Therapists interrupting patients while talking - is this normal?

Even though there have been many occasions when I felt like I might benefit from therapy, I have been hesitant to actually seek out a therapist because I've had such negative experiences with them in the past. One issue that really bothered me was being interrupted while speaking. Like, literally cut off mid-sentence by the therapist jumping in with her own opinion. This happened with two different therapists. The first one I managed to get through about five or six sessions before I admitted that I felt worse, not better, every time I spoke with her and no longer felt she was a good fit. The second one interrupted me multiple times during the initial session and I didn't even bother coming back.

That just seems so inconsiderate and disrespectful--not to mention counterproductive. Why ask someone a question with the supposed purpose of understanding them better only to cut them off before they're finished responding? And then jump to a conclusion without having heard the whole story? In each case, the therapist's response was way off the mark. When I explained that I wasn't finished talking and that her response may have been different if she heard everything I had to say, the therapist dismissed the concern and made it clear that she'd already come to a conclusion about the issue at hand.

I know that patients and therapists often disagree. I also know that "provoking" the patient in various ways can help them to open up and provide insights. But flat-out interrupting the patient? What therapeutic purpose could that possibly serve? It really made me feel frustrated and disrespected and put me off from therapy in a big way. I'm afraid it will happen again.

Anyway, is this normal behavior for a therapist? Has anyone ever had the same problem during a session--and if so, how did you address it?

To me this is inconsiderate, disrespectful, and unprofessional behavior, and indicates that those therapists had some unresolved issues themselves. Dismissing your concern is another thing that seems completely unprofessional to me. In my experience this is not normal behavior for therapists, and my guess would be that you just happened to come across a couple of rotten apples.

I actually DO think this is normal. It is likely you have said something they want to immediately address or gain more insight to. Remember, this isn't about friendly chit chat, this is about getting to the bottom of an issue, fleshing it out, and shaping something from it. You aren't there for conversation at all, the 'bounds' of your interraction hence don't follow the normal adherents of conversation - especially when there is a time limit. It is your therapist/service provider's JOB to direct and guide the discussion.

Yes, sometimes I get ticked but who says you can't interrupt too. On more that one ocassion I have looked at my psychiatrist and said, "I think you need to know..."

Thank you Mountainbard and rcat for your input.

Would it be unreasonable of me to explain these concerns at the beginning of the initial session and ask that, whenever possible, the new therapist allow me to finish responding before they jump in?

I understand that there are time constraints and that I'm not just there to be "listened to" in a one-sided way. That makes sense. But, as the patient, shouldn't I also feel comfortable letting my guard down and speaking freely? Knowing that I may be interrupted (especially if it's already happened) just causes me to clam up and feel disrespected and misunderstood. It feels like the opposite of empathy.

Likewise, is it okay for the patient to say "I'm sorry, but I think you're getting the wrong impression about me. I was about to explain that..." and then finish the thought? I would think that this would be useful information to the therapist's perspective.

It wouldn't even bother me as much if these particular therapists had put their hand up or said "excuse me" or "do you mind if I jump in for a sec?" to indicate that they had an important thought they wished to share at that particular moment. I would have stopped to allow them to have their say. Maybe if I also explained this at the start of the session...like "if you want to jump in while I'm talking, that's cool, but please say so at the time instead of simply cutting me off" that might help me feel more comfortable about proceeding. Would that he unprofessional of me?

It is tempting to interrupt right back. I'm just afraid that will cause me to be labeled "antagonistic" or something along those lines and impede the progress of the conversation even more. I want to show that I'm cooperative and receptive to what the therapist has to say. I just don't want to allow myself to be interrupted and have the therapist's opinions dominate the conversation at the expense of my perspective. Does that make sense?

Go for it, and interrupt right back. It will bring that process out into the open.

i have had this experience too. it is so frustrating. i want to be heard and validated. good luck

That's certainly unprofessional...and when you interview (free phone consult?) more Ts, be sure to notice if they do that on the phone! Ts should only interrupt when you both have agreed for T not to let you get off track, or because of time constraints/insurance limits on sessions... but in general if a T doesn't let you talk, how do they know what your issue is? They're assuming they know already? If they're that smart then let them write down your solutions and forget future sessions altogether

Ok... seek out certified, trained therapists (clinical psychologists) for real help... though maybe even some of them forget "the rules"

I once was forced by the insurance company to see a psychiatrist who was to do an IME for them... and I sware, he would parrot my every word into a microphone for recording...as I spoke! I think they do this just to irritate disabled patients. They're sick!

Keep searching...

there are just too many doctors and therapists out there that don't have a clue, but don't let the bad ones win!!

t's are supposed to LISTEN......MORE than they are supposed to TALK, and never interupt! THeir opinions do not matter; they are supposed to give you tools to make your own decisions, eetc.

I just say 'I was coming to that' and carry right on.

I'm the one who said it was perhaps in their job to interrupt as they dig for information and lead the conversation. It occurs to me I should clarify my statement.

I have been thinking about this and reflecting on how my average therapy session/pdoc visit is conducted. Yes, for the most part I talk ad nauseum without interruption. But, when they do interrupt it is usually preceded by a "Can we talk about that?" or some other manner more polite than simply jumping in or cross talking.

And yes I do appreciate this as I gain my own different perspectives of what makes me tick. But, I want t reiterate that I myself am given opportunity to interrupt them; or, at least they make me feel comfortable enough to do so. In most cases I leave the visit feeling I've said what needs to be said.

But this leads to a side queation.... how much time do you others spend in a doctor's chair and does that affect your interrpretation and answer of this question.

I have a full hour and a half which I know is above average.

Well, it depends, it is therapy, not a rambling room...and some do tend to ramble on and on switching topics in an unfocused kind of way. Someone has to give direction to stay on topic and method at hand. Therapy is work.

I myself prefer a therapist that asks the right questions and don't let me snow her under. She can also keep me centered on recovery because I tend to go off on tangents. If I feel I need to express more, then I'll tell her to hold that thought till I was finished.

Besides, if our relationship isn't working out for me, I can always fire her.

Now that brings up yet another question. The act of being able to choose your doctor and psychiatric service.

In my region, you have no choice at all. When your family doctor makes a referral he/she tries to match you up with a psychiatrist who might be best for you, but you may end up waiting 12-18mos for an assessment. Thus, the chances are more likely that it is 'first come first served.' The ONLY way to obtain a psychiatrist is through your family doctor.

Yes, here in the US there are several ways to seek mental health care.

One is by Doctor referral if your insurance is of the HMO type. Another is any doctor of your choosing if they accept your insurance with a PPO.
Another is not having a choice by poverty and attending a clinic that charges on a sliding scale. Another is out of pocket. Another is providers that accept Medicaid. There are even a few grants and programs out there for the mentally ill who can't afford care.

We have lots of doctors in this area, but there are still waiting lists up from a week to a few months long. Some will see you in a few days, depending where you are at. For instance, I live in a city so there are a few to choose from.

Oh, if you notice, the options and quality of care depends on $$$.

I think you did well with the second person you saw, not going back. Often the initial session is free; I'd just keep checking out different therapists until you find one you would like to work with. Some people like the therapist talking more and some, less, and some therapists, especially (I assume) younger ones or those without much experience are still working out how to adjust to each person and figure out how to interact with them that first time just as we are trying to figure out to interact with them in return.

[quote=Persephone518;4750846] ...One issue that really bothered me was being interrupted while speaking. Like, literally cut off mid-sentence by the therapist jumping in with her own opinion. This happened with two different therapists. The first one I managed to get through about five or six sessions...

I think some interrupting is normal, but they should be respectful when doing it. Every therapist is different, some will have more to say than others. What they should be challenging you on, once they get to know you, are things like cognitive distortions or contradictions. If you do have a tendency to ramble, it might be necessary to cut you off to bring these things to your attention. What sometimes happens (not saying you do this, just giving an example) is that a therapist will ask a question and instead of answering the question, the client feels like it's necessary to give a long detailed explanation, going far back into the past. Even though we might feel that the recent fight with mom requires an explanation beginning of how she treated us when we were five, that's not always actually necessary.

A good therapist should want you to get something more out of sessions than just venting - you can do that with a friend. If you try a third therapist and you find the same thing happening, don't get defensive, take a step back and look at why this might be happening. With one, even two therapists you may have had bad luck in finding ones that aren't particularly experienced or good at their jobs but as a pattern emerges, the common denominator here is you.

Good luck!

DD

It sounds like you found a terrible therapist, and should try to find a new one. I, too, have had such bad experiences with all the professionals I have tried to get for help. I could give a funny run-down of the reasons for not going back to each one. It's not funny though, and very frustrating to not be able to get help. The last one I had been seeing couldn't get his billing figured out with his wife who was his office manager and the insurance company. I told him that he needs to fix his problem with the insurance company and let me know whether or not I owe him any money before I would agree to come back and see him for my next appointment. I feel pretty sure that he will never call me again. He was trying to get me to pay him as though I didn't have insurance at the time of our appointments. He even kept changing prices on me telling me how much he is supposed to get. Talk about unprofessional! I think writing on here and getting peer support is helping me better.

I should probably mention that these two examples happened ten years apart (as opposed to me seeking out a second therapist for the same issue after ending my sessions with the first...in case that's what it sounded like).

I admittedly don't remember many details of my conversations with the first therapist, since that was way back in 2001, but I do recall her having the tendency to cut me off even when I was giving short concise answers to her questions.

I spoke to the second therapist in 2011 for a completely different issue (difficulty retaining newly-learned job skills and performance anxiety at work). She was "matched" with me through a mental health referral service that was part of my employee benefits, and yes, the initial consult was free. I got the distinct impression that this particular therapist was rushing the session along and had a superficial level of compassion at most. I told her about my concern and she proceeded to ask me various questions about my background. Whenever I would mention something that fit in with what seemed to be her preconceived notions, she would interrupt me and jump to conclusions. For example, as soon as I explained that my husband had died eighteen months before, she abruptly cut me off and said "oh, you're grieving--THAT right there explains why you're having trouble concentrating at work." To which I replied that I had been in bereavement counseling and that it helped significantly and that I honestly felt like I was in an otherwise good place emotionally. Again, she cut me off dismissively. "But it's only been eighteen months, there's no way you could be in a good place emotionally. The grief is obviously still distracting you. You should continue those sessions and go back on the Lexapro" [that I had been weened off of without complication]. The only thing obvious to me at this point was that this particular therapist was not interested in my perspective and was looking for quick, easy ways to label me. At the end of the discussion, I politely explained that I didn't feel anything constructive would come of future sessions. I then drove to the bookstore and bought a book on improving one's working memory. It genuinely helped me with the problem in question. I've been opting for books over therapy ever since.

I think it's also worth mentioning that both therapists were considerably older than I was. The first was in her mid-50s (compared to my 21) and the second around 70 (compared to my 31). I can't help but wonder if the compulsion to interrupt me might be a generational thing. Like the unconscious assumption that more life experience = more insight and understanding into the patient's mind than the patient herself could possess. That, and perhaps the tendency to drift into "parent mode" when speaking to someone young enough to be the therapist's offspring. Lots of parents interrupt their kids when trying to prove a point in conversation, and so it wouldn't surprise me if the habit carried over into therapy sessions with younger patient. I would be curious to see if the interrupting thing happened with a therapist my age or younger.

Oh yes that's much different! I did take it to mean one therapist right after the other. I had a therapist who would nod her head and say "mm-hmm" every 20 seconds or so, regardless of whether or had just said something or not. It was not only distracting but made me feel like she wasn't listening at all. I ended up switching over to her supervisor, someone with more experience who I liked much more. There are a *lot* therapists out there and some of them frankly, s*ck. Someone has to be last in the class, you know? Not to mention taking 3 or 4 times to pass licensing exams...

Yes, obviously no two are the same nor are they all good. I suppose I value a therapist or psychiatrist that is interractive during my visits. I can't imagine one that simply sits back and goes 'um' repeatedly.

I wonder if one factor which might have a therapist interrupting is the length of time allotted for the visit. Having one that did so suggests to me the visit is shorter that one with a therapist that encourages you to talk at length. Just wondering. Perhaps it might be that they feel pressured to accomplish something in a shorter amount of time which leads to the interruptions.

Either way, whether or not your therapist's mode of how they conduct their sessions is correct or incorrent, it is all about your own comfortability. If you can, see if you can change them. I suppose a start would be to describe the situation to your psychiatrist or other health care provider.