i need to know what's normal, i just don't know anymore.

I'm scared that i'm eating too much, but i really don't know, i might be eating too little, i don't know what 'normal' is anymore.

Today i had:

* 1 Orange
* 1 Bowl of chicken stirfry (a very small amount of chicken in it though, and vegetables were capsicum, pineapple, mushroom, zuchinni, and pumpkin, all fresh. & the bowl was full.)
* 2 Chocolate biscuit wafer sticks (100 calories)
* Lots of water

and i'm done for today.

Is this too much? I'm sorry i know this sounds really stupid but i really don't know anymore, it seems to me as if ANYTHING is too much.
Is what i'm eating classified as normal eating behaviour?
I really am trying It just feels so much.

That's not too much, it's less than normal. If you want to find out what's officially "normal" for your age/height/etc you can use a calorie intake calculator like this one: http://www.freedieting.com/tools/cal...alculator.htm#

okay thanks, i'll try out the link.
thanks for you're reply.

Mary you already in your heart know the answer to your question. The real question is if you want to change your eating behaviors or not, it takes a lot to be ready. But atleast your reaching out

(((mary)))

thinking of you.


twilight

花鳥風月

c'est tout ce que j'aime

thankyou both

Mary
I was 12 when I got my eating disorder I guess it started out alot like yours not sure if it was THAT bad or not. Well I went YEARS without anyone reaching out to me bla bla bla. Then When I thought that it was still no big deal I started to not be able to eat without throwing up passing out. so on and so forth I wanted everyone to see my inner pain by my outter body well eventually that became my reality because you become so engrossed woth your ED that you don,t have a reality. I am 35 I presumed that I snuck by with Anorexia undetected until one day my doc decided to give me a bone scan, My hips are at the age of a 99 and my spine is 102 years old brittle. kick in the *** for someone that runs,Kayaks , loves to horseback ride. Anyway,people did SEE my pain the people that you want to hurt notice but they don't take resposibility. That's your job. They get upset, for a liitle while but they can't change you. noone can make this better. There's only you and tha's only if YOU care. You can talk forever but i'm warning you and everyone out there I've coded, lost 4 friends.If you think that maybe your not O.k your not get real help, keep on trying until someone listens and don't give up on yourself.

i'm sorry you've been through so much
& i know i'm not okay. Even on a day when i eat what i assume to be too much i still lose weight - 9 kg so far.
i'm willing to change, i just can't yet.

That's a start. The crazy thing is I don't want anyone NOT anyone to FEEL sorry for me. The real problem for me is for all of these years that I've done this I just want this gone all of the pain that I was trying to control with starving myself I wish I could just have learned to talk. I have a lot of baggage but now that I'm ready to own it. It owns me I tried so long worried about food I forgot to live, now I just don't know how to. I have been spending my life coping with some huge stuff with my head up my butt. Now I feel like I'm tring to walk before I crawl. It will consume you. Please all of you look inside of yourself statistic say that you probably won't get better. The longer you wait the worse it gets. Love yourself and this truely is the key, you,d NEVER treat or wish tjis on some you love look in the mirror. REALLY look in the mirror, one time for the next 7 days say and raech down deep, even if it's hard. SAY. I will love you today like iwanted to be loved, like I need to be loved, because I love you. Can you do that? And anyone else out there reading this PLEASE REPLY

i guess i could try

How did today go? I know that you don't believe it right now but when you love yourself and demand to be loved that's when others will love you.

thankyou for caring, i know i have to learn to love myself, i just don't know if i can with how much i've hated myself in the past. But i'm going to try.

Dont worry, it's normal. if you're scared of gaining weight, eat alot in the morning, that way you have a longer time to burn it all off.