How do you appear more friendly?

That is my question. I've never been very good at making friends and one thing I get along with put yourself out there more, is appear more friendly. I've done the first to no real success. So I figured I'd try the second, and that doesn't seem to help much either, I try things like asking about people's day, or trying to find something we can both talk about, but it never turns into two way conversation. I end up doing all the talking, or they won't let me ask similar questions back. Is what I'm doing considered friendly? What else could I try?

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Sounds friendly to me. Sounds like you are doing all you can. I'm in a dark place right now and feeling like there are two groups of people broken and whole I don't feel like I relate well with anyone who isn't also broken and they seem to have no use for me. But if someone was trying to be friendly like you were I would respond to that and ask questions back. Idk I don't get people so I don't know. Good luck. Just know the same thing happens to me I think in general people are self absorbed and don't see the forest for the trees.

I agree with SmileonmyFace, I think that you've got some great conversation starters up your sleeve.

Just thought I'd put it out there - it's important that you be as much of your "natural self" as possible (that's not really the word I'm looking for) but it's the closest terminology that I can think of, because I was thinking, if you come across as sounding/looking like you're trying to "remember" lines, people may be unsure of what you are thinking - I don't know if this makes sense.

I'd hazard a guess that indeed you actually are your natural self.

Just thought I'd put it in there as a reminder for you

I think you are on the right track, you just have to keep being open. Often people are wrapped up in their own thoughts or problems and they don't really notice. But I think the best way to make friends is to be geniunely interested in other people and one you do that, it's just a matter of time until someone is open to it. I would suggest being really easy going about it, I think a relaxed person is easier to relate to (not that you aren't relaxed but sometimes being overenthusiastic will make people nervous).

Personally, i wear a smile everywhere i go, i engage and acknowledge the people around me (like holding a door for them or saying hi) and ... i think this is a big one ... i use non -aggressive body language. I push myself out so i do look like I'm closed up into my own thoughts, but i also make myself smaller than others. I don't "man-spread".

So what I'm saying is i act like an eager puppy instead of alpha of the pack.

Sounds like it's the other people that need to be more friendly.........

I am not necessarily a social person, however when someone wishes to talk to me, I put up a smile. And talk in the gentlest and warmest tone I can, you know so they feel comfortable.
Take care~
MissLabarinth

I'm also not good at making friends and I've never felt friendly. I'm shy and always the befriended instead of initiator. So, much respect to you for trying.

I have trouble showing emotion and expression through my face. I stumbled on something that helped a little with that- facial yoga, lol. Once I started 'exercising' my face, stretching my face into all kinds of ridiculous expressions (when I was alone), expressions started to come a bit easier without me having to force them. It is now easier for me to smile. I think before when my face would start to crack into a smile it felt stiff & unusual so I unconsciously tried to correct back to my blank face. I've noticed people are more receptive to me now because I don't give off as much as a withdrawn & afraid vibe.

I dunno. Personally I don't try because I don't see why in the world someone would befriend someone as negative and boring like me. I know I can't offer anyone anything, and in our life almost no one gives/helps without waiting for something in return "I am not complaining, it makes sense and I completely understand that". I mean, if I can't make you enjoy the time you spend talking with me, I don't see why you would continue ! and a friendship that is based on pity is not friendship, and I don't think I'd accept something like that lol.

Also, it's easy for me to talk in a very negative way about myself , and even though I already know I am a loser , of course I wouldn't want to hear it from someone else , maybe this is the real reason why I never risk and try to talk to strangers, let alone trying to befriend them.

I agree about smiling with new friends and being a good listener. I need to do both those things much more.

I tend to look totally emotionless or sometimes scared in public. I'm incapable of making friends. It's so frustrating because at home with my parents I can laugh and joke, but once I step out my front door, I retreat into a shell and I'm a prisoner in my own body.

I can't appear friendly when I'm terrified and frozen. I wish people could see the real me, and not the mute that SM turns me into.

What I think most people want is someone to listen. If you look approachable, smiling, make intermittent eye contact and keep your body language soft most people will start talking and you can go on from there by reflecting back what they are saying. Once you've established contact build conversations on what they shared with you.

I smile and chat it up when I'm ringing up guests...if time allows...my memory allows me to remember a detail or two about them or who they are buying for...I've made a few cool acquaintances and some friends while doing this!

I should mention this took some work on my part. (2 years into the job) I'm more socially and verbally backward when I'm at a large gathering or a big holiday function.

Same issue here