afraid

I threw up today after eating lunch ate dinner did not throw up I just ate cake iam going to throw it up. I have done it about 4 or 5 times since the sixteeth of this month I feel I need to do this because Iam fat an ugly and i feel i needed to punish myself for being overweight This is the first time I have attempted this If I do not throw up I will only starting eating one meal a day to not gtain anymore weight

((((((((L37))))))))))

There are safer and healthier ways to lose weight.
Being overweight (if you truly are) is not a reason to be punished.
Are you talking to a therapist or counseler about these issues?
Take care.

thank you for the advise I threw up the cake and then ate alot of pretzels and feel quilitY I will mention it to my theraptist when I see her on april 20

Hi Loser,

It is scary .

That your aware of what your doing and why is a big plus and sharing it.

I was overweight from age 5 through 14. dieting had started around age 14. Purging stared at age 16 .

I was teased in a very cruel manner by my peers.

"Patty fatty
two by four
couldn't get through the bathroom door

So she went on the floor
and licked it up and went some more ."

this was chanted at me over and over

i had an entire class room jeer and even threw spit wads at me. when the teacher was out.

I was rejected on a daily basis. through verbal taunts some physical . this was back in the 60's long before te word bullying in schools was taken seriously or even acknowedged.

i would come home and cry . I would miss school sometimes. I lived in constant fear.

I don't know whats in your past .

It sounds to me like you need help.

how old are you?

what are your resourses for help?

do you have anywhere you can turn to get help right now. in real life.

heres a link for OA overeaters anonymous on the web.

its the only free reasourse I'm aware of thats consitant.and covers all areas of eating disorders.

When I was there we all were.

its the first move I made in my recovery.

Patricia
https://www.oa.org/

I just started doing this Iam 37 yrs old I have no one in real life to talk expect my theraptist who I will see on april 20 and my psycharist who I will see on thurday other wise is nobody else to talk to I will mention it to them

Hi ,

Your not alone in starting at the age you are. I was around 26 /27 . and there were a couple of women who were 40 and they had kept it hidden since thier teens.

I met them in OA. I had two maybe three women I called all the time.
If you can find someone in that kind of group you can call when you have the urge to "pick up" the food .



you "pick up" the phone instead. I was very fortunate to have women who were in the same place. we spent hours talking ,doing dishes ,what ever .
With therapists they get very upset when you call with an issue or have the urge to binge in between sessions.

we had thanksgiving dinners and christams dinner together and they were abstinate eating..

we were a tight group . did lots of thigs together. seems like I had a fantatic socil life till I met a phyche nurse and a few other women in ACOA .

that undid me.
****************************
Anyone trying to detox or change addictive behavior knows the need to go to three meetings a day and talk in between.

AA is wonderful in this way . In our town there is up to eight meetings a day.

OA here is about 4 I think last I checked.

We KNow how difficult it is to stop with something we just can't put down and not touch.
Its a

( fill in swear word here)

Its lonely . And there is hardley anyone to talk to . there are very few groups most are therapy groups and they charge up to 60.00 a session. money.
.

Google OA and your town Loser.. for meetings. It was scary for me to go to my first one. You may find someone you already know . It happened to me.

if there is a meeting you will find others just like you. Trust me .. you may even find your self laughing if you got a funny person in the group.

You can start one if there are none. Theres started group info you can get a hold of through OA world service.

I go to AA meetings and just listen primarily . Once in a while I share ,
Look and see if you can find a womens AA meeting .
There is usually a few who have ed's . it takes a while for you to find them.

In fact many men with alchohol problems have food issues .

I know all my typing is not gonna take away the fear. Your just gonna have to try it .

You can walk in a bit late so you don't have to introduce yourself and leave right when they pass the basket . before closing and you won't have to hold hands or say a prayer. That way you won't have to interact .

I give you suport in doing that .. Actualy . I did ALOT of that..

No guys can hit on you that way either....LOL!!!!!!!!


Patricia

Thank you can I ask you one question what does oa is it overeating annoymous I will look it up I do not drive but I will try to get to a meeting

Hi loser,


yes OA is overeaters anonymous . It's a twelve step program that was designed after the twelve steps Of AA alchoholics anonymous.

I believe it was the first program other than Alanon to follow AA and ask permission for AA to use thier format.
But not absolutely certain about that .

try googling Over eaters anonymous and your town.
You may find a contact Number .

AA always has a help line and contact numbers if you can't find one for your town.

I believe you can find a number for AA i the yellow pages of your phone book . Or dial information for Over eaters anoymous
or Alchoholics anonymous.

I don't have a toll free number right here right now.

AA may be able to help you find a contact for OA

AA finds a way to get poeple "rides" to meetings.

People In OA pick up and take people home . You may be able to find a bus that gets you close . Almost all meetings are in churchs. It's a safe place to be. loser. No one will report you. You don't have to say anything .You can just go and listen.

AA may beable to have a woman in the program talk with you.

Also . see what hotlines are around in your area , talk lines , call a rape crisis line . They usually have lots of resourses and can lead you in the right direction within your cominuity.for OA .

You do not have to use your name at meetings . You can say

" I'm Victoria and I meet the requirements to be here."

A man In my OA group introduced himself that way . I thought it was brilliant.

For attending a 12 step meeting , The desire to stop eating compusively , or stop drinking . or what ever the addiction is , Is the only requirement .

Good luck . Ill put in a word for you up stairs.

Be brave . give it a try. You can always say No .

also.. even if you do individual counseling , its always stressed to make contacts in a real life support group because therapy ends and much of it is short term. Its not easy Loser . Eventually you can find somene whos safe in the meetings, You'll know them when you hear them and watch them over time.


Patricia