Should I seek help for my daughter?

I posted a thread in the healthy parenting forum but got little response, so I thought I would post here.

My daughter just turned 12 and weighs a healthy weight for her height and age and all. However she thinks she is fat. This is not the first time she has made comments about being fat. She has made them since she was about 8 or 9. Saying things like she has fat thighs, she has a fat belly, etc. Knowing that I have anorexia, I want to put a stop to this as soon as possible. She knows that I have been hospitalized twice for it and has asked me a few questions. I have always told her that she is beautiful and that she is not fat at all. I should also mention that she is a dancer, so she has that to deal with too. Her father used to call me fat and I am afraid that he has started in on her. I really don't know what to do. She is starting to be a picky eater and will eat only when she feels like it, sometimes she doesn't eat dinner. I don't want to force her to eat, but I also don't want her to think that it is ok to not eat. Any thoughts on if I should try and get her into therapy now or if I should wait til she shows more signs?

Find a IFS family therapist and go as a family. Her issues stem from you and her environment. Nip this in the butt before it gets out of control.

I think it's a really good idea to seek help for your daughter and it's great that you're concerned and looking out for her now rather than waiting for problems to develop. Good luck!

I also think it would be good to be open & honest about your anorexia...not just answer a few questions if she asks. Also think that therapy is a good idea so that the information won't be coming JUST FROM YOU.

If she doesn't see the really bad things involved in it & the reality of what you have gone through & are going through, she much just see a fantasy view of it through her own eyes.

There is a book by Janet Treasure called 'Anorexia - a survival guide for families..'

It's on amazon and very informative on prevention and support for YOU as well about ED's

All the best x

While you seek therapy for her. I would have her sit at dinner with the family. Pick up V8 splash, if she wants the low cal let her. Have her drink 8 oz before school and 8 oz before bed, and a Greek yogurt at dinner.

She's a child it's not up to her to make her own decisions. My son was a follow he did the same thing i got help he got help you.. I would make her sit at dinner. Once she turns 18 she can make her own decisions.

This is a tough one. But I will say first of all that I admire you seeking help for your daughter. My parents kind of just shamed me for my ED when I was younger, which of course only fuelled it.
I agree with everything that's being said here. It makes me sad that young people have to go through this, but when I think back to when I was ten and eleven (and even younger than that) girls were already on diets, already trying to lose weight. I think our society is just sick when it comes to the standards it imposes, on anyone, not just women.
You're right that it doesn't help that she's a dancer. That can be one of the worst environments for a young girl because there will be pressure all around to 'lose weight' and stay at a 'low weight' especially if she wants to go professional. Hopefully you can help her build some strength and discernment so that she can take parts of it (ie. keep her body healthy rather than lose weight) and leave the rest.
I so hope it works out and I'd love to see updates as to how she's doing. I really, really, really hope it doesn't escalate for her.

Perhaps a little heart to heart with your husband wouldn't hurt either. It is not helping if he is passing comments to her they way he did with you. This can be very damaging.