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  #1  
Old May 09, 2008, 09:36 PM
freewill
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owie.....

did it again folks... gots to quit doing this.... just have to...

I sugar binged and passed out again... one of these days.. just one of these days... I am going to.. not wake up...

feel freezing cold from the sugar.... it drops my temp..

And... in line at the grocery store.. was a person with an eating problem of some sort... and I wanted to hug her.. so so so badly...

she was about 60s... like my friend... who was anerxiox..
bones..
buying.. shakes.. and baby food... and the only thing I do know.. was she had an eating problem... not why..or what...

I wanted to hug her and say.. you are not alone.. I am here... I am here...

And I did Nothing.. and I hate that I did nothing.. why didn't I do something...

and I feel that I was being given a "choice".. and my time is running out... for "God" to have put that person there - He was saying - you.. you.. have a choice... be well.. do not do this..

and I did it anyway...

because I didn't know what else to do with the pain I was feeling...

so.. this is a healing thread... perhaps no one will read it because you all are sick of me..

and I wouldn't blame you... I really wouldn't blame you...

but.. I have got to do things differently... my body isn't going to keep taking this..

love to all of you....

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  #2  
Old May 10, 2008, 12:20 AM
RozG RozG is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 6,767


((((((((freewill))))))))

i'm so sorry this is so hard for you, i wish i could do something for you other than just let you know i care. but i for one will never get sick of you, you're a precious soul.

I did.. it again... I did.. it again... I did.. it again... I did.. it again... I did.. it again... I did.. it again... I did.. it again...
  #3  
Old May 10, 2008, 06:59 AM
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PsyChris PsyChris is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 274
I'm sorry you have to keep going through this freewill! I admire your ability to provide comfort to other users on here in the midst of your own struggles.

I have confidence that you will get through this rough patch in your life and be at peace with yourself. How are you today?
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Chris

The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it.
Seneca (7 B.C. - 65 A.A.)
  #4  
Old May 10, 2008, 02:39 PM
freewill
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thanks guys... your support is greatly appreciated... so... the sugar is.. washing out ... eventually... and now withdrawal will start... a couple of weeks....

and.. I am not doing this again.... not sure what I am going to do... just not.. this...

a friend called me today... unexpectedly.. and it was so very good to hear from him...

so... I think maybe I need to reach out more... the message I was suppose to get... with the lady behind me.. at the grocery store..
I should have done something...
  #5  
Old May 15, 2008, 02:41 AM
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BalishBun BalishBun is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,840
i saw someone in the mall a couple months ago who had either bulimia or anorexia. I wanted to reccomend them to PC! Naw, I thought: what if that person is not ready for help?
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Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there. I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die. R.I.P. Bandit 7-12-08 I love you I miss you.
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