Daily Comments #7- Just place to plant your thoughts. No feedback required.

Even though it had to happen and I should be glad I got out of an abusive relationship, memories are creeping in and what I deal with now, on my own with our son having to put up with his dads abusive cold voice to him, its so hard to know how to deal. I can and have made a complete break from my ex, but he will always be our sons dad. He talks about moving on with a new gf to my son, swears while talking to his son, and puts his own schedule and life before our sons. He has made him cry. I'm not encouraging our son to put up with his dad, yet I'm resented more if I refuse to let him see him. Sorry don't know why I'm venting here.

curseword curseword curseword...curseword curseword...
curseword...curseword curseword...curseword curseword curseword..........curseword...

ponder...

ponder ponder...

ponder ponder ponder....ponder.

Epiphany! Epiphany!

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copacetic.

calm.

Q

*sigh* why cant i escape this?

LMAO HURRY!! HURRY HARD!! SWEEP!!!

That is not a DAD. Sorry hun. but i had to say it. He may be the boy's biological father, but to me a DAD is something much more precious. My sons have a father too. He never was and never will be a DAD to them.

'Canadian Idiot' Hahaha! I near pissed meself!...Played it 3 times loud!

TY Mara and Nicks for the equation that brought me some serious chuckles...Weird Al...still goin' strong...!

oh...on a completely random note...NHL playoffs soon...must dig out drinkin' t-shirt and polish up the ol' 2 litre beer mug...

Yep...he's always been my favorite since the '80's. Even used him to teach parody in school and have every single thing he's ever done. It's funny that I don't know most of the originals but can sing the parodies word for word. Glad you enjoyed it.

Seriously.
I am just...so...tired...of having to work so freaking hard all the time. I feel like I'm always going to have some kind of problem. I feel like giving up, except I know where that takes me, so really I just feel stuck. Trapped. Help.

The kind of day I had today is like a great day at the beach....the kind where you never want it to end...the kind where you are so happy but not freakin, so grounded, so focused.....so help me if I could figure out how to have a day like this every day I could rule the universe....well OK maybe just the planet.

I hate it when someone unfriends me and I can't tell who it was. If you read this post would you remind me who you are?

I was listening to the Taylor Swift song "Twenty-two" this morning and I heard her sing the line "We'll dress like hipsters." For the longest time I thought she was singing, "We'll dress like hamsters."

I feel like doing something spontaneous today. I don't know what though. I like taking care of myself and doing what I need to do, but sometimes being in recovery really makes my life kind of boring and heavy.

I need to be more productive with my life. It seems depressing day in and day out to not have interests to talk about to my husband when he is so intellectual. Reading books I like to do, that's one thing and writing poetry is something that I have started doing again. I feel so defeated at times.

I've been isolated at home a very long time. An old friend from my high school days invited me over to see her new place and spend the night this past weekend. I was concerned about her following her divorce, but she has managed to move on with her life. A mutual friend from "back in the day" joined us. I guess you could say it was an old fashioned slumber party, emphasis being on old.

It felt so good to catch up with old friends in person, without the interruption of parents, children, grandchildren or even husbands, lol. Still, towards the end of the evening I began to miss my husband and looked forward to seeing him again the next day. He said he felt the same way. Yeah, even after 24 years together.....we got it bad, lol.

I think what I love most about going away is coming home with a renewed love and appreciation of home, even if it's just for a day.

My neighbours in the apartment next door have a relatively new baby in their home. The child cries so much that I wonder if it's in distress. It's starting to make me mad but I'm sure I'd become a pariah if I complained about a crying baby. Right?

Well I've got drilling snd construction workers looking right in my window all day so far. When will they be done. Curse word.
Nicks Nose, that was something I do know but helps to make it clearer. I just don't know what to do, I can't put my sons dad down all the time but its just facts. My son will eventually come to know the truth about his dad himself. I have enough love for the both of us for our son. I'm just so angry that his dad won't learn and realize how he has and is still hurting him.

I feel so hugely fat and bloated and repulsive

I'm manic, no question about it. Look out world!

I want to tell you that my ex and I put our daughter and her happiness before anything. My ex is already dating someone else...but he is very respectul of my relationship with my daughter. I want to date someone but with as much time as I want to spend with my daughter and as much time as I DO spend with her, there is no time for a relationship. I am desperately lonely and in real need for someone to call my own....but my kid is more important to me than that. As the guy who is responsible for the breakup of my marriage....I just wanted to tell you that I think you are right for the way you feel...and your sons dad needs a serious adjustment to his ways! Kids are sensitive to their parents words and dont need to be made sad by them.
I had to take a cold hard look at myself and my issues and make changes in order to have a better relationship with my daughter. I hope and pray that the light bulb goes off for your ex and he realizes how important he is to his son!

As the renter stuffs his face, he asks, "ooo waffles are easier and takes less time than making sausage and eggs.. " I grumbled, "it takes about the same time", but thinking and not saying, "what does it matter to you, I am the one standing and cooking breakfast and cleaning afterwards." Then he asks " did you make the waffles from scratch?"... I wanted to say , no they are the frozen ones, but I didn't because the waffle iron was cooling right next to the plate he was stuffing his face from....He stuffs his face then runs back upstairs and goes back to bed, but not before he asks me to "turn down the tv"......... ouch no comment cuz I tend to say bad words when irked in a certain way...

Look... I know his comments are "harmless". Just the way he said it "irked me big time"... Guess I never had anyone ever drill me on how I make breakfast.........I'll get over it.....no biggie... just wanted to say, that's all...

Either I am a difficult person or some folks just think that whatever they see and want is theirs too......... we usually keep the laundry soap in my bedroom because AJ doesn't want the renter using it. Well AJ did his laundry and forgot to put the Tide in my room, so the renter sees it and does his laundry..

I suggested to the renter that he needs to buy his own laundry soap and he said he bought some and used it once and it was gone.. ANd I laughed and said we didn't use it we always have soap and if you notice it is never in the laundry room because we keep it in my bedroom ,,, I blew it... Now I told him that every time e asked if we had laundry soap, I've lied, but I don't care........ EVERYTHNG here isn't his for his use... why are people like that.... They freaking take and take and take and take............ I SWEAR, I LIKE ANIMALS BETTER THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE.....

Look, this renter, "guy" isn't like a horrible person.. We have had a lot worse renters than than guy.. I don't know what it is about him that "pisses" me off... whatever it is, irks me big time

I think I understand what is happening..... ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL my life, it has always been, everyone goes before me, anyone can have anything of mine, because that is the "kind thing to do".. and I must do what you ask of me......you don't want to be "selfish, do you" You, meaning "me" have no rights...God forbid you say no.. How cruel that would be of you....Bottom line, I've been "walked on, walked over" most of my life, not because I'm stupid... Because I never had any rights, or believed that I had rights.. anyway ladaladlaldlallsdallllall

Well in my old age, all that stuff doesn't work anymore.. IF it is mine and I don't want to share it, I have that right... And I don't know what that makes me, but I don't care, because I choose/chose what I want to give and share because I want to, not because that is the "right thing to do" because I don't want to hurt your feelings..

I am more grouchy as I age... ANd I love it.. Most times I pretty much say what I want to say without all those pretty and sweet filters.....I think I may have earned my wings as a "*****"...

And my keyboard keeps skipping letters and that pisses me off too. ANd I want to cry and scream and tell everyone to "piss off".. shrugs shoulders

I feel hung over from too much thought....

What does a person do in a small town other than eat out? This place is so boring.

I am truly an impatient man. I have been working on myself for months now...probably will still be working on me till this time next year or longer. I just want to make peace with my life but every time I get past one thing I run smack into another.
So many times I sit and wonder how the hell I got here from where I was just 2, 3, 5 years ago. I really don't like where I am and I do not see me ever being truly happy again. And more than anything...I hope I get to be wrong about that too!
But for now I must trudge thru life, looking at the vast wasteland that is my past and compartmentalize it all and be the best dad I can to this amazing little girl of mine who is 7 and doesn't understand why I left, but loves her daddy so very very much. God please forgive me because I know I hurt her leaving by leaving her mama. Please don't ever let her think it was anything she could have possibly done! She is the breath in my lungs and the blood in my viens. I only wish it was possible for us to be a whole family again.