[Ashsforever]

I'm not exactly sure where to post this, so i'm going to do it here..

I have been struggling with this for a long time, after 8 years of bullying I assumed I was just socially awkward but it's more than that.

I feel almost unable to do tasks as other people do, and i'm unable to perform it to the same ability especially at work. All my words seem to combine, and many people have no idea what i'm trying to say.

People seem to steer away from me, and not want to have a conversation or be friends.

I also seem to be socially awkward to the extent where i'm unable to make friends, or join groups.

I have a lack of moral in which I don't believe in or fully trust the morals that I am suppose to believe.

Please help me, I'm really struggling in this!

[Skeezyks]

Hello ashesforever: I'm sorry you are struggling with this. I was also a target of bullies for the better part of 4 years, many years ago now, when I was in high school. And I can tell you, from personal experience, you never do get over it completely. At least I never have. You didn't mention if you're seeing a therapist. If not, I'd like to strongly encourage you to do so.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Here are links to some articles on the subject of social anxiety, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some interest:

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/a...rder-symptoms/

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/a...der-treatment/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/socia...ocial-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/6-ways-...ocial-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways...ocial-anxiety/

And then, also, here's a link to an article with regard to low self-esteem:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do...ly-affect-you/

One forum, here on PC, you may want to check out (assuming you haven't already found it) is the anxiety, panic & phobias forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxiety-panic-phobias/

But then there are, of course, a lot more too.

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to continue posting. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

Welcome!

I am not quite clear what you mean by mentally 'challenged' for this is a term I would use to describe an individual with cognitive impairment. Do you mean instead mentally 'ill' or emotionally challenged because this has a different connotation.

How long have you struggled with this? Does it go back to childhood or is it more recently acquired?

Do you take any medications? These often slow us down cognitively.

My recommendation is to find ways to challenge yourself both socially and mentally. It could be something as simple as puzzles, it could be finding support groups, it could be reading outside of your usual interest.

I feel as though my medications impair my own cognitive performance. I mix up words, my ability to think and problem solve has deteriorated, and sometimes holding on a conversation is difficult. I try to get myself out and around people though so as to 'practise' conversation. I down load puzzles and math problems and drills.

[Thunder Bow]

Going by how well you write, you are not challenged at all. Those who Bully you are the challenged ones. They want attention , and they want to control you. Do not compare yourself to others.

Hi Ashsforever, I agree with Thunder Bow. From what you write here, you seem quite intelligent. You write quite well too. Perhaps you can seek help with a doctor, psychologist, or even a neurologist. I'm not sure what your symptoms point to. It could be, that you have social anxiety, low self esteem from bullying, and perhaps perceive yourself in a way that is inaccurate. If you're young, perhaps you're just finding your way. Anyway, here's a hug: