[whoswho]

Just doing the whole post-binge blame-and-shame routine...

[lbdrox]

Originally Posted by whoswho

Just doing the whole post-binge blame-and-shame routine...

feel better!

[AngelWolf3]

Hope that you are doing better today....?

[Gr3tta]

i think i hate food because i secretly love it.
very sorry you're in that place. i know how awful it is.
could you limit your binge opportunities by taking a limited amount of food to work/school/library/mall/park, and no money, while drinking lots of water and/or sports drinks? then even if you b/p later, you've got a little nutrition and more importantly hydration on board. might make you feel a little better physically even if not mentally.

[whoswho]

I had about 18 months "clean" of b/p (with the occasional screw ups) but officially relapsed in early October. I feel stupid complaining because I was the one who chose to go back to it... I made my bed and now it's time I lie in it, right?

I just hate binging. If I could just restrict and purge and do everything else without the binging that would be perfectly fine with me. It's that loss of self-control that I just can't stand. I do try to limit what I eat but now it's the Christmas season so food is everywhere. Well, food is everywhere in Europe, but now it's especially everywhere.

I have always thought that if I could just take nutrition supplements and vitamins all the time that would keep me at a healthy weight and never eat again, I would totally do it. Because I can't eat in moderation like a "normal" person. I love food too much -- which is why I hate it! I can never control myself!

[Gr3tta]

i think i get how you feel. i don't know when i've ever eaten "normally." i feel like a powerhouse when i'm restricting, but binging makes me feel disgusting. so often i try to just eat a normal size meal, but then i start feeling guilty, so i want to purge it. then i figure if i'm going to purge anyways, i might as well make it worth my while. (because secretly i was probably planning to binge all along, in spite of myself.)
the best thing i know to do to combat it is to limit my own access to food. but then i get stuck limiting my food less, and less, and less, and that's not a good solution either!