[seesaw]

I'm curious to see how far it goes...I have had a few friends like it already.

am so sick and tired of seeing this post floating around by people who have no idea what happens when you call a crisis line. Stop posting the suicide hotline number in an attempt to make yourself feel good and show how enlightened you are about mental illness. It's total ********. Try it sometime and tell them you are low. You know the ONLY response you get? You get told to go to the hospital. They don't talk to you. They don't help you. They just tell you to call your doctor or if you can't wait, to go to the ER. Or worse, I know people who have been hung up on by those suicide hotlines. But after you call, and you go to the ER, you know what happens?

You know what happens when you get to the ER? They intake you. Then they forcibly drug you. Then they put you in handcuffs and shackle you while you await a police escort to take you to a psych hospital...if you're lucky the escort may be in an ambulance, but often it's in a police vehicle. So you're depressed. Possibly suicidal. And the way they've been trained to deal with you is like a violent criminal. Do you know what a violation it feels like to be forcibly injected because you don't want to be involuntarily committed and all you wanted was someone to talk to, and yet all your "friends" can do is tell you to call a suicide hotline that only directs you to go the ER, so you can be abused legally.

You want to truly help people who have depression and need help? Stop telling them to call a hotline that provides no real help. Talk to them when they call. Invite them to sleep on your sofa so they'll be safe. Go over and play a board game with them to help distract them from their intrusive depressive thoughts. You don't have to give them advice. You don't have to fix them. Just ****ing be there if you're really a friend. If you really want to help, look up a therapist and help them get an appointment, because they may not be well enough to navigate that maze on their own. Take care of your own and stop fobbing them off on a "support" hotline that only contributes to vulnerable people being committed and abused by doctors who have no clue how to deal with the mentally ill.

[MoxieDoxie]

I used their chat line last night as a distraction from partaking in my eating disorder dysfunctional behaviors. They give cookie cutter answers. There is no real feeling there. They do not prod you to talk and there can be long pauses of nothing. So I just disconnected chat with a big sigh knowing that was not going to be any help.

[FallDuskTrain]

Thank you, Seesaw, for posting this.
I cannot agree more. In fact, I had to cut ties to two friends of mine only and inly because of the reasons you mentioned above.
I have never had the courage to verbalize this and I admire you for doing so.

[Carmina]

I've called Samaritans before they were very helpful and talked me down. No mention of hospital, I guess this is a different 'crisis line'. I was given a crisis team number by my care coordinator but don't dare ring them because they probably would take me in.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by seesaw

Take care of your own and stop fobbing them off on a "support" hotline that only contributes to vulnerable people being committed and abused by doctors who have no clue how to deal with the mentally ill.

I have many friends on fb who have shared this. I love them so much for trying. I don't think any of my friends does it to make themselves look good. They do it because their hearts are in the right place. Every time I see it I really feel like they are trying to pass on information they think might save someone's life. Note: I am a softie and optimist.

On the flip side I love that you spoke out about how it makes you feel and the issues. You are really standing up for everyone with mental illness and for that I am so proud of you.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

I have many friends on fb who have shared this. I love them so much for trying. I don't think any of my friends does it to make themselves look good. They do it because their hearts are in the right place. Every time I see it I really feel like they are trying to pass on information they think might save someone's life. Note: I am a softie and optimist.

On the flip side I love that you spoke out about how it makes you feel and the issues. You are really standing up for everyone with mental illness and for that I am so proud of you.

My problem is that they think they are offering a helpful solution when instead they are just fibbing their friends off on a hotline. And I do feel like 75% of my Facebook friends post this because it's "cool" to behave like you're in support of people with depression. I call shenanigans on it, because they know I have ptsd and depression and they walked away from me and distanced themselves from me when the **** hit the fan. Instead telling me to call a hotline that only ended in my violation and abuse.

But, this is just my opinion of those posts. I think it's like "caring-lite." Instead of truly caring.

For all the times I've called those kinds of numbers, I've been mostly helped. Usually, I just needed to talk about something truly and deeply bothering me, that was causing my deep depression (so I've used it as a warm line). There have been a couple times where it wasn't a good fit between me and the person on the other end. One time I complained.

I've never really talked about my own suicidal ideation before with the hotlines, because of what you were saying about the hospital. I have no idea if they'd send me and I wouldn't want to chance it by talking about it.

I do think that people post things like that on Facebook, because they do care. But its like, ignorant and well-meaning at the same time. I do understand the frustration of having an unavailable friend, who then posts **** like that. Its maddeningly ironic.

[FallDuskTrain]

I have a question for everyone following this thread: do you think that they are telling one the go to ER or call the suicide hotline because they don’t want to deal with her/his problems?
I am posing this question based on my personal experience. Former friends who knew about my MI openly told me “I do not have the time and energy to deal with your problems. I have my own. Call the suicide hotline or go to ER. Good luck”.
I never heard from them again. So, if it were coming from a caring and a compassionate place, wouldn’t they have taken the initiative to follow up with me?
I cannot help but think that some of them clearly did not care and some wanted me to be in worse position.

[Artchic528]

When I'm on here and see that someone is contemplating the unthinkable, I always helpfully recommend the hotline numbers because that's what they are there for, and I can't exactly do much else from my laptop to help them. It's also what this site says to do.

[winter loneliness]

I think there are good helplines and bad helplines. And they are geared towards young people who feel they can't tell family.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

When I'm on here and see that someone is contemplating the unthinkable, I always helpfully recommend the hotline numbers because that's what they are there for, and I can't exactly do much else from my laptop to help them. It's also what this site says to do.

Art. I'm not talking about on here. I'm talking about what people's real life friends and family do.

And there are times when I will pm with someone who is suicidal and help distract them. Yes, if someone is so far beyond, then yes, a trip to the hospital would be good. But this is not about what goes on in here.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

I have a question for everyone following this thread: do you think that they are telling one the go to ER or call the suicide hotline because they don’t want to deal with her/his problems?
I am posing this question based on my personal experience. Former friends who knew about my MI openly told me “I do not have the time and energy to deal with your problems. I have my own. Call the suicide hotline or go to ER. Good luck”.
I never heard from them again. So, if it were coming from a caring and a compassionate place, would they have followed up with me?
I cannot help but think that some of them clearly did not care and some wanted me to be in worse position.

Fall, this is exactly what I'm talking about. It's an out for them. They don't want to hear us or help us, and think that a hospital will help, when in fact, the hospital will.most likely only traumatize. Even when you voluntarily admit yourself, if you decide it's not helpful and want to check out, they threaten to involuntarily commit you so they can keep you and continue to charge your insurance.

It's a cop out.

I think my friends share that stuff at least in part because they have watched me struggle. These same people have listened to me, shared their stories, visited me in the hospital and had my back. I'm 100% sure their concern is genuine and their hearts are in it. Why would I be friends with someone who only pretended to care. I wouldn't.

For what its worth I mean no disrespect seesaw. We all have our views and journeys. Maybe I've just been really lucky.

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

I have a question for everyone following this thread: do you think that they are telling one the go to ER or call the suicide hotline because they don’t want to deal with her/his problems?
I am posing this question based on my personal experience. Former friends who knew about my MI openly told me “I do not have the time and energy to deal with your problems. I have my own. Call the suicide hotline or go to ER. Good luck”.
I never heard from them again. So, if it were coming from a caring and a compassionate place, wouldn’t they have taken the initiative to follow up with me?
I cannot help but think that some of them clearly did not care and some wanted me to be in worse position.

Real friends don't pull stuff like this. My friends message me and I hit the ground running. They do that for me too. I'm sorry you were treated that way. No one deserves that.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Real friends don't pull stuff like this. My friends message me and I hit the ground running. They do that for me too. I'm sorry you were treated that way. No one deserves that.

I have close friends and family behave that way.

That is terrible. I'm sorry.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Real friends don't pull stuff like this. My friends message me and I hit the ground running. They do that for me too. I'm sorry you were treated that way. No one deserves that.

I agree but they do. In fact, every single friend of mine cut ties with me after they started seeing beyond my cheerful self. And i was there for them for anything and anytime they needed me. BUT when I was too depressed to get out of bed and suicidal, they told me to either go to ER or call the suicide hotline and they disappeared forever. Every single friend did this.
It is ****ed up.
Anyways, I certainly don’t want to make this thread about me. Sorry, that was not my intention. I am posting it with the hopes that my experience could touch at least one person and change her/his perspective in helping friends.

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

I agree but they do. In fact, every single friend of mine cut ties with me after they started seeing beyond my cheerful self. And i was there for them for anything and anytime they needed me. BUT when I was too depressed to get out of bed and suicidal, they told me to either go to ER or call the suicide hotline and they disappeared forever. Every single friend did this.
It is ****ed up.

This hurts me so much for you and it makes me mad. When my best friend texted me and said she wasn't doing good I invited myself over and we cried together. If a stranger asked me for help I would go. I can't fathom someone who is too busy for someone with depression.

Additionally, if anyone ever needs to talk, I'm here. Doesnt matter who you are, I'll make time for you. Fair warning: when I'm not in a crippling depression I am obnoxiously happy, silly and optimistic.