How to find motivation

Nothing motivates me, I've been without a job for over 3 years (in a lot of debt), no family around, my friends don't know how to talk to me, I live alone and I'm 46 years old with no future in sight. I don't know what to do with myself, since I have no health insurance to get therapy and I'm not good at communicating. I'm not even motivated to get help, I'm writing this because I'm now bored. I'm not someone that is willing to ask for help, but would like to hear other points of view on my situation. I just don't know what is wrong with me.

I have two main ways to get motivated....pleasure and anxiety. Assignment due next week...that's anxiety and the closer the deadline gets the more effective it is. Pleasure well that's self-explanatory...

What are your passions? Like I enjoy working with children so when the kids were in elm school I volunteered. I got out of the house and met new people. It also opened the door for employment. Volunteer somewhere and see what doors will open. Just an idea.

Hello Akua,

Sounds like you could be depressed http://psychcentral.com/disorders/depression/

You can take some online tests and see what is going on for you Psychological Tests and Quizzes and The Sanity Score - Test Your Mental Wellness

Talking about it and sharing on the forums will help.

I've tried to get back into things that I am passionate about, but it just made it a chore that I no longer want to do. Oddly one of my passions is exercise and all my friends can tell me is to exercise because it will make me feel better...I now hate it. My friends are slowly detaching themselves from me, nobody wants to be around misery and I don't blame them.

I've been in this state for at least 2 years if not longer, will it pass with time? Every test I took online came back with depression & general anxiety...so now what? I don't have medical to get proper care, what is a person to do? Maybe I'm making a bigger deal than it actually is...possible.

Thanks for your comments.

Hello, Akua.

Finding Low-Cost Psychotherapy

Exercise in many cases is better than a pill. Volunteering gets you out and doing something for yourself and others. Doing nothing is not going to do anything but make your life harder.

Today, pick out something easy that needs to get done and do it. Doing is the key.

You may benefit from calling NAMI. They may be able to point you in a helpful direction: NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | State & Local NAMIs

I know if I'm bored, there's hope. When I get in a bored or depressed mood, I start doing something I really hate to do and am never surprised when something "better" comes up -- an interesting book or idea or thing I want to try, etc.

Dear Akua,

Life ebbs and flows you are fluid. Energy whether mental/physical is not permanent and so there is hope. You maybe stuck but nothing remains the same.
Being without work for over 3 years, you have lost a reason to get up, even if you disliked your job. That sucks, and now you have too much time on your hands and too much time to think.
3 years you are probably losing ue benefits.
Lacking medical insurance does impede treatment but no hospital can deny you, its against the law.
Reaching out and asking for help is the first step, next you have to accept the help with an open heart. Apply for federal medicaid immediately.

Change some little things. I like the walk at night when all the people have gone home and it is quite. I enjoy the breeze/ the moonlight it helps to clear my mind without being surrounded by noise or people.
Music, what kind of music do you enjoy? Exercise, you said you use to enjoy it, what happened to change that? You are slowly pushing your friends away. Sure some people will get sick and tired of hearing the same song, others will say they did the best they could.
But it is up to you, you do have a future. Your debt can be managed. You can take steps now to save your assets before liens are attached. You control how you feel and react to your environment.
Make it what you want it to be.
I have been where you are truly, so you're not alone, life is far from perfect but it is better. I still fall on dark days and sometimes it takes a week for me to get back to neutral.
Restorative Sleep is very important. Diet is essential, you are probably lacking vital nutrients your body needs to be healthy.
Whatever power was taken from you, its time to take it back.
Be well,
Happiedasiy