Attachment Disorder

Can you have an attachment disorder/problem even if you've had a good childhood with loving parents?

I forgot to add some background context: I'm a freshman in college and I've only made one friend. I have a really hard time forming connections and trusting most of my peers. However, the few people I do trust I get overly attached to. I have no major problems with my family and I have a great relationship with my one best friend.

I looked up adult attachment styles and identify with the avoidant attachment style when meeting new people. I find that I'd rather avoid a relationship at all than face the pain of rejection. I also have social anxiety, so this of course doesn't help me make friends.

As a child, I grew up with a loving mother and father and a good family atmosphere. I just don't understand how I could have such extreme trust issues when I have had such a great family.

I do think it possible.

I think perhaps this might be a case of seeking the comforts of having such positive experiences at home. You are away from that and the strings must still be pulling at you.

How were your relationships outside of family while growing up? Did you make friends with your peers easily? Were you - gotta ask - awkward then or perhaps a loner? Did you have opportunity to develop relationships and gain skills?

I have advised people before that perhaps observation is the best tool in such situations. Watch the people around you for how they carry themselves socially - especially their non-verbal comunication. Gaining confidence in your own social interractions I think would result in them becoming healthier, reducing your need to 'latch' on as you have indicated, and becoming more comfortable with the down time between interractions, and strengthen those you have.

Thanks for replying to my post. I actually realized that I've had a constant pattern of forming close friendships with people and having them taken away. For example, in fifth grade, I told this girl she was my best friend, and she moved away the following summer. The exact same situation happened the following year. Also, in seventh grade, I had joined a new group of girls, and one of them suddenly started hating me and went behind my back and told the other girls to kick me out. This is probably why I don't trust peers my age, but I'm fine with family and very close friends who have proved their loyalty to me.

I very much recognize this in my own experiences. But, I have the opposite issue. Instead of latching on I just can't take the next step in progressing from an acquaintanceship into a friendship. I find I have very many acquaintances and no one I can actually call - or I'm afraid to call - a friend.

I wonder if there is a middle ground, eh?

I suppose perhaps looking for and recognizing social cues might be in order for both of us.