Fart Etiquette

bebop!...don't laugh your hiney off! from where would thou fart??????lol.....and davey...the visual on your post was hysterical! lol

BUT!!! (no pun intended!) HAVE YOU EVER LIT YOUR FARTS????

ok tomi.....i'm afraid to ask.....but how does one do this???????

Since my surgery my farts are quite rank. Don't know why but I can clear a room. My mom used to be that way but now her's don't smell as bad as mine.

Jbug

I played in bands with some guys who would light their farts...it's pretty easy...just curl up into position, flick your Bic and have at it!

For some reason I don't understand, they were all drummers!!!

DJ

LMBO!!!! you guys are soo funny.... I have never lit my farts... cant say that i have ever seen anyone do that...
hubby is the worlds worst about Oven farts... or doing it in the car and hold the window button so you cant roll the windows down.. he is not nice to me!!!!! he waits till i gag and then he will roll them down... just his way of expressing his love for me i guess.

i was always taught not to fart in public... if you need to then go to the restroom... so i hold it in... lol.. not good for the stomach but would be embarrassed if anyone heard me, lol

<font color="purple"> LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really needed these laughs today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I come from a family of proud farters as does my husband (well except his mom, whom even tho you hear her toot, she denies it 100% that she doesnt).... The ones I hate are the sneeze and squeeze.... usually that happnes when ya dont want it too in a public place or in a quiet room..... Only time I ever heard of lightening them afire was in the movie Wagons East!! Havent tried it though.... growing up we called them bouffers (booo-furs).... </font>

Sneeze 'n' Squeeze...lol!!! I hadn't heard that, and I thought I'd heard it all!

Just an aside, we used to call my sister Boofer or Boofus, but it came from my baby sister when she was tiny...boy, can I have fun with that!

Peace,
DJ

my sisters hubby use to catch farts in glass jars and lit them OMG talk about rank he could clear a navy base

.......

This THREAD should be called: Things to talk about when you are depressed on PC and need a lift.

Thanks....
LoVe,
Rhapsody -

My Daddy was always a big gasser when I was growing up..the usual "pull my finger"....But, Saturday grocery shopping was hilarious. We would all be going down an aisle, Daddy would let one rip, and then turned around to my Mom (making certain others in the area hear him) and say "Mary!!! How could you?". She would get soooooo mad!!!!!!!

*enters thread*

This thread, is a gas....

*exits quickly to avoid rotten tomatoes(which by the way, would most likely make you fart)

When I was a kid, my sister and I were eating breakfast in the dining room before school. Issuing forth from my parent's bedroom, at the complete opposite end of the house came the clarion call of my Father's morning blast...my baby sister calmly announced, "Daddy's awake"!!!

Need I say more?
DJ

Julia, DJ pretty much got it... except to tell you what the possition is. You can either bend over or do like David, my son, did... lay on the floor, put his legs up in the air and hold the lit lighter to his butt! You should see the flames he could throw!

My son isn't a drummer... but he plays the "washtub." LOL Guess I should tell you he also has a jug band.

My first husband would walk in front of me in the stores and when it was ripe, he'd tilt his left hip, his leg and let rip and keep right on going. Thing is, if I wasn't watching, I'd walk right into it. He'd also like to fart in bed, throw the covers over my head and hold them down.

I guess, looking back, the walking farts were funny. LOL

Best recipe for a fartin' good time the next day is:

6 hard boiled eggs, for smell
a half gallon of cooked beans, for volume
a six pack of beer, for fermentation.

This comes from experience living with Jerry and farting contests with his work buddies.

Phewwwwwww anyone have any Febreeze

Errrr Uhmmm this was an exerpt from Oprahs show on Friday.. Well at least on the website anyways From Dr Oz... OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* faints * lol

"On top of suggesting to Susan and Maureen to change their diets, Dr. Oz says that Susan and Maureen need to pass gas more often and not be ashamed—we all need to! Dr. Oz says that the average person passes gas 14 times a day—and less than one percent of it actually smells. He says it's so important that we start creating a "no embarrassment zone"—we need to pass this much gas!"

The funniest deptiction of farting was in ALONG CAME POLLY when Ben Stiller had an irritable bowel attack in Polly's apartment on the first date.
Patty

My best recipe is very similar to Tomi's above, with one critical addition...lots of pickled okra, adding both volume and a WONDERFUL vinegar edge that just can't be described!

A band I was in used to travel in two cars and a truck, with the musicians in the cars. One night, those of us that always rode in the singer's car stayed up partying, ingesting the recipe described...beans, beer, hard-boiled eggs and pickled okra. Well, I don't have to tell you how things were in the car the next day. In fact, the other guys who were behind us radioed up to say the they could tell whenever someone in our car farted...everyone's hair would fly up as we all hit the window buttons ASAP!!!! <rotflmao>

We did live to tell the tale, though!

DJ

This is not a post to read right after dinner!

Errrr Uhmmm this was an exerpt from Oprahs show on Friday.. Well at least on the website anyways From Dr Oz... OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* faints * lol

"On top of suggesting to Susan and Maureen to change their diets, Dr. Oz says that Susan and Maureen need to pass gas more often and not be ashamed—we all need to! Dr. Oz says that the average person passes gas 14 times a day—and less than one percent of it actually smells. He says it's so important that we start creating a "no embarrassment zone"—we need to pass this much gas!"

<font color="purple"> I learned about the 14 farts a day is a good sign from Nickelodean (sp??) There was a "info" mercial about farts , it was hilarious.... and for so long my kids and I had the secret 14 code, LOLOLOL..... Yeah, pretty bad when ya actually start counting pooofffsss!! LOL......
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