[yellowseal33]

hey guys. ive been dealing with annorexia for about a year now, and use to only eat 400 calories a day..but now ive come out of that and am eating. Expect, i keep binging, and can't stop it, and i'm gainging weight which is ok at the moment cause im not over weight...but im scared ill never be able to stop dealing with this. I just want to stop thinking about food, and stop letting it control my life. I see a therapist, and it kinda helps.. but i wanted to know from those who are dealing/dealt with on any advice you guys have, because you know how it feel. thanks alot. take care!

[Sailaway]

Bingeing to you may be different from the real definition of bingeing. Talk to your therapist maybe keep a food journal to share with her. I only say that because when I think I binge it's usually whaht everyone else deems a normal meal. I wish I could help you take that control you so desperately want and need. Continue fighting and you will be stronger every day. Sometimes when you lose you win

Take care. PM me anytime. I am going through my own issues with food right now and trying to get that control back too. PM me anytime.

~Sailaway

[Perna]

A lot is simply "feelings" and skewed perspective. I weight 265 pounds, am healthy and relatively happy. That's not to say I don't want to lose weight and have my own bad feelings and skewed perspective :-) but just another end of the spectrum. I watch football games and when they give the tackles' weights, I always weigh more. We don't "control" our bodies or feelings, they're there to help us. Usually we're using our heads the wrong way, trying to "control" nature and it doesn't work like that.

I had a wonderful dream several years ago, I had two bags of groceries on the hood of a high, old, farm truck and I picked up one in one arm and went to pick up the other with the other arm and, of course, the first one tilted dangerously. But my body did a balance thing and righted itself so everything was fine, a little like with learning to ride a bicycle, if you remember that experience at all, but what was wonderful about the dream was I felt what happened in my body and recognized that my head had nothing to do with it whatsoever, my body knew what to do and could do it better than "I" could. It didn't need "my" meddling.

We're supposed to eat when we're hungry but we load eating up with all sorts of other gunk, wrong, disproportionate foods and fears and other emotions so the poor body has trouble dealing. Every now and then I talk to my body, ask it what "it" wants, try and get in contact with it like I do with the insides of my head (which is only easier because my head uses words which is what "I'm" accustomed to). I'm getting lots better recently with honoring my body and trying to work "with" it rather than on my own, disregarding it. I was ill this summer and again, like my last illness, humbled by how much my body does for me and how poorly I treat it. It's not an "enemy" it's part of me! I can't divorce myself from it and it doesn't even try to divorce itself from me, it loves me more than I do it. I'm trying to recognize that and become more of a friend and steward to it.

[silver_queen]

Oh I definitely relate to you there yellowseal... I'm not anorexic but I do go through phases lasting several months of restricting a lot, and losing a lot of weight, and being obsessed by what I eat and how many calories etc, but then I always swing out and into overeating and right now I don't even care how much I weigh even though my increased weight is beginning to scare me now and I'm starting to panic a bit about it sigh... and I'm kind of feeling out of control with it . I hope your t will be able to give you tips on how to control your overeating so you can progress on through your life... I personally think though it's your body rebounding on you trying to make up for the time of starvation . Maybe it's good for the body to do, but not good over all

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope you are doing well at this time. There are diets on the American Diabetes Association website for hypoglycemia, and the diet lets you eat more often but smaller meals and this helps to help people with eating disorders fulfill the nutritional obligation without having to eat larger meals. I am going to leave my email address in case you would like to eamil neohiodbsa@yahoo.com Take care sincerely Soidhonia

[Wolf]

Perna, Thank you, I really enjoyed that post of yours. It gave me some healthy ideas to think about : )

This is my first post on a forum ever. I have been struggling with my weight for very many years and with an eating disorder gone chronic for the last four. Ive been in 12 step recovery a lot but am now out of that.

Im really struggling with food and with my feelings. In fact things are a lot better than they were binge-wise but its stil very painful. Im too overweight at the moment (actually, not imaginary!). I put on weight so fast last year that it gave me a heart problem. Im 28 years old! I need to lose the weight ...the doctor told me i seriously need to get it off ...but its immensely difficult. Sometimes i do very well for a month or so but then i always slide back into bingeing and put it all back on.

Ive just realised i am actually really depressed and i need to do something about that. Im very very irritable...loads of moodswings, rage, lots or crying which i cant stop. I chose Wolf as my name becuase i really feel like i am a Lady Werewolf. I never really thought of myself as depressed before but i can see it now. I think there may well be something phsyically wrong....like some kind of hormonal stuff going on, and im sure that all the messing around with sugar is not good either.

I think that i behave very harmfully because i just can't bear my feelings. They are too intense. So it comes out....either i bite someones head off, or i cry innapropriately...or i binge until im really sick. Then i put on weight and then i can't stand being in my swelling body...so i binge some more to drown out the feelings.

I know that i need more help than i am in a position to get right now. I am living in China, in a city where i cant get the support i probably need. I will go back to England in about 6 months, i dearly dearly want to do WHATEVER i can to help myself so that i dont have to give in and go back earlier becuase of some kind of crisis. Becuase i have an amazing life here....theres so much wonderfulness around me. Its a very special opportunity to experience life here. It would be a huge loss if ihad to give all this up too soon.

But im frightened at the moment. I feel like there is no safety in the universe.

Oh. Perhaps i am sounding a bit crazy, i dont know. Perhaps that doesnt matter here...i dont know! I feel embarrassed talking like this into the unknown.

Well...Hello anyway!

Wolf.

(p.s. im sorry- to the person who started this thread by asking for any tips...i didnt really say anything very useful in this post! All i can say right now is - i feel pretty lost too now. But im sending you lots of good wishes for peace and comfort.)