how does treatment work?

I'm not ready for treatment maybe? I started treatment a while back, I did feel I was being pushed into it from my Pdoc and T. So I tried to take a giant leap and just do it. But I'm finding it difficult to even try to get the brain to want to keep on track.

What is holding me back, is the wanting to get better part. It would be nice to be free from it all. But it just isn't enough for me. And I don't know what would be enough. My life, my kids, these things should be enough right? Have I been ill for far too long? I've overcome numerous addictions in my life, but this which feels much like an addiction in ways, I just can't get a grasp on.

The treatment has not been of much help to me, and honestly I don't know if it ever will be. So where do you go from here? I don't know.

So how does the treatment work, or how does one work the treatment?

I just wanted to say I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. How long have you been in treatment for? It takes a long time to try and get the brain on the right track.

I've only been in treatment since October. I know it's not long. I feel like I've been waiting for something to click you know. The first time I saw an eating disorder therapist was when I was five. My father almost died, and my home was abusive and chaotic. Which propelled me into restriction for a sense of control. So I'm 33 now, I guess I can't expect a life time of this thinking to be undone in a quick fashion. I'm just worried it might never happen.

I feel like I have a lot of insight into why I do what I do. But it's become so ingrained in me, part of who I am , I know it's not but it's pretty wound up in there. Like what is life like with out it, I don't know.

For some people it takes longer or it takes a specific event (or scare) that really shocks them into the reality of what they are doing to themselves. For me, it was my husband (at the time) telling me he was ready to leave me if I didn't seek treatment.

Good for you for reaching out and trying to get treatment - kuddos on that one! It's a big (and scary) step!

What treatment are you in now? Counseling? Inpatient? Are you seeing a nutritionist? Please don't let it get that far.

Thanks Doggiedo,

I'm in outpatient counseling at an Ed clinic, I also see a dietician at the hospital once a week. I was terrified to start, but it's been ok. I just haven't made any improvements, aside from being more open and honest. Maybe if I just keep at it. I guess I have noticed one improvement, with yoga, being surrounded by mirrors, sometimes I notice my brain saying things like " it's ok because we are all a different shape". Maybe that's a small start even if the thoughts don't stay long?

Anika - I just finished inpatient and there they told me that the brain changes 6-months to one year AFTER the last ED behavior (b/p or restricting). I didn't like hearing that at first cuz it seemed like such a long time, but I'm starting to think that at least my brain can heal and be normal, which like you, I thought may never happen.

Anika- Not sure how to answer but through I would say something. guess my life had to be saved for the sake of my grandchildren. Think god for that cuz can't imagine there life without me. It took everything i had to get a better me and to this day it's a challenge. Good luck never give up..