[doodle]

I am new to these forums, but i'm looking for advice from people other than mental health professionals. I am 46, and my docs think i have anorexia. I am 5'6" and 98 pounds. I know it sounds like i'm very thin, but i've been thin all my life. my parents were thin, and most of my siblings are thin. i have not been 98 in my adult life, but i've never been more than 118, even when i was pregnant. i think it's just the way my body carries weight. i'm seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for depression (bad marriage, emotional abuse i think), and then they started bugging me about anorexia because i lost a few pounds. doesn't just about every woman on the planet want to lose weight anyway? and it's not like i'm emaciated by any means. i'm not 70 pounds, i'm physically healthy, i am able to work out, etc. Does anyone else out there have a similar problem?

[mj14]

doodle, are you trying to lose weight? Do you have any feelings of guilt when you eat? I think the key to deciding whether you have an eating disorder or not is based on your weight, but on your feelings about your weight and food. If your eating is normal, then maybe discussing it more with your therapist will help make him/her realize that.

Another thing that may be contributing is your depression, which can cause people to lose appetite. Again, it's probably a good thing to be as open as possible with your T, since this may be a signal for the state of your depression.

mj

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

[doodle]

mj, thank you for your reply. Yes, I would like to lose more weight, and I've always had a secret wish to weigh less. But nobody has ever said anything to me. If I felt like I couldn't control it, I would probably be more apt to listen to the "experts". I still eat a normal dinner. I haven't lost huge amounts of weight in a very short time. What bothers me is that the doctors want me to go into partial hospitalization at a minimum. They think I should weigh more than i've ever weighed in my life!! If you saw me, you'd probably say I was on the thin side, but definitely not anorexic looking. I'm just frustrated. Have you had any problems (real or imagined) with an ED?

[mj14]

doodle, if you are underweight, which technically you are, and still want to lose weight, that is a very big danger sign for anorexia. Whether you are "anorexic looking" or not doesn't matter. It's how feel about yourself and your body that is the issue. And if your thought patterns are such that you think 98 pounds is too much, then it's something you need to deal with before you get to the point where you have serious health problems.

I do not have anorexia, but I do struggle with a different ED, which I denied for years and years. And I hate thinking of all of the time I wasted on those distorted ED thoughts before I was able to admit the problem.

I hope you can give what your doctors are saying some serious thought. It sounds like they might have reason to be concerned for you.

*hugs*
mj

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

[itsjustme111]

Doodle; I wanted to ask you if you are trying to lose weight? Do you starve yourself or purge after eating? If you are seeing someone now-therapist; ask them what they think. Be honest and maybe they can help. Good luck.
Elizabeth

[doodle]

i am willing to admit that i have a problem with food and how it affects the way i feel about myself. your comment about not having any physical problems yet but still having anorexia is perhaps true. i'm afraid that they won't be satisfied until i really am fat. i saw my therapist today, and i am going to discuss partial hospitalization tomorrow with specialists at an eating disorder clinic kind of nearby. i'm hoping that maybe i can meet with a dietician and just try to follow what that person tells me to see if that will work. i hate this obsession with food, but i don't want to be fat or think i'm fat, and i really don't know how i can give up so much time to be in the hospital! have you ever tried a program that is partial hosp or intensive outpatient?

[ratty]

Hi I am new here, I have only been reading posts I am very interested on the outcome when you talk to the therapist. I am in your shoes too and would never have even mentioned this problem. I am here because of being forced on disability and it has now been two years. Some doctor thought I was anorexic as well. I just let it slide, but now I found out they are charting this and saying I am "anorexic but in denial", knowbody brought it up to me up until 1 month ago, because they thought I would never come back for my real health problem. I have just been diagnosed with Narcolepsy, and chronic Fatigue syndrome by two different specialists and I am not ready at ALL to accept this yet alone them throwing this anorexia thing at me. The problem right now is I am sick to my stomach because of nerves, and can honestly force a few bits of toast at 10 pm before bed. I can't even bring this up to the specialist because I know he will read much more into it. My appointment is on thurs. I would love it so much if you can tell me how your appointment goes after you discus this with him. I am really just considering going someplace and forget I had any tests, or doctors. I am just a bit lost with talking about anything.They have broken my trust by going behind my back and I am sick to my stomach because I did not want any tests, this only creates negativity and now they are saying I can never work again. I really hope your appointment goes well.

Thank-You,
Ratty

[gloria]

I am 5'4 and weight 100. The most I have ever weight is 115. But when pregnant I weighted 132.

I don't know what to tell you, I've been thin all my life, I remember being tested 100000 times because I was thin. I was never ill, my blood always pass all tests with flying colors and even my tyroif was checked and it is fine!! I think the doctors had it and told my mom to leave me alone, that it is just the way I am.

I too work out every day for at least 45 minutes and feel fine. But I know I have to watch what I eat because it is very easy for me to loose weight.

I have a suggestion to you. Start a journal writting down what you eat every day, do it for al least a whole month. It will teach you to make better choices and perhaps will ilustrate the need to increase your intake of food. And while you are at it, why not have your blood tested. It you are not anemic, and your blood is healthy, well, what a way of showin everybody they are wrong, right?

gab

[doodle]

Hey Ratty. I had my appointment with the ED partial hosp people today. I ended up agreeing to try the partial hosp for 2 weeks. They wouldn't let me just see a dietician, but I will meet with one next week. I'm hoping that they won't make me gain too much weight. I'm a little scared of it, because I'm going to be embarrassed at being the only one who isn't really too skinny. I can already feel my jeans getting tighter. I'm telling myself that I might learn new ways to deal with the other problems in my life, and they can't force me to stay in any kind of treatment. They had a way of convincing me that I do have an eating problem, and that it eventually make me sick. I also have a 9 year old daughter, so I want to be as healthy as possible for her. I think if I can get my husband to leave, I would be much better. Maybe you can record what you eat everyday so that the medical people can see that your body just wants to be a certain weight - like 100. I think the main reason they talked me into this treatment is because of the way I answered their questions (I would like to weigh less, I feel guilty when I eat a normal meal, etc.) What are your answers for those quesitons? Have you asked anyone if gaining a few pounds will help your other health problems?

[ratty]

Hi doodle, I am happy to hear about the outcome. My appointment is tomorrow, and I am running scared, because they have a lot of pull to my recent diagnose. I know they are real concerned about myself not understanding this Narcolepsy/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. To make this a shot story, I can say I have refused all tests and am very incompliant with treatment, which now involves the police because of many ditch episodes and the driving control board. I therefore had to do the sleep study. I failed badly and am considered very severe and a danger to myself if I don’t come to terms with things. I am only 39 and miss my life of work and leisure activities, or just being with my friends. I don’t want anyone close to me to know I have this condition, so I limit myself to a ten-minute convocation, and never go out because my condition would show. This really hurts my friends thing I am mad at them. I miss my life and want it back so badly. I am at a disadvantage because my two specialists are psychiatrists who specialize with sleep and are the top specialists. I gave them every reason in the world to drop the issue, on their diagnoses of anorexia. When asked about do I feel fat? “I say oh no I think I’m too skinny” worry about getting fat? “ No why would I worry about that” you said they can’t force you in for help, and with me they can use my diagnoses on my sleep study, and the trouble I have caused myself. I am afraid they will do this as well as monitor my eating habits. Doodle, I honestly am nausea and feel sick because of nerves probably. I have always refused antidepressants in the past and still do not want to go on them. I also go by my jeans and know if I lost weight, we are quit alike; I would never have posted under this category, but another, as this is not my primary problem. After reading your post I had to respond and I am glad I did. So do you weigh yourself or go by how your jeans feel. I am 5’2 and “well” have been sick sooo ? I do know I wear my 9-year-old nephews clothes, and bought a size 12 in the girl section, adult size is 0, but they are to big. ( I am sick to my stomach though)To be honest they took it upon them selves years ago and when I was in the hospital they tried treating me for this. I might of then, but I am older and have been over it. They should not be holding on to the past. I was never treated for this because I left. I know I need help with my sleeping condition, but now I am ready to give up, I don’t have the energy to fight another part of me gone. I need my life back and this is not going to happen. I was told I have to learn to change the way I once was as this will never come to be. So maybe I should not go at all. They have the authority due to knowledge on the last test to do what they want, and I have no say. You said they tried to trick you about your eating disorder? Can you tell me what they did? I am just so very tired and my only option is to leave my home where nobody can find me. I am desperate on getting better, and I think this would be if I did things on my own by myself, then come back healed. I live in Canada and our medical system is quit different, I don’t have to pay for anything so it’s hard to refuse any tests.

I really liked dextor”s phrase, “ The world is what we make of it”
This is so true! And I want my life back and this will be done, or there is no life, sort off speak. You said you were having marriage problems. I have just finished my divorce, and wow this was very stressful, so I am sorry to hear this. I can tell you I was at my end with the divorce, because of so much garbage and legal junk, but I have never been happier to have him out of my life, this will pass for you as well. I am actually friends with my ex. I really hope you do well with the diatrition, does she come to your home?
Ratty,