Wife suffering from nervous breakdown

We're doing pretty good, considering.

Oh gosh, this must be so stressful on you too.

This is not the answer you want to hear... In most cases it takes far longer than 4 days for one's full diagnosis to come to light. These initial days are about stabilization. The hospital won't let her go until that happens. They may even wish to hold on to her until she shows improvement beyond that.

In the meantime, you need to look after yourself - don't ever forget your own needs and to keep an eye on your own mental health. Take advantage of the psych nurses and other staff to bounce your feelings off of.

Investigate whether there is a support group or support services for friends and loved ones of those getting care. Often these happen right in the hospital itself. My own father and son attended one of these and it quite benefited them; not only in learning about the illness and what is to be expected to come, but sorting out their own feelings about it.

She was actually at the psych unit in Florida for 3 weeks. I hope that the hospital here will be able to work with us more. She's suffering some type of paranoid personality disorder and not allowing doctors to tell anybody anything about what's going on.

She is hospitalized now? Hopefully you will be kept more in the loop this time.

She's not hospitalized. She's living her life on the couch at home. They should not have released her in Florida. She would not speak to me or my daughter yesterday, since we both have tried to get her to take her medicine and see a doctor. Her sister came by and tried to go along with her delusion that she's been poisoned to see if she would go to the hospital, but she was just angry that she came without calling and refused to go to the hospital with her.

Our wedding anniversary came and went. We went out to eat with the kids to celebrate. She did not wear her wedding ring, nor has she since she's been home.
We had another opportunity to have a psychiatric assessment at the ER a couple of weeks ago when she thought that she had suffered multiple aneurysms. Though the ER doctor prescribed a few doses of an anti-psychotic "for headache and nausea," and he and the assessor both strongly recommended seeing a psychiatrist, she doesn't remember it that way and has refused to even see a neurologist, which the ER doctor also recommended.
She's opened up to me one time since then about her time in the psychiatric ward (detox, as she calls it), and has apologized for accusing me of poisoning her, but she still thinks that nothing is wrong and that someone had poisoned her.
I've tried talking to her about our relationship and asked her to go to marriage counseling with me as well, but she refuses.
Sadly, I'm realizing that she's been this way for over ten years. It's just gotten incrementally worse. The hardest part for me is the lack of affection and prospect of a celibate life with a dysfunctional partner.
After 22 years of marriage, with three kids still in high school, I'm strongly considering divorce.

Although it probably seems like years to you, with all that you have had to deal with, her nervous breakdown is actually a fairly recent event. Her refusing to get the help which she has been encouraged to get would also be very frustrating.

All this stress, along with trying to maintain a job and family life, is a huge weight to carry.

You may decide to get a divorce at some point, but I would caution against going forward with this immediately. Your emotions are high and changing right now, and she may be totally different a few months from now than she is today. Give yourself and her recovery more time before making a final decision with this.

Have you considered going to a therapist for yourself to help you work through the stress these events have caused? I ask because guys don't typically give emotional support to each other like women do. ("Sheesh, my wife is still acting weird"/"Yeah, wives live to make us miserable. Wow, did you see that pass by Prescott?)

Who knows, she may even decide to go after she sees you going.

I've considered getting therapy myself, and I might still do that.

What compounds the problem is that she has been opposed to psychiatric medicine and refusing any medical attention for herself for over ten years, and we had already been considering divorce before the first acute episode.

My heart goes out to you, your wife and your entire family. This must be so difficult.

Sometimes the sicker we are, the more we resist medications. I've been there so FEEL for your wife.

But you have got to do what is best for you and your family. Maybe leaving would force your wife's hand and she will accept treatment. Maybe she never will and will decline further with nobody around to help. It's not a pretty picture either way.

I believe in for better or for worse but I've never been on your side of the fence so I make so judgements.

Take care of yourself, your family and try to be as kind as possible to your wife. She really has no clue what is going on. It is very scary to live in her head....I know because I've had some very similar experiences to hers.

Be kind to yourself and I'm so sorry you are in such a position.

I'm really sorry for both you and your wife... you have all of my support I'd suggest a therapist for yourself, too... you need to be strong

Please, anytime you wanna talk/vent, remember we're here to support you and listen to you

Has your wife been diagnosed? Something triggered her acute break down and she's not thinking rationally. Unfortunately, it's up to you to find help for your wife.