[Mountaindewed]

Or is it just a coincidence?

I am a strong believer everything happens for a reason. Unless it’s death. That’s not always clear to me. Sometimes it is though. And I have some pretty big life events that would not have happened if everything wasn’t meant to happen.

For example my sister didn’t get into Brown University. She was so heartbroken. But she met her husband at the college she went to. And they are happily married and have 2 kids. If she had gone to brown, she wouldn’t have had my nephews and I would never have known my brother in law.

My therapist told me today she doesn’t always like that saying.

[Mendingmysoul]

Nothing is a coincidence. The universe has mysterious ways. Everything happens for a greater good. Such beliefs keep us rooted in hope. Seems true.

[Werewoman]

Not at all. Everything is random. To me, there's just too much bad in the world for it to happen for a reason.
I work with foster kids and I've read their files and the ordeals they were put through at the hands of people they should have been able to trust, but instead found themselves suffering a whole litany of abuses. I'm sorry, but you can't convince me that these children's suffering "happens for a reason".

[divine1966]

Things are random. But when good stuff happens it’s kind of nice to feel that happened for a reason. No harm in a fantasy about “meant to be” when good stuff happens. It’s a fantasy. It all goes out the window when disasters hit.

My daughter is getting married to a wonderful man. She is a widow. Her late husband died in an accident. There was no reason for him to die, he obviously didn’t die so she could meet her fiancée and get married again. It just how it played out. But it could also play out that she’d never meet A or never meet anyone to marry again or meet some other person. Some things happen because we make it happen and some just randomly occur.

PS same as werewoman I work with vulnerable populations. Things didn’t happen to them for a reason. No reason

[Nammu]

No.

.........

[buddha1too]

On the whole, I don't think everything happens for a reason. Every once in awhile, however, something will happen that I can't explain.

My aunt (with whom I was particularly close -- she had no kids of her own) died last month. She was in assisted living & being cared for by a hospice nurse in her last week. I received a call on a Sunday informing me she'd stopped eating & might die within a matter of days or weeks. I immediately jumped in my car & made the two-hour drive to the assisted living center. I arrived & was able to make a bedside visit, whereas window visits were the only thing allowed before. I entered the room, held her hand, looked deep into her eyes & she stoppped breathing five minutes later. After that long drive, I was able to be there for her passing with five minutes to spare. What if there had been heavier traffic, or if I'd stopped for a cup of coffee? It was a strange occurance which I am grateful for.

I'm not religious at all, & am generally skeptical. This event, however, still makes me reflect. Like Werewoman & divine1966, I realize that there's too much unexplained evil in the world to assign reason to everything. My final visit with my aunt last month, however, gives me pause to think.

[MickeyCheeky]

i'd consider myself Christian so i generally believe there's a reason for things happening but i don't know what that may be. Truth be told i often have doubts about that myself so i am not quite sure what to answer here. Thank you for posting this insightful question as i tend to agree with you and @Mendingmysoul but it is interesting to see other viewpoints at least in my opinion. Sending many safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @Mountaindewed, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Mendingmysoul]

Since I belong to what you may call those who fell through the cracks,and never had help for some reason.I myself never reached out,even if I did it was me as a young child against most adorable adults that are my abusers.So I saw no reason to reach out.It only intensified my suffering. I had to figure out my survival.I did just that.Now that I reflect and realized that was really horrific and I didn't warrant that, it makes me wonder how am I still alive .I should have been dead a long time ago.That makes me wonder the universe has some mysterious ways and it had my back when people didn't . The universe showed me the right survival skills.So I am here alive and doing ok.I too lost my belief in my faith for a brief period.Why did God allow such cruel things to happen to me.( a child).?I did have a couple of adults who took care of my basic needs once in a while.God send ,maybe??Those people are the reason I didn't starve to death.I am thankful for them.
It is always good to hear other's opinions. It makes me grow as a person.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I have so often reflected on a series of events and realized their connection to each other which produced an outcome that was rather dependent on things happening just the way they did. I do find God works in very mysterious ways in my life. (I completely realize many people do not hold those beliefs and that doesn't change my perspective particularly.) I think we see things as we see them.

[Mountaindewed]

Kinda strange but I was having a really really tough time with video sessions this whole time. But now as a result of them I’m able to see a therapist 3 hours away. So being able to switch now will help me so much in so many ways. If video sessions were not a thing I would have had to continue to suffer with these feelings of frustration with my current T or not have therapy at all until I move.

It may just be a person to person type thing.

I also was too lazy to drop my application off at one particular store. And the store I did decide to randomly drop it off was the place that ended up hiring me. I went in and was just about to leave after handing in my application and the store manager just happened to be there and asked if I had a sec for a quick interview. A week later I got the call saying I was hired.

That may be irony though.

[annoyedgrunt84]

No I in fact find it more comforting to believe that some random things do happen in life, I guess I just have always failed to see what some people find so comforting in seeing so much as predetermined.

[Schroeder]

I think the idea that there's a meaning, reason or purpose for things can be very alluring and that's why a lot of people go that way. We want to explain and give context to the suffering and hardships of life.

But I just don't see it, we just live in a world and things happen around us. Sometimes good, others terrible, often somewhere in between without much rhyme or reason.

[mote.of.soul]

I think ultimately in the much wider scheme of things, and I'm talking about spiritual planes, other dimensions of reality, higher beings, a living conscious universe if you will - that ultimately, at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason, yes. Everything definitely has causes and those causes do produce specific outcomes. But that's all I'll say on this matter as from that point, we begin to venture into the realms of 'fringe' thinking and forming one's own views - which is important. But I do believe there's a reason for everything, yes.

sure.

I also believe that if something is going to happen, don't interfeere with it.

but I guess that goes along with my first belief.. if it's happening for a reason, let it happen

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

I think ultimately in the much wider scheme of things, and I'm talking about spiritual planes, other dimensions of reality, higher beings, a living conscious universe if you will - that ultimately, at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason, yes. Everything definitely has causes and those causes do produce specific outcomes. But that's all I'll say on this matter as from that point, we begin to venture into the realms of 'fringe' thinking and forming one's own views - which is important. But I do believe there's a reason for everything, yes.

So tell me, what possible reason could there be for a mother who abuses and torments her own child? How about the kids who live on the streets because it's safer than going home? What about the foster kids wondering if they'll ever get a forever home? How about Jonathan, a boy I once knew who was repeatedly raped by his mother's boyfriend, so the state of FL gave him to his bio dad who handcuffed him to the bed and beat him with a belt. He was so traumatized, he knocked out his own teeth himself. What about the baby who dies in a trashcan because his mother threw him away? Tell these children the reason they had to suffer and die.

Tell those of us that all the horrific things we somehow managed to survive happened for a reason.

I respect your point of view, I just don't happen to agree. At all.

[AliceKate]

I would like there to be a reason, but I cannot think of any that is good enough to call it a morally good reason. I can imagine a lonely God creating life and while I think that a splendid reason, I do not think it is a morally good one. If anything, I would think it morally nutural to bad, as life is hard and there is no point to it except for the people that you care about and those that care about you.

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

Tell those of us that all the horrific things we somehow managed to survive happened for a reason.

I respect your point of view, I just don't happen to agree. At all.

Well, I don't think you do respect my point of view otherwise you would've just let it go without any fuss. We must be honest from the git go @Werewoman.

I'd just like you to know I suffered childhood abuses and too much trauma too, which affected my path through life significantly, as well.

But finally, I'm not interested in using this thread to debate my post but just to answer the OP's question.

Are you okay with that, dear?

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Well, I don't think you do respect my point of view otherwise you would've just let it go without any fuss. We must be honest from the git go @Werewoman.

I'd just like you to know I suffered childhood abuses and too much trauma too, which affected my path through life significantly, as well.

But finally, I'm not interested in using this thread to debate my post but just to answer the OP's question.

Are you okay with that, dear?

Sorry, but for me the kids are always first. I was stating facts. If that translates to 'making a fuss', oh well. I was not disrespectful. I merely disagreed.

I'm sorry you have such hard feelings. It was not my intention.

[UnpopularTiger]

Only in the sense of cause-and-effect; there is no "higher purpose" for anything - only the purpose people put into their own actions.

[RoxanneToto]

I think everything is random, even the most remarkable things that happen because things just unfolded in such a precise way as to allow for the event to happen as it did, when that chain of events could so easily have been broken. There are many remarkable things that could have happened, but didn’t because the chain reaction stopped somewhere, that we can’t even imagine!
I understand why some people do see a reason for everything, but with all due respect it’s kind of magical thinking. I don’t see a good, objective reason why, essentially, some people are “favoured” by random events (or good relationships, lucky escapes, etc) while others, who might be equally or even more deserving, aren’t.

[Travelinglady]

yes.....

[LuvsHorses]

I believe that a lot of things happen for a reason. For example, I moved from a small city to a very large one - uncharcteristic of me - to get away from my ex. While there, my step mother became terminally ill. Since I then lived closer to them, I was able to see them regularly and I mended fences with her (before she got sick) which I may not have done from a large distance. After she died, I was able to be there for my Dad.

[Amyjay]

I definitely do not think that things that happen occur for some 'greater reason'. In a literal sense things happen because of events that occurred prior and precipitated an event. My father was an abuser because he experienced childhood abuse with not enough protective experiences to offset it, and likely had a genetic predisposition to not be able to psychologically overcome those events.

I developed DID because when i was in utero my mother experienced overwhelming stress, which caused hormones to flood through me as a developing fetus, which affected my neural development making me susceptible to developing a dissociative disorder later in life. The abuse which my father then heaped upon me from early childhood onwards then triggered said dissociative disorder and a lifetime of living with the effects of 'catastrophic developmental trauma'.

Don't anyone try and shytt me that I'm living this phukked up life for some divine "reason".

[RoxanneToto]

I feel like when people say something happened for a reason, they’re invoking some kind of fallacy. There’s so much stuff that happens that doesn’t make sense, but good, bad, or indifferent, all events have equally random precipitated events leading up to them. Do people ever keep the negative events that happen in mind when they say this?
I did comment earlier but don’t think I worded it in a way that made sense without getting bogged down in detail. This article on the subject was also an interesting read!
Let Go Of The Myth That Everything Happens For A Reason: Try This Instead | Inc.com

[eskielover]

Yes, even though I may not see or understand the reason at the time. Many times it becomes clear much later on in life. This has happened to me throughout my life & at 68, I am starting to see & understand the reasons that were not clear to me earlier in life