[luckyyouxx]

has anyone else lost interest in just about everything that they used to enjoy? I'm 21 next week, and im not even sure what i enjoy... all ive been doing my whole life is school school school, work, school, and thinking about calories and food and fat. as soon as school stopped im forced to be outside of the box and start doing things... but the problem is is that im not interested in anything. All my friends and boyfriend are at a party right now and im here sitting alone at home crying cause i feel like my life is going no where and it has been for the past 3 years.
i dont want to go out because i feel like i look like %#@&#! in comparrison to all these 17 year old LG's at the party, i can't even walk into a grocery store sometimes cause i dont feel good about my looks. I don't want to live in my hometown anymore because everything and everyone is so boring.

Is there something wrong with me or has anyone else lost interests because of their ED?

[JungleAnimal]

I've so been there b4...I think many with addictive behaviors and disorders have been. Usually the ED is in full swing when I'm feeling the way you do right now, but nurturing the tendency to give into a feeling of purposelessness with regard to your ED is probably senseless and destructive as opposed to goal oriented and self-evolving...easier said than done, I know. For me, after about 30+ years of suffering with an ED and poor body image, being hospitalized on too many occasions to count and damaging my kidneys to the point of no return and shortening my lifespan by too many years, I've come to realize that sometimes all it takes is just ONE little thing to motivate you into getting through that devastating pull downward throughout each day and dealing with the saddness and strife that accompanies life in general. Something, anything that makes you smile, get chills, feel safe, warm, WORTHY... that will keep the numbing effect of the ED at bay so as not to mask our natural ability to tap into those healthy skills we have to cope. It's personal for everyone, but everyone has at least one thing. You just have to find yours, and as easy as it feels to numb with the ED instead of dealing, the easier and more comfortable it will be to tap into your own natural ability to calm yourself!

[luckyyouxx]

Thank you for your wise response, I truly appretiate it. I think I've learned a few things from you here and I hope to apply these things when I feel like this next.
Only trouble is finding that one little thing that makes me feel worthy. My boyfriend is the only thing that comes to mind and means the world to me, but I don't want to rely on someone else to create that feeling, I should rely on me also. But! The search is on...and again thank you very much.