitely very creative!! Dr. Muffin have you ever heard of doing anything like this or similar in hopes of reducing induced vomiting??

cats it sounds like you are going through so much.sening you hugs.i think it is great when T think to try something outside the box.i hope it helps

((((((((((((cats))))))))))))

If you are purging so often that you are throwing up blood, perhaps it's time to consider inpatient care.

I have a friend who knows someone who died years ago from her esphagus abruptly rupturing when she was purging. Eating disorders are not something to take lightly...they can be a matter of life and death. I know how hard it is to just "stop", because I suffered from EDs for years.

I don't mean to be scary, but I'm surprised your T isn't taking it more seriously. I feel worried for you

no, not specifically for preventing vomiting. but if you subscribe to the idea that the behavior is a form of dissociation (not everyday dissociation, but that which comes about as a trauma reaction) and if you also believe the brain research that indicates that there are certain areas of the brain that sort of shut down during that type of dissociation, which cannot remain shut down if you are engaging the balance areas of the brain....then yes, that would make perfect sense!

although, if you dont really subscribe to such ideas and you are just looking for a way to have a person distract themselves, then it still makes perfect sense! lots of people view eating disorders (and disordered eating) through the lens of addiction. and one of the concepts that is really helpful to people in addiction is that the craving only lasts 30 seconds unless you entertain it and lose yourself to it. so, doing that behavior where your mind is occupied with, "oh. em. gee. this is so silly! i cant believe im doing this!" means that its not occupied with that really strong urge to vomit.

either way though, i always think being creative like this is genius!

Thanks Granite

(((((Treehouse))))) Thanks so much for your concern, She is taking it serious but I don't think that she thinks that it is bad enough for inpatient care yet. I do trust her judgement though because she used to run an eating disorder inpatient/outpatient clinic in another hospital before she relocated. Thanks again,

I am concerned about this too.....throwing up blood sounds like a big deal to me too!
I understand the struggle with EDs too, having done the over-control thing with restriction and exercise for years as well, so know it isn't easily stopped......serious help is needed! I am worried about you too, PTSD!
However, I am glad the tippy toe thing helped.....

Dr.Muffin, thanks for all of your input. -Yea, I guess I agree with you. She is a genius...

Thanks Poetgirl. I am sure that if it gets to the point where I need inpatient care my Pdoc will let me know. I have faith in her judgement with this...

I am glad you do have faith in her judgment......

Thanks Poetgirl.

............More jumping on tippytoes after my friend took me out for dinner tonight...

did it keep you from throwing up this time, too? I hope so......

thinking of you ptsd...

YES! It did! She is very pleased with me since I have told her this.

Thanks Lastyearisblank.

Saw T again today. She now has me takinig an assortment of vitamins and supplements to make up for the nutrients that I am not getting...

I find it so frustrating that about 4 yrs ago eating wasn't a problem for me. It was an everyday activity. Now it has become like pulling teeth for me!

just wanted to send some hugs cats.dont know what i can say but big hugs.