[Karrebear]

I am feeling the need to restrict to get my weight loss started. I told myself that I can go back to my therapist if I lose 10 lbs. I want to start eating healthy but feeling like that it will jump start things if I restrict for a few days

My thinking is so messed up

[Victoria'smom]

Well, do you have a therapist appointment soon?

[Karrebear]

No I want to lose weight first.

[wiltedxdaisy]

Why do you feel the need to lose weight before you can your therapist? If you feel like they will judge you, that is not going to happen. Eating Disorders come in all shapes and sizes, and I understand not feeling like going out when I'm not feeling very good about myself, but you need to take care of yourself. If you want to learn how to eat healthy, I would recommend seeing a nutritionist. If you can't, remember, baby steps. Try to increase you calories a bit more for a few days to a week, and then up them again. Please get to your therapist and tell him/her how you are feeling. Recovery IS worth it and it IS possible. Have hope.

[precious things]

I completely understand this line of thinking but this is all eating disorder brain talking!!! Think of what you are saying "I need to look sicker to get help" have you get heard of a schizophrenic say they need more hallucinations before try are worthy of seeking help? It sounds absurd- does one have to suffe x amount before being worthy?

It has been my experience that you will never feel like you look whatever part you have in your head that feels worthy....help from a therapist doesn't come pouring in because you look one way or another....it's such an illusion and a lie we tell ourselves. What you need emotionally has nothing, absolutely NOTHING to do with how your body looks.

[eskielover]

Why can't you go to your T while you are loosing the 10 lbs?.....who knows, maybe your T can help you with the weight loss you seem to want.

Don't know where your weight is in the first place.....if you are already underweight or close to it......then you have a more serious problem then if you are just wanting to loose some weight to feel better & be more healthy........

Not provided really enough information to comment on your situation with an educated answer.

[spondiferous]

I do that about everything. In my head I'm too fat to go to school, too fat to get married (which I just did, last weekend), too fat to have friends, too fat to have family, too fat to leave my house. It never ends. I understand the mechanism behind it but challenge it if you can...it sounds like you could really use that T right now instead of 10 pounds down the road (for support).

[Karrebear]

I am over weight. I was in treatment almost 5 years ago and for the most part "recovered" but the voice of ED has never left. Its just super easy to not listen to it and not give it a second thought. I have put on weight over the years because I realized I didn't like torturing myself like I used to do and...I kinda just let myself go

I took a break from therapy about a month ago and have been feeling way low since. Im not sure if its from leaving therapy itself, or not having someone to talk to, or the job position change, or what. Doesn't matter. What I feel self-conscious about is that..Im ashamed to say that I have gained a bit since I started therapy again last april. I do not want T to notice if she didn't while I was in therapy. I know she won't say anything, or probably even **** two sh!ts about it, but I will know and I feel ashamed

I have the weight to lose. I just want to feel normal again

[eskielover]

Honestly, it's better to go back to therapy & have T to talk to....sounds like you had a good relationship......& I know for me that leaving Therapy after so long (which I did for almost 2 years until I could find someone after I left my H & moved 2100 miles away to where I didn't know anyone). I realize now just how much I need the support even though I do have friends now which I never had before.....having someone who I can talk about anything with is more valuable that we know.....& it also might help you to understand what what you might think is overweight may just be within the very normal range & not overweight at all.