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#26
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when I was young I think I had two visions of myself. one was a realistic view. that is I imagined I would be living in a small apartment with no friends and no life what so ever I might work at a fast food place or something like that.
then I would have a vision of myself as a great artist that would be working for Disney or doing my own thing. maybe traveling, painting everywhere I go. I never thought I've ever be married (mostly because I never wanted to get married) and I never thought I would be too ill to have a job, but I do live in an apartment with no life or friends. so I think I was mostly correct on that. |
#27
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I didn't think much about my future at those ages, I think I was going through a tough time. Probably a busy graphic artists making animated movies, that's what I went to college for. I chose that because my art teacher said I was good at it. Well I dropped out, I'm an RN, have a young child, in a failed marriage. I am trying to slow down. Being burned out is not fun..
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#28
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When I was 14 I was severely depressed, but was managing quite well as I look back at it. I thought I would be a scientist working in a lab. I ended up working in a hospital as a part of a social work team for a while. As I got older like 17-18 I did not think I'd make it to 2014, but here I am.
__________________
“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
#29
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I thought I'd have a nice job, own a house, be married, have a family and car. I do have a car.
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#30
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In 2000 I wasn't even thinking about 2014 just seemed to far off.
Now for me life is just moving to fast, wish it would slow down. Or maybe rewind ten years. |
#31
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I was not brought up to believe much in myself. I thought I'd never know happiness, would be in dead end jobs that I didn't like all my life, have no self-esteem, end up in a bad marriage, and that my only saving grace would be having a few kids and leading them towards better opportunities than I'd had.
None of it ended up happening like that. I've had a rich social life, a good marriage, and despite not having more than a 7th grade education I've had a fairly illustrious career. (But sadly, no kids. Hub and I didn't get around to it in time.) Nothing my parents taught me about life and about myself was true.
__________________
“We use our minds not to discover facts but to hide them. One of things the screen hides most effectively is the body, our own body, by which I mean, the ins and outs of it, its interiors. Like a veil thrown over the skin to secure its modesty, the screen partially removes from the mind the inner states of the body, those that constitute the flow of life as it wanders in the journey of each day.” — Antonio R. Damasio, “The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness” (p.28) |
#32
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I think I certainly didn't think I'd manage to get back into fitness with such a vengeance, that I'd be back at college (!), that I'd be sorta in a place of my own via supported housing, and that I'd have taken up CBT for my OCD, or taking Propranolol for my anxiety. What would I do differently? Maybe nothing, ... I mean, sod it, things might not be perfect, but the crap makes me stronger... RARGH! xD
__________________
{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil [ `id -u` -eq 0 ] || exit 1 |
#33
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Nothing. I feel the same depression, PTSD, and lack of an ability to cast myself into the future then as I do now. MH has been a long, endless battle.
__________________
"I think I'm a hypochondriac. I sure hope so, otherwise I'm just about to die." PTSD OCD Anxiety Major Depressive Disorder (Severe & Recurrent) |
![]() Anonymous37954
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![]() IchbinkeinTeufel
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#34
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When i was in my 20's I envisaged that there would be a lot less crying by now......I was wrong
__________________
The devil whispered in my ear, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am the storm." ![]() |
#35
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I thought I'd change the world and have a satisfying career in some independent thinker/creator/gadfly role. I hoped I'd have a partner I'm content with, and we'd have a good chunk of land.
Finally I'm disillusioned of that apparent folly, though I can't quite let it go. The partner is good but complicated. I'll have land again, and it should be more because now I'm part of "us." I am definitely not content. |
#36
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I never considered what my future might hold, never got the chance. At 15, we lost my older sister and her 3 babies to a house fire. That shook our family down to our very cores. I could hear my mother screaming at night, and thought to go to her, but thought she may want to be left alone. So, long story short, I didn't have MY mom for a long time. I had a woman who would leave foods in the fridge that I could grab and eat without her help. And later on this same woman came home drunk with guy after guy, some of which were MUCH more interested in me, and were forceful. I learned to stay out at night as much as I could, and I did every possible bad thing a teen could do. I found that staying out at night would not save me from being forced. I stopped caring about it, turned my face aside, and let it happen. That was when Katana showed up. SHE fought back with a viciousness that was apalling and almost killed some men. Katana lives in my mind, and she protects me - coming forward to handle any problem with alacrity. That is actually helpful.
__________________
![]() Last edited by FooZe; Oct 19, 2014 at 02:58 PM. Reason: added trigger icon |
#37
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I was just as confused though more optimistic probably...
I'm so jaded for someone my age it's ridiculous. I'm exhausted a lot of the time and struggling with physical health that's also in decline. I don't see myself living a long and fulfilling life but i guessed that from the start really. Ho hum. |
#38
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Quote:
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#39
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Quote:
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#40
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Quote:
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#41
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Thank you for sharing -- I hope everything works out for you.
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#42
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I thought I would get a boyfriend and do really well academically in college. None of those had happened lol.
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![]() BluCrystal
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#43
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I envisioned myself happy.
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![]() BluCrystal
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#44
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Well, when I was like 14 my 20s were hard to imagine. I just thought I would be more independent.. mature and social.. Well, I can't really complain about my life. Except for the fact that I still don't have friends, it turned out well for me. But I don't think I could have done anything to help me be less lonely. I just regret I didn't study more, it could have helped me now..
__________________
My blog attempt: jeganeh.wordpress.com |
#45
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I always thought I would have accomplished something. As it is, I never even left the neighborhood I grew up in.
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#46
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I'm with LL in that I NEVER thought I would see the next century, let alone 2014. So each day is a curse and a blessing all rolled into one.
__________________
![]() I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it. -M.Angelou Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. -Anaïs Nin. It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view. -Dalai Lama XIV |
#47
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To be honest I didn't think I would live long enough to see this! I am glad I did but there is no point in stating what I would change because I can't and I have accepted that and moved forward.
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#48
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If I knew at 20 what I know today my life would be very different. I could have avoided several very critical periods in my life - like marrying my first wife or chasing some stupid non-existent career for the most of my life and I would have gone to art school instead of seminary. Age 20 for me was 44 years ago.
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#49
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I never envisioned anything, only to be not where I was.
__________________
It only takes a moment to be kind ~ |
#50
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The inability to come up with a real vision for my future was a gigantic problem for me at those ages, a problem that helped ruin things for the rest of my life. To be brutally honest, I'm still having trouble envisioning my future past 3 or 4 months ahead. So I'm trying to treat life as a "one day at a time" deal.
I never thought I'd make it to this age! I'm a 13 years past my "expiration date" and that's fantastic and scary at the same time.
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* Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia * Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder * Hoarder * Fibromyalgia * Major Depressive Disorder w/ Recurrent Major Depressive Episodes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world." |
![]() Beachlover527
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