Life by Misadventure 2

!!

Ceph—you are always crack me up!!

I turn 25 tomorrow woot woot!

Happy last day of being 24

I celebrated my birthday last night with my family and my best friend. It was a bit of a roller coaster.

I had a 4 hour orientation for my new job, and halfway through it out of nowhere I had a full blown anxiety attack that lasted for an hour. I was absolutely terrified and so embarrassed. I felt a wave coming over me for 15 minutes, and then we got let out for break and I felt really dizzy, took a couple benadryl and a sprite and sat in my car absolutely frozen and terrified. I felt like I was going to be carted off in an ambulance. I only had enough strength to text my dad a couple times who told me to take the benadryl and practice deep breathing, and then while I was sitting in the car I had to talk myself down from it and told myself, "Okay, at 3:35 I have to go back no matter how I'm feeling" so I went back and fifteen minutes later the benadryl kicked in and I slowly snapped out of it. I have no idea what triggered it, but it was the longest-lasting anxiety attack I've ever had. My eyes hurt from the bright lights and the flashing transitions on the powerpoint, and my brain felt like it was being squeezed and I was just filled with dread. When I came back, I drank three bottles of water and the drive home was exhausting.

I was still iffy when I came home and went out for dinner, but I made myself push through those feelings and my parents, my grandparents, my best friend, and I went to a BBQ place and we had ribs and potato salad and macaroni salad. It was delicious and the first rib was hard to eat because I was still anxious, but then after that I managed to eat two more and was feeling pretty good.

Then we came home and my uncle and his girlfriend was there and we all had cake and ice cream and opened up presents. My uncle and his girlfriend got me a "Cat Lover's Adult Coloring Book" which I thought was from my mom because it wasn't wrapped, then I looked on the inside and my uncle and his girlfriend both wished me a happy birthday on the inside cover and they also gave me a set of really nice colored fine-point pens which is actually my favorite type of pen. My best friend gave me a really cute card that had a cat on it with glittery-pink hipster glasses my grandparents gave me a sweet card, and my mom and dad got me a target gift card and the same student bible that I used to have before the fire, even from the same year that the first one was from and my mom and dad both wrote an excerpt from the bible. It made me tear up.

So my best friend, my uncle and his girlfriend and I wanted to play Cards Against Humanity, but my grandparents also wanted to play, but they couldn't understand that this was a game they were not meant to play let alone watch, so we ended up playing poker which I was bummed about but my uncle's girlfriend showed me a magic trick with the cards that was really cool. Then we all took a fireball shot and my uncle and his girlfriend made a toast to me and then we did our own thing after that and my best friend slept over.

((((((LL))))))) Wow! It sounds like a really nice ending to a stressfulish / rollercoaster of a day. I'm sorry you had that panic attack. That must have been really stressful. You should be proud of yourself, at the same time, for managing it, going back in, texting your dad, etc. I really enjoyed reading about your day and how you celebrated your b-day w/ your family. I'll be here tomorrow with the balloons.

4 more days until Christmas!!

*sniff* Our Lark is growing up. It seems like just yesterday we were feeding her bottles of fireball and eggnog.

Seriously though, that was a very sweet story. I'm so glad it turned out well. I'll be here too tomorrow.

Hooray! And also, AGGGGHHHHH. Why must the perception of time be manipulated as we get older to seem faster.

Thank you. It was so scary to go through and I was embarrassed it happened during the seminar and that the whole group waited a long time for me to come back. But it was still a fun day.

Hahaha awwww!

I have a very special surprise for me tomorrow...or midnight, if I can make myself stay up that late

When I was 20, and I believe I talked about this before, I wrote a letter to open when I turned 25. I have no idea what I wrote, but I'm very excited to open it tomorrow.

Very Happy Nearly Birthday to you, Literary Lark!

That's awesome!! I am so bad at waiting for stuff like that. Enjoy what your 20 year old self wrote.

I found this cute little dog on Fuzzy’s wall. I’m stealing her

BJ - I was trying so hard not to laugh at my desk at work earlier today!

That is such a great idea. Are you going to write to your future self again?

Yes, I will.

Oh no you guys...I caught a virus! I hope you don't catch it through PC. It's terrible...I came down with it last night, and today was my very first day on the job so it was awkward to tell my new coworkers not to shake my hand. Blah! I just took super duper powerful night time cold meds...if I make any more posts in the next hour...I'm sure I'll be near-sleep and utterly loopy.

Happy Birthday LL!

Happy Birthday LL!!

My letter to my 25-year-old self was very interesting. I was a bit let down, but I think that's a good thing. I did not write it the day I turned 20; I wrote it because when I was working at an elementary school my group of kids wrote letters to their future self and I wanted to do the same for me. I talked about not wanting children because I was scared of childbirth (now, I still am but more willing to go through the process) and that I was afraid to pass on my bipolar gene (which I am no longer afraid of this). I talked about taking a class on different types of contraception and that I was thinking about the IUD. I talked about how much I wanted to travel and that I urged my 25-year-old self to do so. I talked about marriage, I talked about my current crushes and that they were leading no where, and I talked about the standards I wanted to set for myself in choosing a partner, and that I wanted a long engagement. I gave myself advice after then only being 2 years of diagnosed with bipolar to stick to the meds no matter if I am "feeling better" and if I am feeling down, to never give up.

I was most bummed about not knowing more of what I was like at 20, but in some senses I did, just not in as much detail as I'd like. I have a feeling if I wrote a letter to my 30 year old self, I'd have to think about what I'd be like at 30, because my experiences and thoughts I had at 20 were very different than I'd think now, so I think for this next letter, I'll focus more on how my life is going and not so much what I hope to accomplish by 30. It was still very interesting to read.

Happy birthday Lark, and congrats on turning 1/4th of a century old!!!!

Oh, I'm glad you shared your letter with us. I was hoping you would, but I didn't want press it if it was personal. I might consider doing something like this.

Today is my last day of work before vacation, so I'm running around like mad right now, but I hope to come back and mingle in the evening. I know you already officially celebrated, but I hope today is wonderful for you, nonetheless.

Happy, happy birthday, LiteraryLark!

This piano is playing your favorite song!

Thank you! I had a really good day. Today was my 2nd day on the job and I am a natural on the registers. It is by far the easiest POS I've dealt with, and lines are not as crazy and most people are very nice. Solving problems almost always have easy solutions and solutions I can remember for next time. My bosses and coworkers come up to me and introduce myself with genuine kindness and interest which is both shocking and relieving. I even went on a scavenger hunt! Haha! I am learning a lot and I am very happy with my new job, for Christmas my boss gave me a lottery ticket and a gift card to Peet's Coffee.

I'm about to go to Chick Fil A for dinner with my mom and dad.

Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! I really don't get birthday wishes here and I had some in my PM which was so cool and I really appreciate it!

Happy belated birthday LL. Glad to hear that you have a nice day. That letter in fascinating.