Daily Comments #5- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

Another infected tooth and two specialist referrals from my doc.
I'm coming to the conclusion that I can't afford to live anymore

I just baked muffins! Yum for me and my sons.

I like muffins . But cinnamon buns are better!

I @#!! up constantly...but juggle everything reasonably well for all that. I have to remind myself that were it not for my illness related difficulties I might well be doing great instead of reasonably well.

Why couldn't I? Without the roadblocks much would be possible that isn't now. Gives me some incentive to carry on. If I manage poorly now and 'get by' then it can't but improve if symptoms/difficulties are reduced.

I have to remind myself as I said. Easy sometimes to forget that. Easy to discount it sometimes too when I'm in a rut.

But it's truth can't be denied...it's that even when the days are bad. I can get better. Better doesn't mean, out of the box new, without fault or blemish. It just means better.

Have a good day every friggin' one of ya...smiles kisses hugs...the works...use what ya can and share the rest. Yahahahaha...!

Just angry, so angry. Angry at stupidity, angry at the world, angry at ignorance. Getting angrier by the minute

OMG stood in line 1 hr 15 mins to vote last night...more happy that I was able to stand without getting dizzy for that long (first time since my injury in January) AND I did not have to wear earplugs in the court office today...My Post Concussion Syndrome might FINALLY be leaving me after 11 months...OMG YES!!!!!!!

My spine...needs to be removed...
smashed to bits...
with a rather heavy hammer... [a sledge perhaps ]
powdered and moulded

into a new model..
oiled and greased with care
re-installed
and provided with a warranty

guaranteeing

pain free pivots
a la cirque de soleils best
....on their worst days even.

Yep.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just go to the local drug store and pick up a replacement part for the human body like we do for cars?

I can sympathize, even though I don't know your circumstances surrounding your back. I broke mine twice and my spine has given me trouble ever since. Sometimes my back hurts so bad that when I lay down and try to get back up again I have to shuffle, I can't even walk properly.

I thought this was a poem at first...it makes for a good one anyway.

On another note I have no thoughts other than 'blah' for today.

You said so very well what it seems a lot of us feel. Thanks.

I just found out my mum is flying down with my godmum for my back surgery and I'm so happy not to have to face this alone.

I hate ladders.

Glue sticks really piss me off!

-Fleeing Bellocq, Mise of the Mission District

I hate people who are rude to fast food workers. I did that for years and it is hard work. Just because they work at McDonald's doesn't mean they're stupid and less deserving of your respect. Before I got a job in my field, I worked in fast food and retail, and I have an advanced degree. These people work very hard for a living and don't deserve to be treated like they're second class citizens because of their situation in life. Same goes for cashiers and retail workers, whether an entry level employee or a manager. It's a hard job sometimes and after standing on your feet for 8 hours a day it's really crappy to have to deal with rude customers. So you're buying for your business, you own your own business, that doesn't give you the right to treat the store workers like crap. I am grateful to be out of that field and into my field I studied for, and I totally understand how the fast food and retail workers feel. Standing behind the counter taking orders doesn't mean that person didn't get an education. Maybe they were handed a bad deal in life and this is all they could get right now. Maybe they're a mother or father with children they're trying to support. Show a little respect people.

AMEN toki!!!!!!!! I AGREE! (I was in foodservice/coffeeshop for 15 years until I got my M-F desk job.)

I worked at a coffee shop too! I loved that place, all the espresso we could drink I also worked at McDonald's for a long time, then the best job I had out of all of them, before my job now, was at Lowe's. I loved that place. But some of the customers were horrible. They think they're so big and important that they have to make it a point to ruin your day and try to get you into trouble. I never got into trouble, but there were some who I know were deliberately trying to egg us on.

Some of the customers were so unbelievably rude I thought management must have sent them around to test us and see if we would lose our temper. I like my job at the senior mealsite. No long hours and the people are very nice. My Mom is sick today, I'm glad it was a short day at work.

As I have had to sell my 4 wheeled vehicle this leaves me with my moto-bike. As this be the onset of winter...this leaves me with a bicycle...and my own two feet.

Long winter nap for the puttputt coming in a coupla days. I am going to miss driving anything for a few months. The mountain bike will serve as my main transport. The next 2 days or so will see nice temperatures...then it's done. This year was tough...I didn't get the motorcycle on the road until August due to financial poo.

Haha...so who can blame me for stretching this out as long as I can? This winter shall be devoted to cussing and bicycling/stomping thru the drifts and ultimately getting a little fitness in. I'm not unhappy with this. I usually walk a lot in the winter anyways.

But there will be an adjustment period. I expect vigorous cussing until Christmas...then I'll be in th' groove. Walking/bicycling is something I should be doing year round. Getting older after all...need that stuff. It was just so damned entertaining to ride on top of a motor. Won't miss 4 wheels tho...never was much of a car guy.

Bring on the melts of April! *tick tock tick tock tick....*

This is why my new job now is so good for me. With winter coming on now, my work is just down the hill from my home, a five minute walk. This will help in winter weather. The work is overnight, so I don't have to deal with customers. The only problem is that since there are so few of us working at night, and no management is on overnight, is can become kind of gossipy at times, or mellow dramatic since fewer work behaviour rules are in place at night time. Due to this, rumours tend to fly between night crew and mgmt, who is never there to see what is actually going on. I tend to just keep my mouth shut, do my work and try to smile through it all but it can make you want to scream at times.

Believe it or not I have NEVER had a cavity. From what others have told me this is an accomplishment and an uncommon one. Still, I am always so self-conscious about having crooked teeth, because I can't afford braces. Makes me feel so hideous . Smile and it's like, "CROOKED!"

It is going to be the third night in a row without much sleep. I do this at least once per semester. Sleep deprivation is very hard on me so I try to avoid it. The last two weeks have been all about assignments and midterm exams. After my exam tomorrow, I am going home to sleep for at least 12 to 15 hours. I can't wait.

I'm ok. Life is ok right now. I have no control of outside influences. Nothing is EVER perfect and there is always room for improvement. My baby is healthy and happy again. I'm so thankful for my life... Which on bad days IDE call crappy. Thank you god! Please give me strength, courage, love and wisdom.

I think I need to deactivate my facebook

I have not always been this insecure but in the last three years I have become overwhelmingly insecure. Facebook I think just makes it even worse because I feel left out when people post they are doing this and that when I didn't get an invite or they doing so well and yada yada. Plus I find myself checking up on ex boyfriends and other things....argh I dunno but then I know I would find myself wondering.......grrrrrrr

Today I'm just watering so I can plant my thoughts tomorrow.

Having a smilen day. I wish the same for all of you.

I guess when you can see my sock through the work shoe, it is time to get new shoes