[Splish Splash]

I'd like to ask you for advice. I have a problem with binge eating which started after a period of controlled eating and after I've been for some time in therapy. At first my therapist said we wouldn't talk much about eating. However, at the moment she believes we should work through this issue (and she presses me). So far there were no issues for me in therapy that I could not talk about. Sometimes it was hard but I finally managed that.

However, when I imagine talking about food, I'm terrified. I'm so much ashamed that it is impossible for me at the moment. She asks me what I eat and how much I eat while binging. I think she's still trying to establish why I'm doing that. I'm curious whether there are people who feel similar about this topic. Do you have any advice for me how I could handle it? I'm sure I need to prepare (what I'm going to say), but it's hard to even think of that.

Moreover, I know that I would feel more confident and could handle this topic more easily if I lost my weight. So I decided that I need to control myself again - in this way I'll feel it's "beyond me", as I'm not binging anymore. Though, I know doesn't make any sense and controlling myself again will only mean trying not to admit what my problem is.

Do you have any ideas how I can handle this topic in therapy? What could help?

[Astridetal]

I talked to my former therapis tabout my binge eating a few times. I didn't say how much I ate or what foods I ate. I honestly don't think that's the important part and if your therapist keeps asking you abou thtat and it makes you feel uncomfortable, I'd say you don't want to talk about the numbers/details. It's more important what happens before a binge episode, how you feel about it, what are the consequences, etc. Could you tell your therpaist htat, while you want to work on your binge eaitng, you want to work on what's causing it or contriuting to it. If you want advice on what to eat or how much to eat, you'd go to a dietician.

[Splish Splash]

Originally Posted by Astridetal

I talked to my former therapis tabout my binge eating a few times. I didn't say how much I ate or what foods I ate. I honestly don't think that's the important part and if your therapist keeps asking you abou thtat and it makes you feel uncomfortable, I'd say you don't want to talk about the numbers/details. It's more important what happens before a binge episode, how you feel about it, what are the consequences, etc. Could you tell your therpaist htat, while you want to work on your binge eaitng, you want to work on what's causing it or contriuting to it. If you want advice on what to eat or how much to eat, you'd go to a dietician.

She's trying to establish why I'm doing that. I think she doesn't know how to tackle my problem, as she doesn't know much about it. Personally, I cannot admit I have an eating disorder (I feel huge resistance admitting that). I'm doing different things. Sometimes I control myself, sometimes I eat normally, sometimes I binge. I don't understand this mechanism and she doesn't understand that too (as I'm not talking about it). I know I should talk about it, but I don't know how. Now I'm even more sure I need that, as I can see how much ashamed I feel. I think she's also trying to figure out why I'm so ashamed. Moreover, I think she wants me to see myself true, just as I am. She wants me to admit who I am, what I do, how I behave. I don't accept myself binging, I don't accept myself a weak person. I still try to hide this piece of myself.

[Crazy Hitch]

Honesty from the bottom of my heart does wonders for me in therapy, honestly it does

And I understand your anxiety around going into depth with this topic ... however, somewhere in the back of your mind please remember that your T is a trained professional in this area and does have the knowledge and expertise in order to help you.

I like the way you have been genuine and sincere in this post; and even if you express to your T what you have said here "terrified" .... "ashamed" etc, these are emotions that your T can help you start working on.

Please let us know how you go with your T.

[dontevenknow]

I struggle talking to my T about food as well. I feel very ashamed and judged (although she isn't really a judgey person persay). I especially avoid mentioning specific food/calories. She would say how are you eating and I might say oh not so good. But of course she would always follow up with "what does not so good mean". Ugh. EDs are though my friend. No matter what I am always worried my T thinks I am fat and not thin enough for an Ed, I feel like I am trying to prove myself which is beyond dumb.

[waggiedog]

I sure DO understand where you are at regarding not wanting to go into detail concerning binge behaviours. Very very few people who touch my life have no idea what I'm about, the ones that do think I suffer from depression from time to time and I'm happy to leave it at that. I feel almost unclean about binging, in a world of plenty and starving people, Im abusing food, I feel disgusting TBH. I've had huge issues and more than 30 years and never managed to "cure" it, I mearly go from severe restricting to "normal" eating, then to binging but the latter is not as bad as it once was ~ never the less when I eat anything I feel I shouldnt, I'm angry and fed up. Time spent in psych hospitals has never done anything to address this, having Borderline Personality Disorder comes with the ED territory it seems. You are really NOT alone with this issue for I don't talk about it if I can, possibily avoid it, HUGS. Xxx [/I][/U][/B]