[LucyD]

I've been thinking of lately what kind of example I've been setting for others. Sometimes not such a good one but then who am I to say? Being human sets an example too, doesn't it? We all go through phases in life and we all are on a journey heading somewhere. I'm trying to figure out where I'm going and where I want to be. I am 59 and since I'm older I've been thinking about what I hope to do for the rest of my life. That does not just include how I want to eat but what I really want to do in terms of trying to make a difference some how somewhere.

My B.E.D. made me unable to do much of anything I was so depressed along with it. Now that it is not running my life any more I'm looking to do something that matters.

Originally Posted by LucyD

I've been thinking of lately what kind of example I've been setting for others. Sometimes not such a good one but then who am I to say? Being human sets an example too, doesn't it? We all go through phases in life and we all are on a journey heading somewhere. I'm trying to figure out where I'm going and where I want to be. I am 59 and since I'm older I've been thinking about what I hope to do for the rest of my life. That does not just include how I want to eat but what I really want to do in terms of trying to make a difference some how somewhere.

My B.E.D. made me unable to do much of anything I was so depressed along with it. Now that it is not running my life any more I'm looking to do something that matters.

I know you can.
59 is still young.

you have lots of oppotunity

[LucyD]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

I know you can.
59 is still young.

you have lots of oppotunity

Thanks for your encouragement SS!

well takeout day today.

having some chicken peaces (3), a couple wings and fries

really want a 9 inch pizza, but the way i've been eating the last few days.. probably best if I try to eat something a little smaller

I have just eaten an entire box of after 8 mints

and I was actually doing well today too

[buttrfli42481]

I am allowing myself to slip back into my ED. I had a pb&j today with no plans of eating anything else. I feel so fat.

surrounded by all this junk food.

lots and lots of it

amazing how you just let it all get out of control- and you think you don't have too much left, but you're ordering new stuff all the time to top up the supply as it were.

probably going to be a bad few days

[-Astral-]

Am only wanting to eat fruit or very watery cupa soup today
see my drs today she will weight me again ...i cant tell her i dont want food
she says she cant do anything for me because my bmi is too big
guess how that makes me feel and her weighting me just makes me want to eat nothing

my husband been trying to get me to eat he says i will not gain but i know i will

Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-

Am only wanting to eat fruit or very watery cupa soup today
see my drs today she will weight me again ...i cant tell her i dont want food
she says she cant do anything for me because my bmi is too big
guess how that makes me feel and her weighting me just makes me want to eat nothing

my husband been trying to get me to eat he says i will not gain but i know i will

((((-Asphyxia-))))

you need to eat.

just a little

how are you today?

not good..... not bad.

think i'm somewhere in the middle at the moment

given how much junk food is around me, and given what i've actually eaten of it, it could be worse.

[buttrfli42481]

Have no desire to eat.

eating quite a bit this evening.

pizza, potato chips, candy..

I am not that hungry, at all.

but I am still eating

need to go online and order groceries today.

(after all it is wednesday, time comes around quick)

hopefully will order some actual good stuff, not just junk

[-Astral-]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

((((-Asphyxia-))))

you need to eat.

just a little

how are you today?

he making me eat ...dont want to eat ...going to get bigger
so fat and disgusting
just feel like just having coffee all the time
no food
too fat to eat

Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-

he making me eat ...dont want to eat ...going to get bigger
so fat and disgusting
just feel like just having coffee all the time
no food
too fat to eat

he's just worried about you

he's not trying to punish you, or make you feel upset, he's just worried

I'm sure you can eat a little, if not for him for everyone on this forum.

and getting bigger sucks, yes. I know it causes lots of problems.

but I think with our help you can manage it

(((((hugs))))

I didn't do too well at all yesterday.

I ended up ordering lots more junk, and before it even arived, I filled my bin up with empty packets and sttuff from things I had eaten

and I had my dinner too

[-Astral-]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

he's just worried about you

he's not trying to punish you, or make you feel upset, he's just worried

I'm sure you can eat a little, if not for him for everyone on this forum.

and getting bigger sucks, yes. I know it causes lots of problems.

but I think with our help you can manage it

(((((hugs))))

thank you ((((( hugs )))))
managed breakfast and lunch going to have dinner soon

[buttrfli42481]

I'm running out of food I don't have to actually cook. I have food to cook, just don't have the energy to do so. Add to that ED is back telling me not to eat. This living by myself makes it easier to listen to ED. Not sure what I am going to do. I have no funds to see my dietitian or even the gas to get there.

I'm proud of you for managing some food.

((((hugs))))

I actually have yet to eat anything today (well I had my breakfast, but that isn't enough)

I am binging a lot today.

about the only reason I can find to be alive

[-Astral-]

had breakfast about to have lunch soon which is soup
going to try and hang around here a bit more than the pro ed site am normally hanging about in ...feel fat

[aloneinmusic]

Feeling like a fake. A big fat fake.
I've been crying all evening because I just keep thinking about what if all this weight loss isn't real, what if I actually haven't lost anything, and what if this is it and my entire meaning and purpose in life is gone?

It's pathetic, but losing weight is literally the only purpose I have anymore and the fact that I'm starting to worry that I can't do that...I don't know how I would live with myself. People are always saying it's because there's 'nothing left to lose' but I KNOW there is more, I can feel it, I can see it, I can grab it.

I'm so frustrated and tired and angry and sad and everything else. Why does that little bullying voice have to make everything so damn difficult.

all i've done today is overeat

all i've done, litirally

from the time I got up (about 3 A.M, to now)

sucks big time

[-Astral-]

i dont want to eat too fat to
going to OA tomorrow unsure what they will do
my friend is going with me
my friend also has an eating disorder
its at night as well and we have to go into a creepy graveyard

[buttrfli42481]

Eating for the first time today. It is 6:30pm. Not good.