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Old May 21, 2014, 01:01 PM
Twprhd Twprhd is offline
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Location: Metairie, La
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So on Friday we having discussion and argument back n forth from one to the other with husband of almost 20. Within that he starts telling me what we need to do to trust each other again; and that is, when ever one of us leaves and we say bye we need to say I love you I trust you. He continues saying we do this exercise everyday and you watch in 2 or 3 month you will trust me again. I could tell you all the things I said in response, but basically I felt like he was trying to manipulate and control me. I'm curious if you can give me your thoughts on this? Thanks so much!

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  #2  
Old May 22, 2014, 06:15 AM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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Hello Twprhd, welcome to Psych Central.

After 20 years of marriage, it's hard isn't it. Being forced into saying that, is not going to make you believe it. So what do you want to do about your relationship? Do you want to work on it or is it time to cut loose?

Here are some interesting links on a controlling relationship -

Signs of a Controlling Guy | Psych Central

Why Women Stay with Controlling Men | Psych Central

5 Steps To Escaping An Emotionally Abusive Relationship | World of Psychology
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  #3  
Old May 22, 2014, 12:02 PM
Twprhd Twprhd is offline
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Thanks so much pegusus I appreciate your response and reading links! Thank you
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  #4  
Old May 22, 2014, 01:15 PM
nicoleflynn nicoleflynn is offline
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I stayed for 31 years with a verbal abuser (some physical). It wasn't until I found the book that saved my life that I could begin the process of leaving: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans.

Saying something (anything) over and over doesn't make it so....I trust you? Sounds very odd to me. of course he is trying to manipulate and control you.
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Thanks for this!
Twprhd
  #5  
Old May 22, 2014, 02:28 PM
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Pikku Myy Pikku Myy is offline
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I dont even want to repeat what happened here... never going back. Keep moving forward Tw It will get better.
Thanks for this!
Twprhd
  #6  
Old May 25, 2014, 08:38 PM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Well, words are nice. Actions are better. Don't know what he did wrong, but 2-3 months of just saying it? Falls in line, with that expression that is in jest, usually. ..if i keep telling myself this, I'll actually believe it. I.e.,the sky is purple or i love my job, etc.
If your gut senses a control tactic from him, it very well could be.

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