How are you feeling right now #4

Anxious today

I feel pretty good this morning

Bored but good this afternoon

Fingers crossed that you guys get some rain, Cheryl.

I'm beat. So tired. The stuff at work is still insane. I'm feeling a little validated though, because yesterday afternoon one of my teammates told me she was on the verge of falling apart - and she's one of the most competent, smartest people I know. So, it's not just me. And, our poor project manager is going crazy too.

It's a terrible project. But that doesn't erase the fact that I've also been thrown in a role that is a terrible fit for me, and that's depressing. I feel like I'm wasting my life - and I don't know how to fix it.

I'm overwhelmed with everything.

I think I'm going to try a new T. There's one locally... I don't really have a good feeling about whether he can help, but he has awesome reviews and has been at it awhile. I've been meaning to call... but it's hard to fit that in when I'm overwhelmed with everything else.

My legs are a little sore. I think it's from the 5 minutes (yup, that's it!) of rowing yesterday. I also walked for about 25 minutes, before hitting the sauna. But I haven't done the rowing machine in decades... so I think that may have challenged those muscles a little bit.

Got to talk with some interesting people in the sauna too, which was nice. A woman that I've chatted with before was there, with her daughter. They're both lovely, though I felt a little awkward. I'm fairly isolated, so I'm afraid that I might come off as a bit too intense at times. But, I did enjoy talking to them both.

Happy it's Friday. I think I need to force myself to drive to the store and just pick out a dishwasher already. Mine has been dead for the last... 3-4 months, I think. And I've been stressing about it. I think it might be better to just go do it, and deal with any problems that come up, rather than trying to solve problems that don't exist yet with extra research. I am tired of having this hanging over me, and it would be nice to just get it done and move on with my life.

Maybe not tonight though. So so tired from work and the gym last night, and I've got a couple other things that I have to do tonight.

*hugs*

Thank Guilloche we are expected rain but thunderstorms.


I feel good this morning

I hope the rain comes through for you Cheryl, if it hasn't yet.

I am tired this morning. Didn't sleep well. Feeling overwhelmed with personal stuff now (since it's the weekend), and sad... I think about what I want out of life, where I'd like to be, and it feels so impossibly far - I feel like I have about as much chance as swimming to Antarctica on my own as actually creating the life that I want.

But right now, I guess I need to find some lunch and try to focus on dishwashers. My dishwasher has been broken for... I don't know, most of this year I guess? It shouldn't be this hard. I need to just pick something and have them come try to install it.

Mixed emotions

A little physically tired (did a lot of physical work) but otherwise satisfied with what my husband and I achieved today.

Quite pissed off.

Bored...

First can you see the photo If you can does he look like there's a white patch in front of his hair. Interested because white forelock's run in my family, No not presuming he's related. I'm interested in this genetic trait because it runs on my dad's side.

Kind of creeped out because the neighbor is doing yard work and it’s basically dark outside. Although he’s probably more creeped out by my cat who is staring at him through the window.😏

Mixed emotions

It has been hot today,I am feeling hot and tired.I have been wanting to get chores done today and for the last few days,have not been able to get going.I feel bad about that.There are dishes to wash up been in the sink 10 days plus.It's not funny and the carpets need vacuuming.I feel like such a failure.There is also a lot of garden work needs doing and there is only me to do it.I let myself and my home down.There is also laundry to do,cleaning and I have to sort the bins and change the duvet cover and pillowcases on my bed.I am a mess a complete disgrace.

Tired from sleeping too much

Doing ok. Mildly nauseous and anxious, but better than I have been. Today I'm going to knit, go to the gym, and read.

At this moment...I need and will have a good cry....still grieving, my friends.....i can only compartmentalize for so long...

I can’t tell if I’m really hungry or if I’m about to have an anxiety attack. This happens a lot and it’s always fun guessing. Considering I just ate I’m assuming I’m about to have an anxiety attack.

Much better.

Im ok this afternoon

Mixed emotions this morning

A little anxious this afternoon

Super exhausted.

I'm not feeling anything.

I feel hopeful and encouraged.I guess I am struggling a bit with the depression but am nowhere near giving up like when I was depressed and going into psychosis.I am feeling hesitant cos I am speaking to my narc sister via text about my mum's welfare and the texts have got chatty and talk has turned to housework and gardening and how I struggle with it,but I know she doesn't care she used to tire me out with arguments so I couldn't have the strength to do it and she used to sabotage things in my house so they'd go wrong and things would get messed up and I couldn't cope with the mess and go into depression,get physically weak and she'd mess with my mind so much i'd go into psychosis.She was trying to drive me to suicide and now I am chatting to her as if that never happened.I haven't forgotten it though and I know she is only using me and doesn't care about me or love me she hates me and wants me dead.I feel sad about that.

At least I am struggling alone now and coming out on top,instead of struggling alone and going under into rock bottom suicidal psychosis because of her abusing me.I need to stop treating her like a normal sister and keep my distance.