Is Anybody Lonely ?

Hi, my response is right below this post. I forgot to ask if you've ever considered going to therapy, that can be very helpful sometimes

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I am lonely but not alone. I have a husband. He is a good man but he is just does not connect with me. He just provides all the material things I need and calls that a marriage.

Sorry to hear that moxie..I was in the same boat when I was married

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Definitely not lonely...alone is so much better vs. when I have had to be around people...

Yes, I am lonely. Not particularly alone since I have family and friends, but I still feel extremely isolated.

I am almost convinced I am going to spend most of my life alone as well. I think the reason is that I have severe self-esteem and social anxiety issues, and so I push people away for many reasons. I have standards that I won't lower but they are too high for my worth. I am also very shy and don't reciprocate much so anyone wanting to get through to me has to be very persistent. So because of all of this I feel perpetually invisible and ignored. Yet I still crave a deep bond that I can share with someone which I do think would alleviate the sense of loneliness.

I have a pervasive feeling of not being good enough, nor entertaining, attractive or interesting enough for anyone to really care about me much. I can sometimes connect to people on a deeper emotional level (temporarily hiding the anxiety), but rarely do you find people who are willing to talk so serious all the time, and they will often move on to people they find more extroverted, fun and more attractive than me.

I am in therapy trying to fix these deep rooted issues.

I am very grateful to have a wonderful wife and a supportive family but I am still lonely. I do not have any friends that I feel close to. I have no one I can really talk to outside my family.

I am not alone, but I am lonely. I am surrounded by people who are able to listen to me – who actually care about me…but I find myself being unable to open up to them. Even my own family I have a hard time talking to. It feels like I am surrounded by people but still feel alone...

Melodic, I hear you. Honestly, I think most people are so shallow nowadays. They seem to be so selfish and self-centered that they are only attracted to people who can 'entertain them' all the time. How sad is that? I mean, where's the compassion, the sharing of the good and bad times, true friendship, true love?? Life has its ups and downs, and you deserve people who will stood by your side in the good and bad times.

I'm indifferent to this poll layout... you can be lonely and have friends. :| I chose the first answer, but I do have friends.

Absolutely agree.

By the way, took a look at your profile page, and, yep, gotta say, you seem like a decent person. I relate to your anxiety issues, and I'm in a similar/same boat. I dunno whether I'm agoraphobic, but I certainly feel like it, sometimes, as I struggle going out and spent most of my time indoors.

I'm not really alone, but I'm very lonely all the same. I had my very first therapy appointment a week ago and I ended up babbling my head off because I felt like it was the first time I had anyone to talk to in years. I have family, and one friend, but we only ever talk about superficial things. I don't usually hang out with my one friend for more than an hour a week too.

It's hard for me to make friends since I hate leaving the house and talking to people, but I still desperately want them. I feel like an idiot talking to people. Like I can't keep up with the conversation because my mind will start to worry I'm not being attentive enough, then like magic I lose focus on what they are saying and I feel like a complete idiot. Not to mention if I do or say anything slightly embarrassing I start to cry then my embarrassment goes through the roof and out of the universe, so naturally I can never allow myself to see that person ever again.

Keeping friends is another nightmare. Every once in a while I viciously turn on everything I like, then my "friends" (99.9% of the time online) have nothing in common with me anymore and we typically stop talking.

Yes. Only 1 friend who isn't even a close one, single, little to no contact with extended family, not close to my parents. I am a strong person but yes, I get lonely.

I'm lonely around people. School was the worst time of my life. Work too perhaps. I just need to find the right job

I agree with this so much. It's difficult to find people now who ask "How are you?" - and genuinely want to know.

I am lonely, yet I am surrounded by friends with whom I am engaged in an advanced relationship. Often, this emotional dissociation can be easily explained within a medical context, yet occasionally it will seem to me that the majority of people simply lack comprehension, understanding, discernible virtue or strength of character. I partially detach myself from them because of this.
Sometimes, it provides me with emotions similar to extreme elation. Others, it causes me to descend into a realm of depressive mania.

having friends doesn't mean you aren't lonely though, you can feel completely alone in the world and have people surrounding you, just depends on how you cope and whether those friends you have really care for your mental health or not

So true!

i think everyone has felt lonely at some point in the world and had a dozen of friends and a family there. it's just how you see yourself in your head and whether or not you realise who cares enough about you to see how you are! glad you agree

Loneliness has many facets:

LONELINESS---Loneliness of Spirit: Deeper than the Reach of Love by James Leonard Park.

I feel lonely a lot of times. I'm a stay at home mom with two kids and bad anxiety so it's hard for me to leave the house. During the day all I can do is call my husband at work or text with my two close friends but texting is not the same as talking.

Yes and have been for a long long time......staying busy is the best medicine, become a volunteer.....it fills the void. Good luck

Yes, I'm very lonely. That's the whole reason I even joined this forum, because I searched on Google for the word "loneliness" and this was one of the results. To be honest, I've had enough of the feeling. It's either going to get better soon or I might give up on life after all. I really don't want to do that, but the thing is that I've been feeling lonely for such a long time now. I have feelings of loneliness going back to when I was 13, five years ago. I'm going on 18 now, and I don't see anything improving for me at all in the near future. Mainly because it's been this way for so long already. People say that I'm young and have my whole life ahead of me still, that I should be patient and I will find the right person eventually. But what if I don't? That's what I'm afraid of having happen. That, and the idea that I might always be without friends. Because those are the two things I want more than anything else in my life right now: (1) a boyfriend, and (2) a best friend. I talk all about it in my intro thread. I guess I just want a really deep and meaningful relationship with someone like-minded and close to my age. The fact that I don't have that makes me feel damn lonely...

Thank you. I agree with you that we all deserve people who will be there through thick and thin, not those who only like us at our best. I might not always be entertaining and fun, but I will always be there for someone when they need me.

Sorry you feel lonely. I am lonely because I have no real friends. Sure I have people I interact with but they are just acquaintances. They don't seem to care about me as a friend so I just let them be. I feel like people just generally do not like me, or at least not like me enough to be friends with me. I agree, quality is better than quantity which is another reason I'm lonely.

Very lonesome here usually because the only interactions I have with people are while I'm working and I'm a completely different person. They'd never guess this laughing, smiling, joke telling girl is actually sad, anxious and continually cycling through emotions.

I suppose the loneliness steams from feeling like I can't connect with anyone because I fear if I show them how I really am they won't want to know anymore. I've had several close friends in the past that I tried opening up to and they all hit the ground running or turned around and used my own words against me.

Wow...I can hear myself through your words. I'm in the same boat