[VernonJenkins]

Here, something more positive than contempt where there shouldn't be any fighting.

I value: honesty.

[tryingtobeconstruct]

Reaching out to me. If I'm low, I don't want to have to always call people to get some help. If they know I'm in crisis mode, I want them to proactively check in on me. If they don't I take that as a sign they're not really friends (and I think I'm accurate in that).

[TishaBuv]

Creativity

[eskielover]

I think that being TRULY CARING has to be my top value in others. When I moved to a whole new place at the age of 54, I encountered people who have truly cared about me & it taught me what real caring feels like & it also has taught me that it is ok to care about others the same way.

After growing up with parents for 21 years & then living in a marriage with a H incapable of emotionally connecting it was an amazing learning process of HOW TO develop what was inside of me wanting to come out being taught by example of the wonderful new people in my life.

All the other good traits just seem to come along with people who are TRULY CARING because you can't be TRULY CARING without having all the other good traits too.....it all comes together when you do LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR.

[Unrigged64072835]

I agree with Eskie.

[Altarian]

individuality and being genuine.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

I agree with Eskie.

Same here. I grew up with the following "Scout Law", and honesty is what sets the ball rolling...

A Scout is Trustworthy...tells the truth. He is honest, and he keeps his promises. People can depend on him.
A Scout is Loyal...true to his family, friends, Scout leaders, school, and nation.
A Scout is Helpful...cares about other people. He willingly volunteers to help others without expecting payment or reward.
A Scout is Friendly...a friend to all. He is a brother to other Scouts. He offers his friendship to people of all races and nations, and respects them even if their beliefs and customs are different from his own.
A Scout is Courteous...polite to everyone regardless of age or position. He knows that using good manners makes it easier for people to get along.
A Scout is Kind...knows there is strength in being gentle. He treats others as he wants to be treated. Without good reason, he does not harm or kill any living thing.
A Scout is Obedient...follows the rules of his family, school, and troop. He obeys the laws of his community and country. If he thinks these rules and laws are unfair, he tries to have them changed in an orderly manner rather than disobeying them.
A Scout is Cheerful...looks for the bright side of life. He cheerfully does tasks that come his way. He tries to make others happy.
A Scout is Thrifty...works to pay his own way and to help others. He saves for the future. He protects and conserves natural resources. He carefully uses time and property.
A Scout is Brave...can face danger although he is afraid. He has the courage to stand for what he thinks is right even if others laugh at him or threaten him.
A Scout is Clean...keeps his body and mind fit and clean. He chooses the company of those who live by high standards. He helps keep his home and community clean.
A Scout is Reverent...reverent toward God. He is faithful in his religious duties. He respects the beliefs of others.

Many things but I'll name Honesty as number 1.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Compassion

It doesn't take a lot really, just pretend you were either facing the same circumstances or felt the same way emotionally as the other person - then express to them how you feel at the realization yours is just "pretend" but theirs is "real" - it's no different from what you would want others to do for you, so do it for them too

[Crazy Hitch]

My number one value is honesty too!

[Turtle_Rider]

Same like friend thread: loyalty, honesty, and respect.

[possum220]

I value compassion, understanding and a cracking sense of humour.

Honesty...........

[pachyderm]

Intelligence and not being afraid to be "different".

Integrity

Loyalty...people who stay by you no matter what.

You don't walk away if you love someone. You help the person. -Hillary Clinton

[Krow]

Independence.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by iPhone

Loyalty...people who stay by you no matter what.

You don't walk away if you love someone. You help the person. -Hillary Clinton

Problem is if you cant trust the person & all they are doing is hurting you then loyalty only ends up hurting yourself. Sadly unfounded loyalty is why so many people stay in abusive relationships. That kind of loyalty is NOT wise

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Intelligence and not being afraid to be "different".

I think common sense is more important than intelligence....I was married to a guy with a very high IQ & Like you, I valued intelligence. I thought thst was the key ingredient missing in my parents. Turned out that highly intelligent guy turned out to be just like my dad....just as unable to emotionally connect & just as unable to communicate in a rational way. That kind of being different just wasnt what makes a marriage work & personally realized I needed to rethink that value I had held high for all my life.

I do very much appreciate intelligent CARING people who I can communicate with though

[Sassandclass]

Originally Posted by tryingtobeconstruct

Reaching out to me. If I'm low, I don't want to have to always call people to get some help. If they know I'm in crisis mode, I want them to proactively check in on me. If they don't I take that as a sign they're not really friends (and I think I'm accurate in that).

If I might make a side point:
I'm one of those people who like to reach out. But at times, I've been told by the people in crisis mode that they "just need to be left alone". One friend didn't even want to be contacted at all when she was down.
What do you suggest to show that you care, but let your friend deal with it however they need (ie: being alone)

[VernonJenkins]

Originally Posted by Sassandclass

If I might make a side point:
I'm one of those people who like to reach out. But at times, I've been told by the people in crisis mode that they "just need to be left alone". One friend didn't even want to be contacted at all when she was down.
What do you suggest to show that you care, but let your friend deal with it however they need (ie: being alone)

I would say, "If you do want to talk, I'm here. I will respect your wish to be left alone."

[RainyDay107]

People that have good listening skills.

[MuseumGhost]

People who are good listeners
...who think before they speak
...and are genuinely kind
...and can discuss emotional issues as needed, realistically
...real warmth. I adore warm and friendly people. Also, affectionate people.
...personal and professional integrity, good ethics
...a willingness to learn as they carry on with their lives
...generous and hospitable people. They are becoming too rare, far too quickly.
...patience.
...empathy.
...a desire to understand. Real humanity.
...an expansive sense of humour.

People who are accepting (verses judgemental) and can laugh at mistakes rather than take them to seriously.....

Great topic and replies!

I think MuseumGhost's are spot on for me too, they have expressed so well the qualities I am lucky to see in so many of my friends.