[ComfortablyNumb5]

I just started a new job about 6 wks ago at a dr office. My bf's mom (who I don't get along with) got me a job there through a friend of hers. I should of known better than to take her handouts because her and her friend that works there gossip about me on fb. This lead to the friend treating me like **** at work. I've done everything to try and get on this girls good side. I'm super polite and even wrote her a nice letter because she got angry at me over some stuff my bf's mom said! Now I feel so stupid because no matter what I do or say I get crapped on each day. And lately her little group of girls at work have developed an attitude! One girl told me how countless women have quit because they couldn't take the stress and the gossip. Is it possible I'm being TOO nice to the point where people are taking advantage of me? I've always had a problem standing up for myself so when I get crap I just turn around and walk away. A friend of mine recently told me she used to work there doing my same job and warned me about this group of women too. I walked out of my last job because of a panic attack after confrontation and I don't want to lose another job because of my MI. Many pdocs have told me to go on SSDI but I don't have enough work history or the time to wait without an income. I get along fine with men! Why can't this be an office full of dudes?!

I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or have been in situations like this? Any input will do! Thanks in advanced!

RxQueen875, the only way to beat barracudas is to beat them at their own game. Come into the office all dolled up so the Doctor will notice. Do not stoop to their level no matter what. They sound like bitter old women. Yes men are more fun to work with, they are not catty people. Just do your job and come home. Give them the minimal interaction necessary to do your job and do fun stuff while working. Make it a game in your mind and WATCH them. They will feel the tables turned and will trip up doing their job. Mind games? Yes, but it is survival and it works. I stress again, no matter what Do Not stoop to their level and mouth off or walk out. Show you are bigger than them and professional. They will crack and you will win. It works every time. Hang in there and in the meantime transfer for a better paying position, i know you can do this. Home transcriptionist pays well and it a good step up. tc

[healingme4me]

Haha...men can have their own level of cattiness ^^omega. But I get what you mean. [Especially when they are minority of gender and get in the middle of thinking they are being supportive of one cat over the other..real life experience ]

I don't believe it's just because it's women but the dynamics. I work in kitchens, what does that say?

I hate to say it. Tough skin is necessary. To think none of them have anxiety, etc will hurt your chances of survival.

Is being respected or liked more important? It's the first. Go into do your job. Ignore them on fb, actually ignoring them unless work related is best. You only need to please your boss.

I repeat...you only need to please your boss. The rest don't matter. I've been known to be too nice. But I'll admit I've outlasted some serious dramatics, etc by focusing on professionalism.

Is there at least one safe colleague to at least say hi to?

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[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Go dressed as a man - that will fox them.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Maybe I should specify what I do at work. I'm a medical assistant but was hired in to be the dr's "walker". I go to see every patient with him and do everything from making his coffee to writing his scripts and lots of paper work for ordered procedures. Even though he can he somewhat of an *** snob at times, I love getting to learn from him and connecting with each patient. He's a cardio surgeon and what he does amazes me. He always makes sure I'm learning new stuff which is great! When I'm back in the rooms doing my thing, I'm happy. But when I have to walk behind the office area to make copies or ask a question I stiffen up from anxiety because that's where all the other women sit. Maybe they think my job isn't important even though I'm running around like a mad women breaking a sweat all day and they all sit in big cozy chairs at a desk. It sucks. But being busy at work makes the time go by!

[TishaBuv]

Kill 'em with kindness. Donuts?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Kill 'em with kindness. Donuts?

Believe me I try! They'd probably spit on my donuts lol. I'm over polite. I say thank you to everything and excuse me in the halls. When someone is leaving at night they say bye to everyone but me. I am "the new girl" and I guess the girl that last did my job left from anxiety! I see why they can't keep anyone around for long! My first few days on the job I had a panic attack and cried in the bathroom. They let me go home early. I'm sure they see me as weak and "messed up" now.

[healingme4me]

Nothing wrong with being polite.

They exclude you in saying good night? They don't just give a general goodnight to the entire group?

At least you've pinpointed the point of your days that bring about anxiety.

Another point that came to mind, when considering my own work experience. I'd started in this field right after my divorce. Quitting wasn't an option. I've observed hostile environments, literally. I eventually ended up managing a district kitchen, then someone became injured and I filled this role, as their van driver(school kitchens, btw) and I interact now with everyone.

What came to mind, was how I go from not being in any specific kitchen then walk in...sometimes on conversations, etc. Each group has their own culture, so to speak, so it's tough to really fit in, as the minutes spent together for bonding aren't there. Their bonds are tighter for being together more. Or so it seems. Because I really don't get involved, as I kept to myself the best that I could when I started--didn't want to talk about what transpired in my life, just wanted to work my hours and head home, I find myself better off emotionally and professionally.
Sometimes people don't either realize they aren't being inclusive or they don't realize others want to be included, yet, see....it's the social structure bringing about anxiety

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[Webgoji]

My wife usually worked around all men and really prefers it. She hates working in offices full of women because of just the thing you're describing. I don't understand why it happens that way, but there seems to be some kind of weird power struggle that starts to occur.

Wish I had some advice to offer, but I've seen it myself.

[TishaBuv]

Do you think they might envy your job and are jealous of you in some way?

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Do you think they might envy your job and are jealous of you in some way?

I've actually thought of that for a moment. I spend my work day by the dr's side Aaallll day long and attend to him. I get to meet every patient and learn about cool stuff! I'm the only one there that does that job. I can't even call in sick because no ones there to cover me. The girl that did the job before me quit because of anxiety. And I have to sit inches next to him so I can work the computer systems. I thought it was rather weird at first and it gave me anxiety being so close. So that tells you how stressful it can be. Most dr's I've worked for are very demanding and don't have much patience for anything. I gave him a pen with a cap instead of a click pen once and he threw it against the wall. I've had to make his coffee over twice because he's very particular. Trust me sometimes I rather be sitting in those big cozy office chairs behind a desk most times! I had a panic attack the third day on the job. But now that I've got to know him I love it! When I'm back in the offices (he sees patients in one of his three offices, not exam rooms) I'm fine and I love it. It's when I have to walk into the office area where the other girls are I really can't even breathe!

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Ativan 1mg PRN
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[eskielover]

Honestly I was thinking the jealousy thing also. You are not JUST doing secretarial stuff or answering phones which is more or less known as the lower level jobs (from my own personal experience & probably my own prejudices).

I had my BS degree & had a career in computer design engineering & worked mostly with ONLY MEN doing military contracts back in the late 1970's - 1993. I ended up having a break down at the point when all the contracts were ending & aerospace was dying & I ended up in what I felt was a glorified secretarial position in a department with mostly women including a woman manager (which I totally hated). I had a difficult time respecting women engineers after working with the men because most didn't know what they were doing but acted like they knew it all. There were a couple of women engineers that I enjoyed working with but most were in a totally different place than I was coming from.....& the pettiness was appalling.

Personally I would just be nice to them & basically tolerate them but don't get involved in anything social with the women & just focus on your own job & doing it & learning as much as you can....your own personal growth & future in the area you are enjoying & working in is where your focus needs to be & just let the other crap be in passing......perform as a professional & if necessary....keep those airs about you....don't stoop to their level as it will only backfire on you....basically the attitude of tolerating them when you have to would probably be in your best interest without doing it in a snotty way.

[TishaBuv]

I wonder if the doctor got touchy-touchy with the last girl. Maybe these women know it. Maybe no one ever stays working with him longer than a month, so they don't bother being friendly.

I hope this isn't the case because you like the job.

I'd just act friendly and ignore their snubs like you don't even notice. I hope this works out for you.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I wonder if the doctor got touchy-touchy with the last girl. Maybe these women know it. Maybe no one ever stays working with him longer than a month, so they don't bother being friendly.

I hope this isn't the case because you like the job.

I'd just act friendly and ignore their snubs like you don't even notice. I hope this works out for you.

My friend that use to do my job has said he's hit on her before and that he's sleeping with a girl that's worked there for like 20yrs. So yea, I know he's gotten flirty with some but thank god not me, yet. That would freak me out.

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

[JJG1979]

I recently switched departments at work due to a woman boss who was an absolute bully. Keep your head high and do your best to not let it bother you, but perhaps a chat with HR would be helpful as well?