[amy1101]

ok, here is a copy and paste of what i just wrote in the 'overeaters anonymous' thread..

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i have to say though that despite the amazing encouragement and helpful tips that these people have to offer, i had a horrible incident with a cake that one of my family members made for me (a HUGE one thank you very much family.....) i was worrying about it all afternoon and evening and then what do i do half an hour ago i cut a huge chunk, eat most of it, throw the rest at the wall and speedily visit the toilet. SO SICK OF THIS! hopefullly i will recover from it that little bit quicker than i have done previously and there is the progress.

agh, is so hard.

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If anyone has any helpful advice on what they would have done in this situation, i would majorly appreciate it.
I just dont know what to do anymore. keep on going i guess, one step at a time.

Thanks for reading this..

[embarassed]

I don't know if this will help. I've eaten WHOLE cakes and thrown them up so maybe you could try thinking about it in a more positive way, like, "Hey, at least I didn't eat the whole cake!" Maybe thinking about it in a more positive light will make you feel less "guilty" about eating and you won't feel as compelled to visit the toilet.

[embarassed]

Why did your family make you a huge cake? Do they know you have an ED? It would be forgivable if they didn't know about the ED but it would be really horrible if they made you a huge cake knowing about your food issues.

[amy1101]

Thanks for the advice embarassed
It is a plus that i didnt go through with the whole thing and its that bit better than the last time i experienced a whole cake! But theres this silly immature impatient part of me that just wants to have no problems with it all and i know thats unattainable..

The family members that made it for me dont know and im thinking of telling them a toned down version so theyre more aware and so this doesnt happen everytime i visit them.. but im really scared!

how are you doing?

[Perna]

It took me a long time, my stepmother use to force food on me as I was leaving after having come over for dinner and I'd do the "No, I don't want it, need it, etc." and she'd keep trying :-) My husband though would just "take it". Then, he explained you can do whatever you want with it; it's a gift and "yours" so you can eat it, throw it at the wall, trash it, whatever! I finally get it and now I'm big on not doing leftovers, I just throw them away. Might be wasteful but it's "paid for", it just costs a bit more. Don't think about it, just take it and then trash it. If family asks how you liked it, just say something nonsensical like, "I liked it fine!" and smile broadly. If you can't trash it right away, give it away. Give it to a friend you know understands to deal with (I've given things I couldn't throw away to my therapist) or a family with kids, etc.

I would have taken it, opened the lid if it was in a carrier, and then "tripped" and accidentally dropped it on the lawn or street on the way to the car :-) But I would have tried not to keep it long enough to "worry" me so I was constantly thinking of/obsessed by it.

[amy1101]

Perna thankyou thankyou for that advice, it was exactly what was said in treatment today. I hesitated because i have real trouble throwing things away, especially things that people give me.. they said that its going to be wasted anyway if I eat it and purge so theres no point going through all the emotions when it can be just thrown. i will try again next time!

They also set me an excercise to go to a food shop and to buy two of the same thing. Then on the way out, throw one of them away. aah!

How are you doing at the moment?

Bestest wishes

[embarassed]

You're welcome Amy. I'm doing okay. Thanks for asking. I even followed my own advice yesterday.

[amy1101]

Yay well done
but what did you do with the rest of the cake/food !?
can you sit with it in close approximation!?

[embarassed]

Oh nooooooooooooooo, I can't sit with cake and icecream in close approximation. I loooooooooooooove cake and icecream. I threw it away. I can't have that stuff near me or I will consume whole cakes or gallons of icecream. Oh, and I've done the "accidental" tripping and dropping of my food before too. I've also "accidentally" left perishable food in the backseat of a hot car.

I feel guilty about throwing stuff away too but I tell myself that binging and purging is the same thing as throwing it away. Either way, the food is being wasted.

[Razzleberry]

One piece of advice I got from Weight Watchers meetings. Be assertive. Ask for what you need. Ask people to help you.

Tell your family that you don't want them to make junk food for you. And when they do, respectfully decline. If they continue to push it, and you want to be "polite" (as if it's polite to give cake to someone trying to lose weight...but...anyhoo...)...you can take the gift, and then give it away. If it's packaged, stop by your local food bank on the way home. If not, just throw it away.

It's amazing how much willpower it takes to throw away a completely good cake. But once you do, you'll feel great about yourself.

And if you do slip up and eat it....DON'T let the guilt continue to eat you!!! Eat it, move on. One day at a time.

(Easier said than done, trust me, I know)...

[amy1101]

thanks guys, thats really good advice.

i just slipped up had major binge of a whopping 3000 calories (more than ive had since this cake incident!)

Its difficult though to say to family that what they have made is 'junk' food, i just find it so hard and end up lying through my teeth saying yum thankyou and then losing it when i get home... i will try your advice tommorrow razzle and see how it goes as im going to visit family and am not planning on eating much after tonights escapades.

yep one day at a time.. one hour at a time.. one breath at a time for me right now, ive got palpitations and chest pain.... i really am on the road to recovery because i know this behaviour must end. i cant handle it for much longer. the recovery road is so long and winding.