Daily Comments #7- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

Where is the air conditioning guy? We are OUT of the 4 hour window and I just know this is gonna suck. Let's get the pain over with.

I picked up a friend and we went to her doctor's appt. She has been so nervous and putting it off. Then we ran errands and had lunch, ran another errand (she finally found what she needed and was so excited! I am excited for her).

It was a pleasant morning / afternoon. We laughed and shared and talked about girl stuff. It was fun. I am so glad that she is so happy and that I was able to spend time away from the house, worrying.

As soon as I walked in my house, though, I felt fearful and anxious again. I need to call the hospital (again) for Kitteh update. I called earler when my friend and I were together (for moral support and courage) but the staff was at lunch. Meh.

Before I do call again, though, I think I found a new T. Just waiting for the office to call me back to schedule the appt.

Then I will call and check on Kitteh (Deep breath).

My stepfather should address his own multitude of failures before attempting to adress mine. Last I checked, I'm the employed one without a record, and I'm halfway through my undergrad studies. Tell me "pops," what've you done with your life? Waiting with bated breath.

is it me or is PC running rather slow today

I ran into so many frustrating situations today, one after another...it's been like this for a few days, and I can only take so much...I was really expecting for everything to sort of go to pieces, me included...

...But it didn't. I stayed calm, and settled for getting less done. I made changes to my plans, and realized I can just remain flexible.

None of it produced a mood drop, or a bad feeling in the pit of my head, or anxiety, tension, self-recrimination, or irritation.

This is progress!

*Randomness Alert*
I could use a visit to the Chinese Buffet
I need to get my watch fixed
I finally paid of that @#$&#@$%@!#$@^@# loan!!!!!
Could SHE be the one? Doubtful.
I need a trip to the beach...just me and the towel and the ocean.
Gonna try KC's new Rum...Blue Chair Bay Rum
It's time for a nap

I need to keep a closer watch on my friends list. Three of them are gone. Not "unfriended"... they are just gone. Flee is gone but that may be a good sign. I was worried she had "moved on" so to speak. If she deleted her acct then she must be okay. Mr Venomous is gone too. I'll miss both of them. Still working on who the third member was.

Bedobones?

I'll miss them too. Unique folks all of them.

Ive been told I ask too many questions too. lol A wise person once told me if you dont ask how are you going to know the answer.

Tired of locking myself in this damn house because of my insecurities..its like I'm in jail on work release.....wanna go shopping instead of doing it online....wanna go out with friends....wanna go check out this sushi place....wanna go grocery shopping...see a movie....go to the park....go swimming....go to the gym....shoot pool....I have about 3 or 4 places I go because I'm used to them to a certain extent....there are 2 convience stores I will go in, one drug store, work, and a salon I go to because I'm used to the estetician who does my eyebrows....on a rare occasion I traverse into other realms out of necessity but can't wait to leave......I'm really starting to get on my own nerves....I really wanted to go to clothes shopping today, hit up the vitamin shop, eat dinner at Fridays, check out a natural food store, buy a blender.....etc etc.....stayed home...did laundry.. played games on the phone, TV, stared at the stupid wall

I bought a ring through the internet from a Native American(Apache) gentleman "Eddie TwoMoons" in Albuquerque New Mexico. I sent my money to him after talking to him and getting to know him.He does beautiful work,incredibly beautiful work I like the idea of supporting a single artist. He told me it would take four weeks, which is okay , he has other things to do as well.He plays music and sent some to me to listen to along with a receipt for my ring."The Creation Ring" in silver. I talked to him today and he said another two weeks or so. I guess I'm a little excited and impatient. I hope he comes through for me, I trust that he will.

really, did a part of me really expect her (sister) to ask how I was doing?

I had a very interesting moment on the skytrain today, on the way home. I was looking out at the overcast sky, exhausted from my walk, in kind of a foggy head space, and I saw this slightly darker cloud that was lower and larger than the rest and I imagined it sucking everyone up into space. There was something else but I forget it now. It wasn't a wish, or anything like that. It was a moment of, Huh. In that one moment I felt like I was looking into something important. Like I was experiencing something out-of-this-world.

my bf dumped me and i am not upset could it be my pdoc is helping me more than I thought a year ago I would have been a mess. I am hurt and sad now but not suicidal and that is a big improvement. He belevies something different than I can explain right now and I wont be bullied about it. I miss him but I can explain it if he wants to listen; oh we will see.

I am so glad I didn't have anyone drug me in order to heal

I am thinking about retaking high school Physics. I don't know what's gotten into me. But I'm loving math. And I want to challenge myself. And I want to do something that feels good and for once, for ONCE, not do it because I 'should', 'have to', 'need to', or because 'it'll make money'.

You know i didn't reject you. I tried my very hardest, i kept trying to contact you even though you kept telling me you weren't interested. If you tell someone no enough times they have accept no as your answer. You can't keep teeling someone to clear off and then blame them for abandoning you.

I tried contacting you the other week, again i was told no, apparently it wasn't worth the risk. I'm sorry but i tried, i left the door open for you, said if you want to talk then let me know, i'd be so pleased to talk with you and see you. I think about you every day, i really loved you so much even though you wouldn't or perhaps couldn't believe me, i don't know which one. I have never given up on you and i never stopped loving you. But i can't ask again, you asked me not to contact you again, you said you were changing your number and email address. You hung up the phone on me. Seriously what do you expect me to do? If i ask again you'll just say no so what's the point?

This has to stop, it's not doing either of us any good. Either contact me or walk away and get on with your life. I have deliberately stayed away from PF because i know you go there. I came here for support instead and you follow me here and accuse me of deserting you, i didn't desert you, you asked to be left alone. Well i went with your wishes, don't blame me for doing what you asked of me. I can't do this anymore, please just let it go now, i have had enough, i don't want to do this anymore.

If you want to talk with me then please just call or email, my offer still stands. But if you don't want to talk with me then let go, go move on with your life, this is unhealthy. Stop saying i have abandoned you and then telling me to clear off when i contact you and ask to talk, it's either one or the other but it's not going to go on like this, it'll send us both potty.

I hope you are ok i really do, it's not empty words when i say i'll be there for you, i will, i mean it, but i'm no longer doing this endless type of communication via the internet which is going nowhere for either of us. If you really truthfully had any feelings for me then please do me this one favour. Contact me or move on, i don't mean this to be hurtful or harsh but this is not helping.

strange day... 2 sibling talks in one day ... what is going on.... My brother though, surprisingly - that was a better convo than my sister. Always glad he is doing ok even if just one day at a time.

Human-Powered ‘Rolling Home’ Rotates as You Run Around | Designs & Ideas on Dornob

odd, i never heard of this... "rolling home" ? ... hmmm..

Dangerous site to click...I was supposed to be on my way to bed--hours ago when I got stuck in the cool archives of design. Transparent aluminum has been created!! So cool. What a way cool site, thanks for this.

As for that rolling home...I have too much cargo, what with my art, art supplies & books alone they would be full up. I suppose I could go to a nook or kindle but I like my books. But my main question is where is the bathroom? If I have to leave my dwelling to use an outhouse it's no sale, but very zen.

I just love it oh so much when it's past 2 in the morning and I'm still wide awake.

It looks ugly outside. I should just take my meds and crawl into bed.

Woo Hoo VACATION! I will be on vacation all next week! I am so excited right now that its all I can do to pack up my desk and shut it down for the week!

I wish I had a sign that said---- I just cleaned this area up co-workers- if you make a mess clean it yourself- your not the customer.