[BlueMoonBlueEarth]

So it's been a while since I last posted, but I've thought about the phenomenon that is thinking there's something wrong with people who don't think the same as them. The "how-dare-you-disagree-with-me syndrome", I like to call it.

I find it an interesting topic because I think people have thought "What's wrong with you?" towards somebody who doesn't think the same as them a lot more than they care to admit. I know I have in the past. So what arouses this thought? Is it normal to think negatively of people who don't think the same as you? And is it naturally hypocritical to say or even think you should respect other peoples' opinions? Just curious.

I don't think that its normal and honestly i find it to be a very undesirable feature in people. Everyone is going to have different opinions. People need to respect that. Anyone who thinks there is something wrong with me because I disagree with them…well they can kick some dust and deal. I am going to have my own thought process.

[-jimi-]

One of my friends can't take any disagreement. If people don't think like her to 100 % she thinks they cannot be true friends. She is also an extreme detail thinker, I think this influences this behavior, that you can't accept one thing "wrong" with someone, it spoils everything sort of.

She tells me over and over what I should think. It gets a bit tiring.

For me it depends. I judge people quite harshly sometimes but mostly just in areas I think are extra important.

[BlueMoonBlueEarth]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

I don't think that its normal and honestly i find it to be a very undesirable feature in people. Everyone is going to have different opinions. People need to respect that. Anyone who thinks there is something wrong with me because I disagree with them…well they can kick some dust and deal. I am going to have my own thought process.

Thanks for this. Yes, you may be right. I sounded quite cynical in my original post, and I apologize for that. I just wondered, because even though I know I should respect other peoples' opinions I sometimes have that thought and scold myself for having it. Thanks for reading.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Er, no not really. It is normal, I believe, although I have yet to manage it, however to be able to maintain a civilised disagreement!

[BlueMoonBlueEarth]

Originally Posted by -jimi-

One of my friends can't take any disagreement. If people don't think like her to 100 % she thinks they cannot be true friends. She is also an extreme detail thinker, I think this influences this behavior, that you can't accept one thing "wrong" with someone, it spoils everything sort of.

She tells me over and over what I should think. It gets a bit tiring.

For me it depends. I judge people quite harshly sometimes but mostly just in areas I think are extra important.

Yes, exactly. If someone said they liked a different colour than me I wouldn't worry about it, but if someone said to me "Your mother is a low-life," I'd be extremely angry even if that was their honest opinion.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

"how-dare-you-disagree-with-me syndrome" - you are not my managing director are you?

[kindle&cozymystery]

they are definitely hard to deal with

Blue,

I find myself getting really annoyed with people who think in certain ways. When I was much younger, I used to think they just did it to be annoying. I think I was more in the "but-how-could-you-think/do-that?" school rather than "how-dare-you-disagree-with-me?"

Then I went to this course through my job and took the Myers-Briggs Type psychological profile test and I discovered that the type of person who annoyed me the most was the one who thought exactly opposite from the way I did.

I think I have gotten more tolerant as I've gotten older or at least have learned that people perceive the world in many different ways and can have some really surprising ways of looking at things.

I think it gets harder to respect other people's opinions when they're very different from ours if those opinions are going to threaten us in some way.

[Hellion]

I do not automatically think there is anything wrong with someone if I disagree with them, however I have to draw the line somewhere. If someone was to for instance express to me the opinion that the best way to get rid of poverty is to eradicate the poor...then I think I'd have reason to wonder what the hell is wrong with them. I think its fine to respect others opinions, so long as their opinion isn't very toxic/harmful/abusive/harrasing towards others, but I reserve the right not to respect opinions that are any of those things. Even then though sometimes it seems more ignorance so I might bother trying to explain why I take an issue with their opinion...but there is no getting through to some people.

But yeah I try and keep an open mind, and I don't expect people to always be perfect and never, ever slip up and say something that could offend people...or maybe blurt something out of anger or without thinking it through....I know there are times I've done that.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Disagreement is inevitable - perhaps how you react depends on what outcome you desire.

You may be able to change their mind in which case the 'how dare you approach' will diminish the chances of this, it is quite possible they are not susceptible to argument, so if you cannot change their views why waste energy on the 'How dare you's'?

It occurs to me that the 'How dare you response' is about you, not the other person or their views. Do you really need to validate yourself by exclaiming 'How dare you'?

In Britain we avoid all this by saying, 'Well, it's a point of view I suppose', thus expressing our disagreement in a non-judgemental or confrontational way and asserting the independence of our opinions.

Lol yes, this is me all over. I hate people disagreeing with me. I shouldn't, but i do.

[Slamjammer]

Whenever I disagree with my wife, she says I'm crazy!

Maybe that's just how wives are 😎

[kindle&cozymystery]

Haha

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by BlueMoonBlueEarth

So it's been a while since I last posted, but I've thought about the phenomenon that is thinking there's something wrong with people who don't think the same as them. The "how-dare-you-disagree-with-me syndrome", I like to call it.

I find it an interesting topic because I think people have thought "What's wrong with you?" towards somebody who doesn't think the same as them a lot more than they care to admit. I know I have in the past. So what arouses this thought? Is it normal to think negatively of people who don't think the same as you? And is it naturally hypocritical to say or even think you should respect other peoples' opinions? Just curious.

It depends on whether they disagree with my opinion or ignore facts that the opinion may be based on.

[12AM]

In my opinion, I would rather think that there is something wrong with people who don’t get along with me than to think that there is something wrong with me. The reason to that is if I think it is other’s fault, there is nothing gonna happen to them anyway. But if I blame myself surely there is something bad that is gonna happen with me (you know what I mean). And it is not naturally hypocritical to say or even think you should respect other’s opinions, it is called trying to be logic.

[littleowl2006]

Interesting topic, quite the basic question of democracy right? Have pondered this for a while myself.
I once had a friend who told me I could not accept her opinions, what gave me a lot to chew on for a while. Now I can say that she was pretty judgmental herself and called people "crazy" if they disagreed with her, while reproaching everybody else for being intolerant. I disliked her harsh opinions about my life decisions and spoke up to that (f. ex. she said I was a bad person for not visiting my mother on Christmas), so I went into her "crazy" category and got my label from her.
I guess it is about finding a balance. Having an opinion is as important as accepting different mindsets

[happiedasiy]

Originally Posted by George H.

It depends on whether they disagree with my opinion or ignore facts that the opinion may be based on.

I agree with you George and most of your opinions.
I like the matter of fact verses matter of biased opinion.

I can respect the fact that some people may swayed to think one way, If the issue is important enough, all I can do is state what I know.
And leave it alone.

There is a sliding scale for me to say there's something wrong with someone I disagree with.
There is much Ignorance these days. Moreover there is a lack of will in people caring mixed with malicious intent is dangerous.
H

Originally Posted by happiedasiy

I agree with you George and most of your opinions.
I like the matter of fact verses matter of biased opinion.

I can respect the fact that some people may swayed to think one way, If the issue is important enough, all I can do is state what I know.
And leave it alone.

There is a sliding scale for me to say there's something wrong with someone I disagree with.
There is much Ignorance these days. Moreover there is a lack of will in people caring mixed with malicious intent is dangerous.
H

Wait... you mean you disagree with some of my opinions? j/k
I hate to admit it but I'm very capable of being vindictive if pushed too hard. The urge wears off quickly tho.
Its good to see you post... that's my opinion

[Thunder Bow]

This is a case of Judgement vs. Understanding. If you say to someone "What Is Wrong With You" that implies Judgement. Accusations are usally Judgements.

It is better to try to understand someones point of view first, then debate it with out making accusations. You can agree or disagree with out judging the person personally. Also understanding can give you a more complete picture, of that persons point of view. Understanding it does not mean you have to agree with it.

I think it depends on what we are talking about here. If someone has a different political view than I then I will try to tolerate them. They are a racist, religiously intolerant, homophobe then I have no time for them - and I'll let them know it. I won't tolerate someone being an *****. If you can't keep a conversation, then I agree with anonymous. It is not normal to be a douche

[littleowl2006]

I love your last sentence rcat

[Tauren]

I only know one person like that and I'm pretty sure she has NPD. Strangers and acquaintances are allowed to disagree with her, but if any of her close friends don't treat her like the goddess of wisdom, she's all "YOU HATE ME" and cuts them out of her life.

[avlady]

i guess it's better off not associating with a person like that anyway Tauren!!

[Tauren]

Originally Posted by avlady

i guess it's better off not associating with a person like that anyway Tauren!!

LOL, I know, she sets off every alarm bell I have. I've always kept my distance, but unfortunately some people I care about a lot have not been so lucky. In fact the havoc she's wreaked with my friends is what brought me to Psych Central in the first place.