a melting pot of disorders [long post]

I'm not really sure where to post this but I am in need of advice, and the knowledge that I am not alone.

I have been recently diagnosed with:

1. An unspecified anxiety disorder
2. An unspecified depression disorder
3. ADHD (got this when I was 8)
4. Autism spectrum disorder (Asperger's)
I also have obsessive-compulsive tendencies and PMDD.

-I am not medicated but I am seeing a therapist regularly.
Sometimes I feel like I am not benefiting from the sessions, but that is more on me than her.
- I am very reluctant to try medications due to a long history of them. I've been on over 20 different medications in 16 years for mental illness; they started when I was 8.
-I do "smoke" just before bed. I find that I have a difficult time sleeping if I don't, and the calming effects usually last into the next day.

Here is my experience:

- I cannot seem to shake the anxious intrusive thoughts, constant fear, depression... all of it. I seem to be stuck in a negative mindset. My outlook on life is very bleak, though I really do make an effort to be positive. It is, however, short-lived and requires energy that is being wasted by my brain to support the disorders.
- I push and pull at my loved ones, especially my boyfriend of 10 months. He's been extremely supportive and compassionate but he has his own health issues and I feel awful by putting so much strain on him.
- I have been somewhat socially isolated for about a year. I have no local friends but I do have friends in Canada where my boyfriend lives, and also a scant few scattered across the United States. I am very introverted and have issues with going out to crowded places to try and make friends.

I work a full time job, four 10's with three days off in the middle. I also attend an online university with an accelerated degree program, taking a new course every five weeks. My diet isn't all that great but it's not awful either. I eat healthy whenever possible and drink only water and unsweetened tea. I go to work, come home, talk to my boyfriend, and go to bed.

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If you read all that, thank you.

Does anyone else have these same issues? How do they affect your daily life, specifically if you are not medicated?

I do not have the same dxs as you, but i am also dxd with multiple issues..6 psychiatric, 2developmental, 1-3physical depending i guess if head trauma is the cause and others symptoms? Idunno. and posdibly 2 neuro.. cant get imaging and other tests until the fall.... also physically seperated from my SO who i love very much... im sorry i forgot what i was trying to write... But Hi! nice to meet you!

Hi ebatts,

I don't have the same issues as you, but I too am diagnosed with many psychiatric disorders (Borderline Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Depressive Personality Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety not otherwise specified, Eating Disorder not otherwise specified - with BPD being definitely my main issue). Just to say you're not alone.

I too have taken around 20 psychiatric meds throughout my life, and am still taking two. I have gone unmedicated for some time but I was out of control. I'm actually unsure whether my meds are helping me since I am so dysregulated in any case, but I guess I would be even more so without them.

Hello! It is good to know I'm not alone in the realm of having a lot of disorders. I also have head trauma, I forgot to add that.

Oh wow Those have all got to be rough to deal with. How do you manage?

I have thought about going back on Zoloft because it is good for depression, OCD, and anxiety. Meds scare me but I may not have another option.

Hey ebatts,

Thanks for the hug Actually, it's hard for me to cope, especially in this particular moment. I've been really out of control for the past two months, it's been very hard. But I hope a good therapy will help me one day.

Good luck with the Zoloft, if you decide on taking it - I took it for years and it was a pretty good antidepressant for me.

Hi Chuva. I don't know much about how mh is viewed or treated in Italy, but I highly suggest DBT. It is a group and individual therapy that was developed specifically to for BorderlinePD. I was in an intensive program outpatient bi weekly for 5 yrs. It helped me emensely. Check it out online. Find out if there are any certified DBT therapist in your area.. if not you many be able to find a specialist who does Skype seasons. It's hard work..but the results are so worth it. ... if you need to order a wookbook, I Highly suggest the 1st addition.. the 2nd addition, IMHO, is just poorly reworded and makes the whole process far more confusing. Be Safe. Good Luck and I hope you find some relief and proper care soon.

Thank you so much, Lost in the woods! That was very kind of you

In fact, I am waiting for my pdoc to call me in order to understand if I can start DBT. It's not in my area, nor is it close to where I live (it's actually about 250 km far from here), but I think it'll be worth it. Unfortunately there are only about 5 institutes which offer DBT here in Italy.

Even though these are all separate issues in their own respect, they are all actually symptoms of Asperger's. Common symptoms of Asperger's include:

Behavioral: aggression, compulsive behavior, fidgeting, impulsivity, repetitive movements, social isolation, or persistent repetition of words or actions
Mood: anger, anxiety, or apprehension
Also common: depression, intense interest in a limited number of things, learning disability, nightmares, or hyper-sensitivity.

The symptoms of Asperger's and ADHD are similar and overlap significantly. Most people on the spectrum have ADHD symptoms.

So it may not be so much a melting pot of disorders as it is a host of symptoms caused by Asperger's. If that makes you feel better at all!

Hello. I just wanted to say I agree with you. I was recently diagnosed with autism, and most of my psychiatric conditions are probably stemmed from autism. You can see my list below of things.

Social anxiety disorder, ASD, GAD, OCD, and panic disorder

Lexapro, 10 mg; Ativan 0.5 mg PRN