just need to get this out

ok................. are these tests, am l being tested and pushed to my very limits just to see what will happen because right now this is so not funny l thought l was doing all the right things but now l am falling back to old thinking....am l being punished for something, is this what l deserve.

we have no money.............he has decided to quit his job ( so hey no maintenance) wanted me to write his quit notice, the phone rings none stop people wanting money, they are gonna take my house.......... the pnurse she keeps making apponiments with me then cancelling as something more urgent comes up.............we have no T right now cus she quit..........pdoc cant see me for months and dodnt know where will get money for next lot of meds from............... today they say cholesterol is high and blood sugars too all the proper food costs too much and then tonite he calls to say he will take back the car on friday

please please no more................this is so not funny and my strength and resolve is so low right now........................please someone anyone answer this cus l just want to give up right now

im sorry

Sas I'm so sorry this is all happening now ... when you've been so strong and getting on so well. Right, firstly don't think about all these things in one go ok? Deal one at a time ... you will be entitled to help somehow, do you rent? is it a mortgage? do you have any insurances on your mortgage? That's the first thing you need to find out, if you do they will pay your interest (my friends are going through this).

Secondly, go to your citizens advice bureaux, they were fantastic with me, they will advise you on what to do first .... come on Mandy you can do this, look at everything you have been through, the citizens advise are there to help FREE .... use them. I'm not sure about your details about the car? Is it on HP? pm me if you like with the details? Thinking of you hon, Kerry xxxxps dont sit worrying about it all, you'll make yourself worse, call the CAB first thing sweetie, try to relax tonight (I know it's hard)I've been through all this over the last year ... I know how you feel xxxx

You are in my thoughts.

no... I don't know exactly how you feel, hunny... but I do know you're hurting bad. If there was a way for me to help you practically - I would - in a fly. I feel for you every day... I listen to your voice of despair filled with tears... I hear you scream when you feel you've had enough... BUT...
I also hear you tell me about all you do for you and your children... how you manage to sort out one thing after another... how you stand up for YOU.

yes... he's an i d i o t... he's a heartless man with no spine... like a boy still on his mama's lap... BUT you are a strong woman who've had to struggle in life... been hurt in so many ways... still your heart is the most precious one. Your heart could never turn cold. You are not him. You are Mandy... and now you're on the road of self discovery as being a human being not having to live in fear.

The road is rocky... slippery... yes... still - you're no quitter. You will defeat and win battle after battle.
Let us walk beside you - even if only with words... please.
We're all on your side pulling for you!



/N

(((((((((((((((((( sas ))))))))))))))))))

Dear SilentandScared ~ You voiced the very idea that I had earlier today - that I was being punished for something. I am not sure who the "he" is that you refer to, but it doesn't sound like he is a good influence on your life. Are you able to work? Are you on disability? If "he" is not contributing, maybe "he" could go elsewhere? Do you have the inclination tlo suggest this? You ARE not being punished! Remember - Bad things happen to good people - perhaps more so, because good people are often not inclined to aggressively discard what is in the way and go after what they need. Bless You, Silent ~ be silent no more, if this would help your situation. I care deeply for you after following your posts and getting to know you. You are a good person, with no reason to be punished!~! billieJ

ok l am sorry for just blurting all this out but here goes

after 14 years of an abusive marriage l told him to leave ..........couldnt stand no more he sees the kids at the weekend. He left the house , the debts , the mortage everything. ok so we will et through this we knew it would be hard..................l am just finished one job but they held back my money which was a long stort to it..............then he didnt pay any money for the kids said he has other stuff to sort out..............then he phones to say he is quitting his job and can l write the letter for him.............ermm well no l cant and then he phones to say he wants the car back its in his name but that is after he has made me pay a further insurance installment which is now a waste of time.
my pnurse she said she would help................has she NO in fact each appointment just before she is due to get here there is a phone call saying some crisis has come up............... something / someone more imporatant to sort out............. the phone never stops ringing , the tax credits/ government are not interested the claim is 'being processed'
i have no T cus she quit...........pnurse supposed to be doing referral to new one but she aint done it.............no appointments with pdoc for months and no money to pay for next months drugs.
l am due to start a new job but the crazy thing is l need money to gt to work its too far to walk

so...............he is not at the house no more, nor is he paying for the kids or anything, in fact he has just quit his job l believe so he wont have to pay or maybe l am just being cynical..........................but if this is what happens when you make the abuse stop its no wonder that people just dont do it.

I am sorry that this is all spilling out today but its been a very bad bad day