[wishfulmuscle]

After having a really terrible night with ed last night i woke up this morning and decided i was going to do things right today. I got up and planned out my meals for the day and did a calorie calculation to make sure i was where i needed to be.

I was doing well, but in the back of my mind i couldnt wait to go back to my empty house to look for something to devour. Sure enough i gave in to an ice cream and chocolate chip cookie binge.
Im staying at a friends watching her dogs tonight, and i knew i should eat dinner, so i ate a healthy dinner. But just an hour later i found myself again devouring. I just dont have it in me to keep purging after these episodes. my gums and throat are sore but i know if i dont do something im going to get fat.

i cant even enjoy a night with friends because i cant bring myself to get dressed in clothes that will reveal my shape or size. This has become such a problem that my girlfriend is even sick of trying to help me and is just discouraged.

im so disappointed. i thought for sure today was going to be a good day but its just another let down

[Rissie_and_another]

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) i hear you muscle. ive been binging for about 2 days now and i want it to end. i just dont have the will power to do things right. im trying. and im here if you ever need to talk

[Christina86]

(((((((((wishfulmuscle))))))))))))

Planning calorie-calculations is a good first step if you need to limit your calorie intake. Works for some people... just don't let it run your life, okay?

I'm sorry you went on a binge... I know it sounds simplistic, but there is "out of sight, out of mind" ... can you get the things you'd normally binge on out of the house? I know it's hard though.

ohhhhhhhhh... sweetie... raising "hand" here... cause me too... today I was going to be "good"... and well didn't happen...

tomorrow.. will be better day for all of us...

[JanetNJ]

Hi. I have been where you are and it is AWFUL!!! I remember bingeing and swearing that I never would again, but the next day I was...over and over. I finally learned that I had a disease and coulnd't stop on my willpower. Just like a person with cancer can't by willpower make cancer cells stop multiplying. I was beaten, bottomed out, hopeless, a mess and realized finally that there was nothing I could do about it on my own. Thank God that I found a program that helped me tap into the power to do what I could not do on my own. There IS a solution. I found it in the 12 steps pioneered by AA. Let me know if you want more info, I have been in recovery without obsessing about food for years now. God Bless.

[wishfulmuscle]

that would definately help me alot.. there are no counselors around that arent book until next december close enough for me to go to.. so ive been trying to crack this on my own which is not going to happen. thanks for the offer, i'd really appreciate it

[BalishBun]

hey at least take something out of being discouraged, there are many people here on pc that are going through the same thing. Hang in there.

[nevagiveup]

We all get so discouraged sometimes but we have to remember we are sick in a way and we wont juts get better overnight. Try getting a new haircut or even dying it for a change and to help up lift your mood. It will help you feel good in those clothes.